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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Oh god! I swore I'd never post here, but really!

88 replies

MaureenMLove · 30/08/2007 17:19

DD is 11. She's just been shopping with a friend and her mum for a party they're going to tomorrow night. The party is the 13 year old cousin of said friend and lives in a flash house, lots of money etc.

Anyway, she's come back with a pair of, what can only be described as spray on black jeans and a top that barely comes passed her tummy. WTF was this mother thinking! Sadly, she came in all full of it and excited and I could not hide my disappointment when she put it on to show me. I did refrain from using that line 'You're not going out looking like that!'
The mother also told both of them, that they had to go to this party dressed up to the nines to 'bag a rich boy!'

Much stropping and sulking later I have managed to convince her that we will go out AGAIN tonight to find something more suitable.

Soooo, AIBU in thinking that 11 years olds should look like 11 year olds and not slappers?

OP posts:
AbRoller · 30/08/2007 17:23

you are definately NBU. I absolutely cannot stand seeing young girls, pre-teen especially, dressed like grown women. Good for you

HuwEdwards · 30/08/2007 17:24

'kin ell. You def did the right thing.

2shoes · 30/08/2007 17:25

YANBU

Lauriefairycake · 30/08/2007 17:25

So, she's wearing full length jeans and a top that covers her breast but shows her tummy

It could just be so much worse....

I wouldn't pick this battle (as its enough coverage for me) but you go right ahead of you want to.

Maybe its time to have the talk about 'tight' clothing and developing bodies

quint · 30/08/2007 17:28

You are NBU - Why do people think it looks so cute to see their children wearing adult type clothes, I personally find it disturbing.

Children should be children and dress appropriatley. I am not looking forward to that age with my 2DD's, but when we get there they can wear trendy but appropriate clothes for their age.

Good for you for sticking to your guns

aloha · 30/08/2007 17:30

I don't think jeans and a top sounds very shocking at all.

onlyWotz · 30/08/2007 17:30

Skinny black jeans are Ok with a longer floaty tunic top for 11 year olds. Just get a new top. Wear with flat pumps.

'bag a rich boy' is a bit out of order.

Lauriefairycake · 30/08/2007 17:30

BTW I'm way more pissed off with the 'bag a rich boy' comment.

What a shocking thing to encourage - on so many levels

smeeinit · 30/08/2007 17:31

YANBU,and who bought the clothes? you or her friends mum?
i hate hate hate seeing young pre teenage girls dressing like adults,its not a good look atall.

MaureenMLove · 30/08/2007 17:31

The mother just phoned to ask if I liked what they'd bought. Ooops! I said 'er, no actually. Its about time they realised they were 11 and not 16 year old tarts in tight jeans! {Mo watches a friendship fly out the window!}

OP posts:
smeeinit · 30/08/2007 17:32

i also 2nd what onlywotz says, a nice long tunic or floaty top will be nice with teh jeans.

aloha · 30/08/2007 17:32

Did you really say that? I think that's rather rude. Straight leg jeans are just fashionable. No more suggestive than flared ones. I assume your dd does wear jeans.
If you don't like it, that's your prerogative, but it's hardly high heels, a micro-mini and a 'porn star in training' t-shirt.

MaureenMLove · 30/08/2007 17:33

Actually Onlywotz. That is how I reasoned with her. I told her that both pieces are fine with other things. The top would look lovely with a nice pair of straight or bootcut jeans and the black jeans will look fine with a smocky top. I paid for them btw!

OP posts:
Lauriefairycake · 30/08/2007 17:34

Is there ANY chance you're pissed off becuase rich bitch bought stuff without your permission.

ANY chance at all that some of its about her ??

Not judging, just asking

Lauriefairycake · 30/08/2007 17:35

sorry, cross post, didnt realise youd paid for them

MaureenMLove · 30/08/2007 17:35

I did say that, yes. But if you knew what this mother wants for her daughter and how she dresses herself, it wouldn't sound quite so shocking, I can assure you!

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 30/08/2007 17:36

She not the rich one anyway. Its her relatives that are. She's just a high street shopper.

OP posts:
smeeinit · 30/08/2007 17:36

i dont think that was a rude thing to say atall aloha,maureen was asked if she liked what was bought and she answered honestly,id have thought it would have ruder of her to lie.

AbRoller · 30/08/2007 17:40

Not rude what you said, it was honest. The tunic with the jeans sounds good.

aloha · 30/08/2007 17:44

Absolutely not ruder to say, 'thanks for taking dd shopping. The jeans and top are nice and dd absolutely loves them. Think they might be a bit much -together though until she's nearer your daughter's age'.
If I'd taken a friend's daughter shopping all day and helped her buy what I thought was a nice outfit and I got that kind of reaction saying I'd bought them tarty clothes and just saying a flat 'no' to 'do you like them', then yes, I'd think it was very rude, I'm afraid.

MaureenMLove · 30/08/2007 17:45

Her daughter is the same age as mine.

OP posts:
smeeinit · 30/08/2007 17:45

i see your point aloha.

MaryAnnSingleton · 30/08/2007 17:46

YANBU not one bit !! I am appalled by clothes meant for 11 yr old girls - as for 'bag a rich boy' - vile

RedLorryYellowLorry · 30/08/2007 17:47

Well if you send dd out with Lily Savage and her daughter I don't see why you're shocked at the outfit. I'd have given some guidelines to the mother about what I hoped dd would come back with. I'm making a note never to take dd and her friend out shopping

MaureenMLove · 30/08/2007 17:48

Thing is aloha, its very difficult to give the whole background of anything discussed on here. I can't even explain how it was said and in what tone of voice! I appreciate your comments and I agree, it does sound very rude! But really, its water off a ducks back to her. I'm not really a rude person - honest!

OP posts: