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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to somehow stop Dd from joining the army

232 replies

Witchonastick · 21/01/2020 11:02

Dd is currently y11.
Her choices for A-level are quite academic and at the moment its borderline if she’ll get the GCSEs to be able to do those subjects.

She’s told me her back up plan if she doesn’t make the grades is to join the army!

I know it’s possible to to have a good career within the army, but she’s talking about infantry.

Normally I’d never want to stop her doing whatever she wants to do, but the army?
And infantry?

I could cry with worry over this, but it how or if I could talk her out of it.

OP posts:
ThePolishWombat · 21/01/2020 13:14

Also concur with what Herpesfree said - the amount of “action” she might see is very trade dependant.
I have friends who only ever left the U.K. for training exercises and adventure training - never actually deployed because they weren’t needed!

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 21/01/2020 13:14

A 15 year-old with real plans??? You should be proud of her!

PhilSwagielka · 21/01/2020 13:17

Do they let girls in the infantry now? I thought it was the one regiment that was men only.

PhilSwagielka · 21/01/2020 13:19

My bad, they've changed the rule now.

OP, does she do Cadets or anything like that?

Missillusioned · 21/01/2020 13:21

I believe they do allow women in the infantry, but the physical requirements are such that very few women pass.

If you think about it, the infantry are the people most likely to end up in hand to hand combat (although in modern armies this is uncommon compared to the past). It stands to reason that a female soldier is at a disadvantage there.

caringcarer · 21/01/2020 13:21

If she is already in Army Cadets and enjoying it then she will have an idea of what will be required. We all only have one life and should personally choose how to spend it and what we want to do. Did your parents stop you doing what you wanted? You have to let her do what she wants without making her feel guilty. Be supportive not critical. There is a long time to go yet and children change their minds a lot but try to be on her side not against her choices.

ultrablue · 21/01/2020 13:23

**22Brefugee

You may be in for a shock if you think that bad GCSEs will get you into the army (I could be wrong though). The selection tests are quite rigorous and the physical is robust. So if the Army is going to be Plan B she needs to research exactly what she needs to do (being in the cadets makes that easier)

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 21/01/2020 13:24

Put a backpack on her weighting in around 50kg (with all kit and radio etc it would likely weight more than this!) and ask her to go for a run for 2 hours.

Reference for this please?

I looked on Wiki and it's more like 25kg and they need to complete 8 miles in less than 2hrs - that's not running for 2hrs.

It's tough but doable. I really doubt they ask women to carry nearly their body weight and run for 2hrs.

ultrablue · 21/01/2020 13:25

22Brefugee

You may be in for a shock if you think that bad GCSEs will get you into the army (I could be wrong though). The selection tests are quite rigorous and the physical is robust. So if the Army is going to be Plan B she needs to research exactly what she needs to do (being in the cadets makes that easier)

I know someone who has a master's degree in maths applied to the armed forces and was told to get life experience etc before he reapplies

whatevenisababy · 21/01/2020 13:26

I’ve been in the army 6 years and never been anywhere even remotely dangerous (although I’m rlc not infantry). Why don’t you go to an army careers centre with her so you can both get a better idea of what’s involved.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 21/01/2020 13:28

Oh, more looking and I've found *"Under the new system soldiers will have to do a 4km march carrying 40kg of equipment in less than 40 minutes, followed by a 2km march carrying 25kg of equipment in under 15 minutes. Soldiers will then have to complete a fire and move exercise in less than five minutes, followed by a 20m drag of a 110kg weight.

They will then have to carry two water cans weighing 22kg each over 240m in under four minutes, followed by lifting a 70kg weight and holding it for three seconds. Finally soldiers will have to carry bags weighing 20kg 20 times over a distance of 30m.

Field Army Sergeant Major Gavin Paton was quoted as saying:

“I don’t care if you are a man or a woman, I don’t care what you do, and the enemy doesn’t either.”*

That's me out then!

hellsbellsmelons · 21/01/2020 13:30

I’ll take her to an army careers office and go through the options
Do that anyway.
I went through all of this with my DD.
She chose 2 options. Chef and driver.

