4 year old asking where do babies come from?

[8paws8legs]

Wasn't really sure where to put this so went for Aibu as always seems to get good answers.
So my 4 year old son has asked a few times now how mummies and daddies make babies, where they come from etc? It always seems to be at bedtime so have fobbed him off a bit and said we will talk about it tomorrow etc but what do I say? He has asked several times now so I need to give him an answer but not sure how to make it age appropriate???

Crying laughing at the original confusion of "paella" and "patella", then at the subsequent poster gently teasing that initial poster, then at another poster earnestly correcting the second poster's teasing because they hadn't understood that it was teasing...😂

For goodness sake, just answer questions with truth. What do you think the truth is going to do to them?

"For goodness sake, just answer questions with truth. What do you think the truth is going to do to them?"

I also don't get this.

I can only imagine that people who are unable to discuss this have a lot of shame around sex and genitals.

My midwife couldn't bring herself to say "vagina". She kept saying "between your legs" or "down there". Likewise when discussing induction, she handed me a list and one of the things to try was having sex. She went through each item, but when she got to "having sex", she just went "and you could try...this..."

Your entire job is about fannies and bonking but you can't talk about them??? It's madness.

From a safeguarding point of view, using euphemisms is dangerous too.

"Granddad put his tissue in my pocket" was a real life example I heard at my recent safeguarding training.

@DisinterestedParty I get the point you’re making and yes people have to have sex to get pregnant and need a midwife but that doesn’t mean their job is about fannies and bonking! I do agree a midwife should be able to say vagina/vulva but because that’s what it’s called, and not because it’s their place of work! (It isn’t. Lots of midwives don’t deliver babies or don’t just do that part)

@orangeslices

I was being facetious, I'm sure you get the overall point that to be a midwife, it probably helps if you can utter the words "sex" and "vagina".

Midwifery is a lot more connected to genitals & shagging than a lot of healthcare jobs even if they don’t directly deliver babies!

@DisinterestedParty Indeed which is why I made that exact point in my post!

I went with 'there is a special room inside a grown up women that grows a baby until it's time to get out.' when he asked how the baby for it there 'the mummy grows a seed and the daddy grows a seed and when you put both together, a baby starts to grow' how does it come out 'once the baby is big and strong enough, the mummy goes to hospital and they help the baby come out safely.'

@OrangeSlices998 I don't really get the point of your post then. Obviously I know what a midwife's job entails.

You said their job is about genitals and bonking - it isn’t. That’s the point of my post. I do agree we all as adult women should be able to call a vagina a vagina.

@Justanothernameonthepage that reminds me of this (which I love)

A bit baffled how my ‘special cuddles’ is being mocked. Back in the real world it’s quite a normal explanation FOR A FOUR YEAR OLD . The OP asked what other people say and that’s what I say? Only on MN is normal parenting ridiculed!!
And I’m also unsure how people are bringing being able to say Vagina and Sex and being a Midwife?
I’ve managed to complete my training being taught when I was young about special cuddles. It’s almost as if my parents kept things age appropriate and explained when I was older, hey.

@OrangeSlices998 do you often take things quite so literally?

@Pardonwhat because special cuddles sounds fucking ridiculous and twee and causes confusion. Just call it "having sex" like an adult.

What are you going to do when your four year old comes and tells you that uncle Johnny tried to have special cuddles with them?

@DisinterestedParty When the mood takes me/people make incorrect sweeping statements. HTH.

I’d just tell it how it is using simple language and anatomically correct terms .

DisinterestedParty

And how would that prevent uncle Johnny having sex with them? I’m struggling to see the link.
It can sound twee. They’re four.
Teaching children that their private parts are private is a whole separate discussion.

This is just pointless.

@OrangeSlices998 sounds like a laugh.

@Pardonwhat so that they can actually report what happens to them accurately?

Child: uncle Johnny showed me a video of two people having a special cuddle

Teacher dealing with 90 other things/children, hears "video" and "cuddle": that's nice, dear

or

Child: uncle Johnny showed me a video of two people having sex

Teacher: is able to take appropriate action

The same reason you teach your kid vulva, penis etc and not cookie, foofoo, hooha etc.

That's just the extreme as well. Why even bother with the twee shit? It just means you have to teach them twice. Do you have stupid cutesy made up names for other body parts and acts too? Do you talk about eating as "having a special nutriboost" or going to the toilet as "doing a naughty evacuation" or is it only sex that is so utterly disgusting that we have to clothe it in infantile language?

We've just answered questions honestly and age appropriately when asked, with the correct anatomical names for stuff as needed

DisinterestedParty

I call my vagina a Woo and I’ve managed ok. As well as professionally communicating with women about their genitals.
I think you’re taking problems and making them far too literal.

@pardonwhat

All safeguarding charities recommend the same thing. Using anatomically correct language and factual descriptions in order to keep children safe.

If you choose not to follow that, it's up to you, but you not having any issues does not mean your children won't. That's simple survivorship bias, akin to "there were no car seats in my day and I'm still alive."

Do you have stupid cutesy made up names for other body parts and acts too?

TBF yes ....but I did make sure my kids knew the correct words for things too.

I don't think it has to be 100% medically terms. I think some things can be easier to talk about if you use nicknames. 🤷🏻‍♀️

DisinterestedParty

That’s not what I’m saying at all. But ok.

@pardonwhat 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Not my fault if you can't explain what it is you want to say.