Holiday going wrong?

[Straightomyhead]

So I'm on a holiday, long haul type, with someone who I've been friends with for quite a while, but our first time away together. Was really looking forward to it until we got here.

When we arrived we needed to pay a £100 deposit on our apartment, which we be refunded and the £12each for the taxi transfer. (I've converted the currently to pounds for ease) Turns out she only brought £12 in the currency with her! So I paid the deposit. She has taken out a small about of cash since but of course it keeps running out meaning I have to pay. (Today she mentioned she had no money after ordering lunch from a beach shack and would need to pay on card. Of course they wouldn't take card)

She also put in no planning for what we are doing, how to get around or any of the language. And just keeps saying for me to do it. Today she had data switched on on her phone and I didn't and still asked me to do it. Eg. Work out the bus route.

I don't know what to do. She now owes me around £70 in the currency. I don't want to lose this friendship but don't want to ruin the holiday.

andy I think you need to do more research on this thread before you comment

@RuggerHug - sorry missed the update from the OP doing some research

@EKGEMS - absolutely!

That picture looks like you're vacationing in paradise! Enjoy the remainder of your holiday. Your mother sounds fabulous

You definitely get her to pay back the deposit as well or you'll be left with pesos on your ok day day

Did you arrange all the holiday?
Perhaps she is feeling a bit overwhelmed?
Perhaps she normally goes all inclusive?
Don’t let it ruin your holiday or your friendship but stop with the lending
If she thought she could buy all on card it means she has the cash in the bank to pay you back

Could you get her to go to a bank or use her switch card for cash? Maybe suggest rather than paying you back she just pays for dinner on her card (and make sure wherever you go takes cards). As for planning/directions - that would not really bother me so I don't know what to suggest.

I find it reckless to go anywhere abroad and not take cash and card. You should have both for all eventualities surely? Maybe she could afford the cost of the holiday but not the spends and was hoping to put some of it in credit, who knows?

Enjoy your holiday it sounds like you really deserve it.

YANBU...She's not called Shona by any chance? (She's not on here so I can name!). I had a 'friend' just like this. Not ditsy at all but with a trait of always 'accidentally' going out without a working card or on holiday without currency. Also, always really skint one minute to the point where she can't even buy a round, then off on expensive far-flung holidays and buying furniture the next. Some people are takers in life and they're not worth bothering with. I'd be mortified if a friend had to lend me money as I was unorganised, and I'd pay then back immediately! I severed ties with my taker friend, best thing I ever did.

Wow shes taking the piss, I have great knowledge of these cf! In the end every time we went out I played them at there own game but it required holding a pokee face and holding your ground, just before we ho to said restaurant say oh I thought I'd mention I've only got enough cash on me for my meal and the debit card is missing or left at apartment, if they start flapping say well then that's silly now let's go for lunch, they will sharp stop it! Even if you are sat eating your meal whilst said freind watches sadly whilst you chow down, you have to he tough. My cf sil used to order a shit load of food etc for a family of four at a posh rural pub and say just as it came oh I've only got £25 on us so tough shit if it costs more knowing fine well it fucking would they pulled this shit every time. My mother used to take us shopping so I'd pay her £20 fuel, she new it was pay day and would say oh I forgot my debit card can I just get a few items and il sort you out later? Me yes no problem, £70 later this happens every pay day which we never got paid back but I was 20 and gullible and frightened of asking so eventually I said now mum I only have £60 cash so I cant help you out, she sharp started remember her debit card, she wasn't short of money she had her cards cut up for overspending and didn't want to change her habits.

Sounds like she doesn’t have any money and didn’t want to let you down by not coming

With people like this the best thing to do BEFORE going somewhere or ordering in a restaurant, is to ask them if they've got money/card on them.

Also she says she feeling ill today so I've ventured out on my own as she wants to sit my the pool.

Probably because she’s skint and can’t actually afford to go anywhere. My guess is she’ll be “by the pool” for the remainder of your holiday now she knows you’re not going to sub her anymore. Although I wouldn’t put it past her to give it one more try.

You live and learn OP. Glad you got most of your money back

It sounds to me like she is skint and was planning on paying for everything with her credit card and is now a bit flummoxed. Definitely don't sub her anymore, but personally if try not to think to badly of her, she is definitely guilty of not doing enough planning and research but may not have realised she couldn't use her card.

