Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to somehow stop Dd from joining the army

232 replies

Witchonastick · 21/01/2020 11:02

Dd is currently y11.
Her choices for A-level are quite academic and at the moment its borderline if she’ll get the GCSEs to be able to do those subjects.

She’s told me her back up plan if she doesn’t make the grades is to join the army!

I know it’s possible to to have a good career within the army, but she’s talking about infantry.

Normally I’d never want to stop her doing whatever she wants to do, but the army?
And infantry?

I could cry with worry over this, but it how or if I could talk her out of it.

OP posts:
user3575796673 · 21/01/2020 11:04

Is she likely to make it through basic training?

Mrsjayy · 21/01/2020 11:05

She could end up with a trade if she went into the army maybe help her to research it a bit more but there is no shame to be a soldier even if it is lowly infantry.

Whynosnowyet · 21/01/2020 11:06

My ds is currently doing his phase 1 training..
Never been prouder.

QueenArseClangers · 21/01/2020 11:06

How about steering her towards the Navy?

Cryingoverspilttea · 21/01/2020 11:08

Or she'll get in on clearing anyway 🤷‍♀️

needsahouseboy · 21/01/2020 11:10

well unless she is incredibly fit she won;t make the infantry. Has she looked at the fitness tests the infantry do?

Put a backpack on her weighting in around 50kg (with all kit and radio etc it would likely weight more than this!) and ask her to go for a run for 2 hours.

I'd steer her towards the Navy or RAF.

Sweetandawfulsour · 21/01/2020 11:10

Ask her why the infantry? If she wants to do the minimum and have some fun and travel the world then why not. But is she likely to make it through the infantry training? I know a few gents who didn’t hack it and they were built like gods. It’s mentally and physically challenging. If she wants a “combatty” role then the Artillery is female friendly offering roles in everything from logistics, commutations to guns and missiles.
If she wants to further her education and still travel, tell her to look into nursing, dental, clerk, engineering or even logistics. If she gets the grades, look at Officer roles.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/01/2020 11:10

Normally I’d never want to stop her doing whatever she wants to do, but the army?
And infantry?

Then don't do it here, either. Realistically she's got a long way to go before she does any type of service, she'd need to make it through interviews and basic training, and she may well be better off learning a trade or something - but she has opportunities and if the army interests her, she should explore it and make her own call.

If you talk her out of it and she hates whatever she ends up doing, she may well blame you for not letting her try.

Mrsjayy · 21/01/2020 11:11

She is what 15 ? Let her do her exams first and see how she goes and maybe get her to review her Alevel choices ?

Original poster
Witchonastick · 21/01/2020 11:11

It’s not shame or lowly infantry I’m worried about. It’s her being sent to war zones and the risk of being injured or killed as part of a job!

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 21/01/2020 11:12

If she wants infantry then how about she joins the RAF regt.

TeenPlusTwenties · 21/01/2020 11:12

I think 16 is quite young to do this. One concern I have, is if they hate it / get injured and have to drop out they can't start a college course part way through.

Why not get her to look at BTECs as a fall back?
Then if she still wants to join at 18 she can do.

There are some quite active BTECs, for example Outdoor Pursuits or Uniformed Public Services. But also all sorts of others such as Event Management, Applied Science, Animal care with routes to Vet Nursing etc.

Other option is to find a school with lower entry requirements (if your school is a grammar they might be unnecessarily high), or switch A levels.

ChinookPilotsGoVertical · 21/01/2020 11:12

I was "lowly infantry", thanks for that.
All trades are now open to women but they will be rigorously tested in training - she may not pass or she may change her mind.
Royal Signals, Royal Engineers, Roya Amy Medical Corps all offer excellent training & experience, Military Police, Army Air Corps etc there's plenty of choice for a variety of excellent, (well regarded by civilian employers) training, great experiences & opportunities.

Scatterlit · 21/01/2020 11:15

Like a pp said, is she very fit?

Sweetandawfulsour · 21/01/2020 11:16

There’s very little chance she’d be sent anywhere during her service that would be classed as a war zone. People are leaving the services due to there being no conflicts.
She’d likely spend her day to day week sweeping the garrisons and making copious amounts of tea for bored man children.

Mrsjayy · 21/01/2020 11:16

Ok fair enough I apologise for being sarcasticm I get you are worried one of my children has a dangerous job but you can't protect them forever and if she wants to try for the army she will resent you if you don't let her try.

Kirstymc159 · 21/01/2020 11:18

I joined the army for the exact same reason! I didn’t get the grades I needed. I joined at 18, stayed for 5 years and it was the making of me! Get her to do some proper research, there are so many things she could do. Engineering, mechanics, admin roles, chef, driver, nurse, dentist, police, so many options. Support her, it is tough and I relied heavily on my parents when I was going through the process of joining up and training.

PlanDeRaccordement · 21/01/2020 11:21

It’s her life, not yours.
Besides, it’s not for life. She can choose to stay or go at the end of each enlistment period.
If she does the full twenty years, she’ll have earned a pension. And only be in her late thirties.
It’s not a bad career and I think it’s a great back up plan.

Original poster
Witchonastick · 21/01/2020 11:22

@ChinookPilotsGoVertical No offence meant at all. I was responding to a pp.
I’ve never seen job as lowly Flowers

I’d say, no she’s not incredibly fit at the moment but she is bloody determined!

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 21/01/2020 11:25

I'm an army wife. DH hasn't fired a rifle, even at a target, in about 5 years now. Medics seem to see the most 'action' through the humanitarian side.

Get her to join cadets so she can get a taste- she may love it and make her more determined, or hate it and look elsewhere. If she loves it, it might point her towards a good career path. (Not that there's nothing wrong with infantry)

Seeline · 21/01/2020 11:26

What does she want to do with her A levels if she gets the grades to do them? Onto uni/apprenticeship/still the Army?

Mrsjayy · 21/01/2020 11:27

I don't think infantry is lowly either it was how I read then sarky replied to the Op sorry Blush

Urkiddingright · 21/01/2020 11:27

I wouldn’t want this either and would also try to deter my children. I think it’s natural instinct to want to protect your children from harm, however old they are. The army isn't exactly a risk free career is it?

Original poster
Witchonastick · 21/01/2020 11:27

I’m aware it’s her life and I can’t say no. But I want to.

I think it’s comes from her enjoyment of the army cadets. She’s had an absolutely brilliant time with the cadets and the weekends away/ annual camps.
But I’m thinking the actual army will be a bit of a shock.

OP posts:
Scott72 · 21/01/2020 11:28

"It’s not shame or lowly infantry I’m worried about. It’s her being sent to war zones and the risk of being injured or killed as part of a job!"

I don't think Britain is actually at war with anyone at the moment, and is unlikely to be involved in a full scale war with anyone anytime soon. Furthermore female soldiers tend to be kept away from the frontline as much as reasonably possible. So I think your fears here are largely unfounded.