Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be really fucked with inability to sleep at night

296 replies

Reallycantbefuckedtothink · 20/01/2020 05:26

Just that really, I have always suffered with insomnia but since after Christmas, it has gone up a whole new level.

I managed to fall asleep at around 11pm woke up at 11.15 wide a fucking awake and haven't been able to sleep since.

Its really fucking me up, time spent with DS and DP and to be able to do anything at all because I get so tired during the day.

OP posts:
NewYearsRevolution2020 · 24/01/2020 08:20

@NewName. I haven’t rtft but your last post sounded sad. Are you ok?Hmm

MurrayTheMonk · 24/01/2020 08:24

Me too. Have had i domains on and off since I was 17... weirdly the best I have ever slept was when the kids were babies-I had two close together and was exhausted and so slept when they slept, which was more than I normally would.
Currently in an especially charming phase of sleeping for an hour usually 10.30 to 11.30, then being wide awake until about 5, then being deep asleep until the alarm at half six.

It's really affecting my mental state-and my silty to concentrate at work.

Branleuse · 24/01/2020 08:27

Hrt has definitely helped me in many ways, although npt sure if its made any difference to sleep, as i smash myself out somehow now anyway with drugs

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 09:46

No idea why my message was removed, but it most certainly was not at my request @mnhq?

AIBU to be really fucked with inability to sleep at night
loobyloo1234 · 24/01/2020 09:51

My people Smile

I suffer on and off. Anxiety is definitely the trigger. I have just learnt to function on minimal sleep now. Occasionally Nytol and similar does seem to work. For some reason, if I change or have new bedding I manage to get a little more sleep that night aswell. And I leave the TV on in the background even on quiet, seems to make my mind wander to whats on rather than life's troubles (I know most people hate any lights being on when trying to sleep but it works for me)

Do kind of think I just need to live with it - but I feel everyone's pain

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 09:59

@AutumnRose1 I felt compelled to reply, as I know how upsetting and rage inducing heartless comments like that can be.

A lot of my physiotherapy is based around pilates, to strengthen my core, and in turn help me with my balance issues. I've never noticed a difference with my sleeping because of it, but it definitely helps my body. Grin

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 10:04

I actually feel like showing off now, because after 3 days of not sleeping, I actually managed to get 3 hours last night! I feel absolutely exhausted today though, I've been out of bed since 5am, I've cleaned the house and I'm making homemade bread, which should be ready in an hour, but all I want to do is try to get more sleep! (I won't though, hopefully I will still be exhausted tonight and I might sleep again then, fingers crossed).

AutumnRose1 · 24/01/2020 10:35

Retro glad you got 3 hours.

I have to workout otherwise I have so many problems but there’s a fine line. I can actually make myself too hyper to sleep especially in summer.

PatellarTendonitis · 24/01/2020 11:17

I was just trying to share an alternative approach to drugs which seems to be working for me.

And that's fine. Announcing to everyone that none of them ever needs medication to treat their condition because all they need is some psychobabble is not. No one consider making statements like that for other conditions. And personally, I would be very wary about any 'treatment' that doesn't allow participants to actually use the given name for that condition. That comes across as extremely unsound practice to me and so no 'therapy' like that would work for me because I'd stop as soon as that line came out. Just substitute that for anything else and it's alarming, honestly, just imagine it - you don't have diabetes you just have pancreatic subfunction; you don't have cancer you have an immune system malfunction; you're not gay you just have opposite sex sexual adversion, etc.

SecretWitch · 24/01/2020 11:38

I have had insomnia since age 17. I am currently prescribed trazadone, which helps a bit. I still supplement with melatonin and marijuana edibles ( legal in my state)

I find that I get more tired towards dawn and can often fall into a deep sleep but who gets to sleep in until 11 am?

Honestly, I look forward to trips to Mexico where I can get Valium.

DustyMaiden · 24/01/2020 11:44

I go to bed at two or three and sleep to 11. D.C. have gone to uni. It’s not a good way to be.

I have had considerable success by not bothering to try to go to sleep, just get comfortable in bed and listen to an audible book, something pleasant. I always fall asleep.

