4 year old asking where do babies come from?

[8paws8legs]

Wasn't really sure where to put this so went for Aibu as always seems to get good answers.
So my 4 year old son has asked a few times now how mummies and daddies make babies, where they come from etc? It always seems to be at bedtime so have fobbed him off a bit and said we will talk about it tomorrow etc but what do I say? He has asked several times now so I need to give him an answer but not sure how to make it age appropriate???

DesLynamsMoustache

I don’t think children of four are going to stop asking how babies are made because you were vague when they were four. There are age-appropriate explanations that can be built upon.

“Remember when we said babies grow in Mummy’s tummy? Well, that’s true. They come out of Mummy’s vagina.”

“What’s a vagina?”

“It’s a hole near Mummy’s bum.”

Fine for a 6 year old? Not sure 4 year olds need to know, to be fair.

If/when it comes up I'm planning to go with something along the lines of "When a man and a lady decide they want to have a baby, they have a special cuddle and the man puts his willy in the ladys vagina. Then the sperm comes out of the willy and goes to mix with the egg in the tummy"

I think thats age appropriate?

Camomila

For a 4 year old?

But there are age-appropriate ways to answer this question so why wouldn't you just do that? Talking about eggs and seeds and the baby growing in the womb and coming out of the vagina is perfectly fine for a four-year-old.

I’m surprised how many people are happy to tell a 4 year old where willys go

My DM just told me the truth when I was 4 and that was in the 70s. It was a factual question, I thought it was partly fascinating and partly bonkers.

I was probably the most innocent child in the class as when all the other children learnt age 9-10 ish I had no idea why they were so obsessed about it or thought it was dirty/shameful.

Just get on with it and talk about penis and vagina.

But they want to know how did the baby start growing and how is the baby part of the daddy and if I say he put a seed in they will say how

Do they really? If you say Daddy put a cup in the dishwasher they don't ask how do they. I think if you tell a 4 year old child daddy gives a seed to mummy im not sure they do all imagine there's a complicated mechanism by which that occurs, I think that's often (not always, I know) adults overthinking it because we know there's more to it

“What’s a vagina?”

“It’s a hole near Mummy’s bum.”

Fine for a 6 year old? Not sure 4 year olds need to know, to be fair.

Of course 4 year olds need to know what a vagina is. That's so weird. They need to know what a vagina is the same as they need to know what a leg is

@Fullbookcase sorry but I snorted at "lift the flaps" 😂

I have always just answered (age appropriately but in correct terminology) the questions asked. The questions get more detailed over the years but mine knew the whole (basic) facts by the time they were six. Much easier to do it before they understand embarrassment.

mummy laid an egg
That's what we got. It explains it in seed/egg term. There is a page of potential ways daddy got the seed in.. so read it alone first maybe! We didnt.
DD occasionally pulls it out to ask another question but generally is satisfied with the answers.
She does still think my stomach exploded.. no matter how many times we explain that one!

years ago, over dinner my dm mentioned that 'so and so was having a baby', my 4 year old brother said, 'mummy, do you know where we come from'?, she started the 'when a man and a lady love each other' speech he shut her down with, 'nooo, not all that love stuff, we come from apes'

There's some helpful advice here about ages and stages.

raisingchildren.net.au/school-age/development/sexual-development/sex-education-children#4-5-years-what-to-say-about-sex-sexuality-and-bodies-nav-title

For 4/5 it says:

'Children aged 4-5 years often ask where babies come from. They can understand that a baby grows in a mother’s uterus, and that to make a baby you need a sperm (like a tiny seed) from a man and an ovum (like a tiny egg) from a woman.
If your child asks ‘Where do I come from?’ you could ask, ‘What do you think?’ This helps you work out what your child is really asking and how much he understands. You could give a simple explanation like ‘Babies grow in a place inside their mother called the uterus’.
If you’re pregnant your child might ask, ‘Where does the baby come out?’ Give a simple but accurate answer like ‘Your little sister is growing in my uterus. When she’s finished growing, she’ll squeeze through the birth canal, which is called the vagina’.

I might order that book 'where willy went' off amazon, see how they explain it. I have a habit of over-explaining!

DS is never satisfied with my answers to anything I find myself on wikipedia a lot looking up how jet engines or sewege pipes or digestion works. "Where babies come from?" I think is sort of the same for their age, they don't know it's 'rude'.

Mummy Laid an Egg is hilarious. A friend and I got it out of the library when we were like 10 and peed ourselves laughing at the pics. I still remember them on the space hopper

& of course four year olds need to know what vaginas are

My 3.5yo asked and I told him that daddy plants a seed inside mummy and the seed grows into a baby in her tummy until it's big enough to come out.

Was all I could think of off the top of my head

I think the reason "penis" and "vagina" sound odd to many of us is even as adults loads of people use slang terms etc. I dont really know anyone who refers to their "vagina". To me its a bit like referring to your paella instead of saying your kneecap, over formal.

We just say girl bits and boy bits in our house

Mine must have completely lacked curiosity, neither asked - school had a good programme taught in year 5

Ok I've so far fobbed him off as its bedtime hes asking to stall going to bed, and I wasn't sure how to explain age appropriately? He is definitely going to ask more questions than mummies and daddies love each other.
He knows about breastfeeding and periods and that women generally dont get periods when pregnant and that children dont have babies just grown ups and that ge has a penis like daddy and I and his sister dont so I'm pretty sure he's wanting to know the more descriptive version I will order one of the books and talk about it after school this week.

We have the Usborne 'Where Do Babies Come From?' book and it's been well read and understood by DD since she was 3. Now shes 4 and we have a baby on the way, she was more interested in the ultrasound scan picture ('it looks SO WEIRD!') than how the baby was actually made. She just knows that babies come from egg and sperm and is quite nonchalant about it. She has said that she thinks babies get farted out of your bum but I think that's more because 4 year olds think farts are hilarious rather than she believes it to be true

Nothing wrong with knowing the correct terms and using them. DD knows them but uses nicknames and that is her choice.

jolly at 4, it's age appropriate to stick to the biology. Do you think it's age appropriate to tell ridiculous lies about other bodily functions or shrug as if you don't know, or is it just reproduction?

'When we eat the food fairy comes and magics our tummies empty. And then when the toilet really loves us it makes a special wee wee come that naughty people call a poo'

No, of course not. It's only the reproductive system that people chat shit about.

Does the food fairy take the fat away too? I'd be behind that.

We said something along the lines of. Seed and an egg meet inside me and then the baby grows in my stomach and comes out of my hole (he calls it that because he was convinced I should have a willy or was going to grow one at some point in the future )
He asked because he had a book about the human body for his 4th birthday and it shows a sperm and an egg and the growing stages of a baby. He was happy with that.
I don't want him to be grossed out by things that are normal, he's seen my sanitary towel when I've been on my period and asked what it was, I told him ladies bleed every month when they are older but boys don't, and he didn't bat an eyelid

'Special cuddle'? Jesus Christ.

Just explain simply and age appropriately without treating your child like an idiot. Besides anything else, a four year old who feels fobbed off is a four year old who will keep asking.