Went to interview then it came to physical test and she had to declare that she had a brown inhaler!
That was the end of that.
I'm not sure she would have gone through with it any way.
There are so many careers and it's a great start for any teen.
Once she sees what she could choose from she will change her path.
Support her. I was so proud my DD wanted to do that.

BonnesVacances · 21/01/2020 13:32

Have a look at Uniformed Public Services at a college. She'll be able to 'try out' different services/ forces and will gain a better understanding about each. It's a 2 year course and is equivalent to 3 A levels, if she decides to go onto uni instead.

Original poster
Witchonastick · 21/01/2020 13:32

I’m so glad I posted this and I’m relived to hear she’s unlikely to get into infantry. Her fitness is fine but certainly not outstanding.

Thank you to those posters who’ve been there. It helps to hear of your experiences.

I’d be happy for her to look for alternative careers within the army. We shall have to see what the GCSE results bring.

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 21/01/2020 13:35

She could be a lawyer in the Army (or other Forces).

JJTWhite · 21/01/2020 13:45

My husbands parents stopped their son From joining the military aged 16 wanting to go to Harrogate and he went onto be a grafter, qualified in a couple of trades and well off job wise, BUT the army was what he always wanted and when he was 24 (we had a 2 year old) we both decided if he was to ever do it, it would be now. So here we are 5 years on, he is infantry and bloody hell the training was hard going.

I would support the chooses she is making now, it would have been much easy had my husband had gone in then rather than Later and despising the fact his parents did everything to turn him away from what he really wanted. they still didn’t like it when he did join but they’ve had to get over that fact.

Bluerussian · 21/01/2020 13:53

Witchonastick Tue 21-Jan-20 11:11:15
It’s not shame or lowly infantry I’m worried about. It’s her being sent to war zones and the risk of being injured or killed as part of a job!
........
Every parent's nightmare. I remember my cousin fretting when her youngest son was sent to Northern Ireland during the 'troubles'. There was something on the news every day.

However he is now a sixty two year old sergeant major and has really enjoyed his career to date.

Your daughter may do better in her GCSEs than anticipated so take things one step at a time.

Flowers
longestlurkerever · 21/01/2020 13:58

This thread is bizarre! The army is not risk free jollies around the world learning fabulous new skills, though that is how it's often presented to vulnerable young people. The UK is not at war with anyone?! Bollocks, you have no idea what conflict we may be involved in during this young woman's career. The stats for services personnel and later mental health/wellbeing are not great.

I get it's a worthwhile thing to do, but I'd be shitting myself if any of my family wanted to do it, ditto other worthwhile but dangerous careers eg war correspondent etc. I think that's normal?

Op I'd suggest taking her interest seriously and really explore what it is that appeals ti her and you might find that out of that come some new ideas about avenues to explore, in the armed services and beyond.

lowlandLucky · 21/01/2020 14:04

She would be better off the R.A.F,

CaptainCabinets · 21/01/2020 14:07

Has she thought about nursing within the armed forces? Amazing career, wish I could’ve been a Navy nurse but I’m asthmatic so they don’t want me! I’m a lowly NHS nurse instead Grin

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 21/01/2020 14:09

Absolutely amazing thing to do.

And to your DD, heartfelt thanks for doing this so that I don't have to. Because she's made of the proper stuff, it seems.

Please don't stop her Blush

Bloke23 · 21/01/2020 14:09

Infantry is very unlikely, i believe only 2 women have passed infantry training, not saying she cant of course

geekone · 21/01/2020 14:13

Honestly I think it is a great option. My DH was in the forces from 16 he is/was also a
Gobshite and he thrived you just learn when not to question.
I know I would be worried sick if my DS wanted to follow in his footsteps but I would suck it up.
This is interesting it shows what you need to practice to pass your fitness test to get into the army. The one in a PP I believe is what you have to complete to “pass out” (not faint Grin)

apply.army.mod.uk/how-to-join/can-i-join/fitness/physical-entry-standards