NewName73 · 24/01/2020 12:32

@retroflex I asked MN to remove my post, and yours because it quoted it, as I realised it was badly worded and was upsetting some people, and I did not want to upset anyone else.

@NewYears, I'm fine now, thanks for asking though. Much appreciated. Just felt a bit overwhelmed this morning.

NewName73 · 24/01/2020 12:38

Patellar that's why I asked MN to delete my post, it was badly worded. And I have apologised.

But the programme I am following is not psychobabble, it's based on recognised & proven psychotherapy techniques, and more importantly, after a lifetime of struggling with lack of sleep, it seems to be working for me.

Although my biggest problem is event-induced sleeplessness, and I have not had a chance to put this to the test yet, as work has been relatively quiet for the past 2 months.

Shockers · 24/01/2020 12:48

I’m waiting for the results of a sleep test, as I’m just constantly so tired. I noticed that I sleep better whilst doing the test, and I think it’s because the pack is heavy on my chest. I’ve ordered a weighted blanket so see whether that makes a difference. I can only have the lighter one because I have arthritis and I need to shift position from time to time. I’m also using audiobooks to actually get to sleep. Stephen Fry’s voice helps!

I think sleep might come from a variety of different strategies, including medication. I’m personally trying to avoid that because I’m already on pain relief medication for my arthritis, but everyone is different. Yoga did actually help me, but I can’t do it at the moment. I’m having hip replacement surgery next week.

When the pain is really bad, I do take Amitriptyline, but it gives me terrible reflux.

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 12:49

@newname73 "@retroflex I asked MN to remove my post, and yours because it quoted it, as I realised it was badly worded and was upsetting some people, and I did not want to upset anyone else."

Well I personally don't think you had the right to have my comment removed, I quoted part of your comment, but everyone saw your post saying that NOBODY NEEDS MEDICATION for insomnia, followed by another comment whereby if they were sick enough in your opinion, then it was the exception. I don't believe anyone would be upset by my reply to you! And you know it, but it suits you personally to have all traces of your opinion removed... Go figure! HmmAngryBiscuit

PatellarTendonitis · 24/01/2020 12:55

Honestly, I look forward to trips to Mexico where I can get Valium.

You can get z drugs there more readily, too, if you pay to see a doctor.

People really bang a gong about z drugs and how awful and addictive they are, but no one bats an eyelid at the increasing numbers of people prescribed ADs (even for menopause) long term and if you see any mental health thread where someone is asking about quitting their AD the responses regarding risks, side effects etc of withdrawal are legion. And often the poster is wanting to quit or change due to the drug's becoming ineffective. How is that any different from drugs used to treat insomnia? Why is it seen as better for someone to be taking a drug like mirtazapine, which is also marketed as an appetite stimulant and makes a not insignificant number of people gain a not insignificant amount of weight, than 3.5mg of zop because they're not depressed but insomniac?

Methinks in a couple of years, these ADs will become the next target of NHS cost-cutting hate campaign - oh, no, can't be prescribing all that!

NewName73 · 24/01/2020 13:09

@Retroflex

I made a mistake, I apologised for it, and took steps to rectify it.

Apparently that's not good enough for you.

Have you never said anything hastily and regretted it afterwards?

You are also misquoting me. I never said "in my opinion" or "the exception" and that post is still there if anyone wants to read it?

TheQuestionSpottingMedic · 24/01/2020 13:52

Sorry, guys - this is long!

I am 49 and have suffered from insomnia for 5 years. Night after night I had no problem falling asleep but was waking any time between 2 and 3 and then being awake until 5ish with my mind racing. Lack of sleep was impacting on my desire to exercise, my dietary choices (resulting in weight gain) and my ability to remember faces/ meeting new people and facts and figures. My grandmother had died of dementia in her 70s and I knew that sleep was a vital protector against developing the disease. I was also eager to return to work after a career break. I knew that I would need to get to the root of the problem if I was to stand any chance of having the "head-space" to return to work in a demanding job.

Over the past 5 years, a variety of different GPs at my local practice have sent me for repeated blood tests to establish whether I am menopausal or peri-menopausal. All came back negative, even when I began suffering from night sweats and hair loss. As a result, I was repeatedly asked whether I was depressed to which I replied " No, but I am a bit sad about not being able to sleep for more than 5 hours a night every night." It would, however, have been very easy to have ended up with a repeat prescription for anti-depressants.