I went on a holiday years ago with a work friend. I thought we had planned it really well in advance plus we had both agreed that it was supposed to be a luxury, pampering holiday, because we had both had a really bad year and were earning enough money to treat ourselves.

On our first day in Florida my “friend” announced that

A). He had “forgotten” to bring his driving license - on a driving holiday right through Florida, down to The Keys - and he “hoped it would be ok if I did all the driving this time?!” 😳

B). He suddenly wanted to share bedrooms “as it was cheaper” - we were NOT a couple and certainly not close enough friends to do that!

C). He had.... wait for it.... $100... - for THE WHOLE WEEK!!! This was to cover food, drinks, hotels, Disneyland, Universal Studios, car hire and petrol etc - for our LUXURY holiday!

This all came out on our first day there, in Disneyworld. I had flown half-way across the world to meet him there and he wasn’t a stupid man so it was an absolute PISS-take! I therefore told him straight away that we obviously wanted different holidays, I wasn’t there to stay in youth hostels and eat McDonalds and we should part ways that day. I went back to the hotel that night, got onto the travel firms, and got an amazing 5 day all-inclusive cruise round the Caribbean from Miami. The joke was firmly on him because I had a huge triple cabin to myself, had an incredible time, and, because I booked it 7 hours before the ship sailed, the whole trip cost me only $125!!!

In other words, ditch the silly cow and go have an adventure on your own too! Xxx

Sounds amazing luckylorca!

Did your colleague have a nice holiday?

So we've had a long nice day on a tour all prepaid for today.

She keeps talking about coming back and what she would do differently next time. As we are still here for a day more days, I said she is welcome to plan a day or do it on her own (one is a diving thing which I'm not keen on). But it's a no and she going to come back and stay on a bigger place and do all this stuff.

I've started the nodding along and no allowing her to not pay but just looked at her which has worked well.

Whoever said did I plan the trip.i attempted several times to plan together but when looking for exact ideas it never materialised. So took a bit of the lead.

I'm going to continue this for the rest of the week and just not go away together again.

Also to all those who have similar stories, i am sorry, but glad it's happened too others too.

@luckylorca, how did the friend react when you both got back to work?

straighttomyhead good woman, stand firm. She's probably expecting you to offer to pay for those things since you're there but just keep nodding along saying 'how lovely' or whatever you have been doing

Many years ago I went to France with my then fiance. We were there for 2 weeks at a Eurocamp site. I'd paid for the accommodation and ferry and had organised everything. Got there and he had no francs (yeah, it was before the Euro!), thought that was odd but he eventually went off and drew £50 worth out. At the end of the two weeks, he still had half of his cash left (and he hadn't used a credit card)! The only thing he paid for was some beers for himself. I paid for all of our food, trips out, petrol etc! He didn't even buy his two daughters a present until we were on the ferry home. Yes, I still went on to marry him and have a child with him. I saw the light when she was very small and got out though (his tightfistedness was actually one of his better traits).

Went away for a weekend with an ex, as we got off the ferry he announced he had £3 to his name!

We were also meant to hire a car (I couldn’t drive) he didn’t bring his licence 🙄. We had to get tacos bank and forth and it cost an absolute bomb.

Taxis not tacos

For @ Smelborp and @Equanimitas:

In answer to your questions: I never saw or contacted my ‘friend’ again after that holiday! Mine, as I mentioned above, was incredible. I met lovely people on the ship, went to Jamaica, saw amazing shows, swam with manta-rays in Gran Cayman, doubled my body weight by eating at the on-board sushi bar (and at the midnight dinner sitting!) every single day etc. (All for that amazingly, ridiculously, low price).... As for him... I’m not sure what he managed to do that week on his enormous budget of $100!! 😂

At the time we went on holiday, my friend and I were actually living and working in different countries (after both working together in London originally), so it worked out fine when we went our separate ways on day one in Florida. I was actually glad (and a bit surprised at myself!) that I nipped it in the bud straight away, without even having a fight, rather than letting the whole week turn sour slowly.... I did bump into him back in our head office in London a few years later though, but we just passed each other in the corridor in bemused silence and that was that.

(#StrangeOldWorld!...)

I am glad you got rid of him. What an idiot! I do wonder a bit what he did for the week though...