In November, I saw a new GP who advised me that the results of the blood tests can be skewed by any contraceptives you may be taking. Why none of the other GPs I had seen in the intervening 5 years knew this, God alone knows - how many peri-menopausal women are likely to be taking contraceptives?!! (If you look at this article www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jan/20/ignorance-menopause-lives-women-information-symptoms it refers to the menopause not being a compulsory area of study for doctors - brilliant! )

I therefore stopped taking my progesterone only pill at the beginning of December. A blood test I had done two weeks later came back normal again but, when I had not had a period some 5 weeks later, I asked to be tested again and the new GP rang to advise that the results indicated I was MENOPAUSAL (i.e. I had past through the entire peri-menopausal stage during the 5 years I have not been sleeping without being prescribed HRT.)

I am now on day 4 of my HRT and I slept until 6am this morning (even after being out drinking at a friend's birthday celebration last night - I have not done that in years).

Nevertheless I am furious - I am never going to get those 5 years back again. My three children only remember me as a grumpy old moo and I did not have the head space to return to work and so I have missed out financially too.

How many other women, who have experienced what I have, have had the same repeated, pointless blood tests and appointments at a cost to the NHS?

How many women are on pointless repeat prescriptions (for anti-depressants and/ or contraceptives) that are not getting to the root of their menopause symptoms and are needlessly costing the NHS vast amounts of money?

How many women are being denied the opportunity to reach their full economic potential by such a fundamental failure in diagnosing menopause? With so many women now in the work place full time, the NHS and UK plc need to get to grips with this ASAP.

If you are around 40 and have started waking at 2/3 am and not being able to return to sleep, this is a recognised symptom for being peri-menopausal or menopausal. Insist on a blood test that is unskewed by any contraceptives that you may be taking (i.e. allow about a month for the contraceptives to leave your system). Even if the results come back "normal" at least you will have ruled out a possible cause for your insomnia.

Rant now over. Wishing everyone a solution for their insomnia, whether in pill form or not.

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 14:36

@newname73 "and that post is still there if anyone wants to read it?"

And yet my post, in which I stated that it was your opinion that people didn't need medication and that if you deemed people sick enough then that was the exception, has been removed at your request! That is not good enough for me, as you have removed my comments which were perfectly valid, which undoubtedly you didn't like, but my opinion was shared by many people on here! That "step to rectify it" to erase it, serves no other function than to make you feel better.

Words are extremely hurtful, and how dare you, a random person on the internet, proclaim to know more than healthcare professionals? To tell people what they need and don't need?

I honestly believe that you should think very carefully about what you want to say, and take into consideration that there are some very vulnerable people who use Mumsnet. It's supposed to be for "support", and none of your statements were delivered in a particularly supportive way.

Of course people will say something which they regret, but saying I'm sorry, and meaning it, perhaps explaining why you felt the need to say it in the first place, would be received a lot better than trying to pretend it didn't happen!

Had you not removed my post, we wouldn't be having this conversation now it's just added fuel to the fire, and backfired on your intent.

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 14:46

Oh and as for "that post is still there if anyone wants to read it?"

NO, that post where you said that nobody needs medication to sleep, etc, was withdrawn at your request... Hmm

NewYearsRevolution2020 · 24/01/2020 16:48

@Retroflex you need to lay off New. She has apologised. Leave it be.

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 17:23

@newyear I have said everything I intended to say, over 2 and a half hours ago... I have absolutely no idea why you feel the need to insert yourself now? Other than looking for drama... Hmm

Retroflex · 24/01/2020 17:26

Plus of course, she isn't sorry for having my comment removed, which as I stated was the only reason we were conversing today... Or are your reading skills limited?

NewYearsRevolution2020 · 24/01/2020 19:05

@Retroflex I suspect you are the only one looking for drama.

MissSmith1 · 24/01/2020 20:14

@TheQuestionSpottingMedic that is very interesting. Sorry you had to suffer for so long.

Swipe left for the next trending thread