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Original poster

Holiday going wrong?

164 replies

Straightomyhead · 20/01/2020 02:00

So I'm on a holiday, long haul type, with someone who I've been friends with for quite a while, but our first time away together. Was really looking forward to it until we got here.

When we arrived we needed to pay a £100 deposit on our apartment, which we be refunded and the £12each for the taxi transfer. (I've converted the currently to pounds for ease) Turns out she only brought £12 in the currency with her! So I paid the deposit. She has taken out a small about of cash since but of course it keeps running out meaning I have to pay. (Today she mentioned she had no money after ordering lunch from a beach shack and would need to pay on card. Of course they wouldn't take card)

She also put in no planning for what we are doing, how to get around or any of the language. And just keeps saying for me to do it. Today she had data switched on on her phone and I didn't and still asked me to do it. Eg. Work out the bus route.

I don't know what to do. She now owes me around £70 in the currency. I don't want to lose this friendship but don't want to ruin the holiday.

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 20/01/2020 07:21

Ah that's unfortunate!
Hopefully you can get it all sorted in the morning.

Remind her she'll need taxi fare back to the airport too!

SnuggyBuggy · 20/01/2020 07:28

You need to start saying no to her.

caulkheaded · 20/01/2020 07:40

We have an agreement on holidays that anyone pays for everything ie one person lunch, someone else food shop, someone else dinner, all keep the receipts (or card screen shots of payments) then add it into a spreadsheet when we go home and it’s split that way.

Do you have any record of what you’ve paid for her or is it a mental note?

BoomBoomsCousin · 20/01/2020 07:41

If she travels a lot in Europe/North America and only there and Didn’t do any reading on where you are I can kind of see why she assumed she’d be fine with a tiny bit of currency and a card.

This evening sit her down and tell her you need to do a bit of mid-trip prepping because you’ve spent all your local currency subbing her and, as she can now see, it’s something you need in this country. So first item on the agenda tomorrow needs to be bank (or whatever) to get local currency for both of you.

loutypips · 20/01/2020 07:42

Work out roughy what you're spending on food each day, and put half each in a kitty for food. Tell her you need £xx for the next three days plus what she owes you since you got there.

From past experience, I'd say it's probably a bit of cf-ery going on as had something similar.
Went on holiday with another family and they took £400 for a fortnight, spent it all on crap in the first couple of days then asked to borrow enough to cover them for the rest of the holiday.

GU24Mum · 20/01/2020 07:43

I went on holiday with a friend like this so I feel for you!

We'd been with them as a family the year before and they were incredibly tight and we ended up paying for most things as it was just easier though we seethed by the end of the holiday. They wouldn't pay us back in Euros while we were away and we'd also had to chase them to pay the apartment share before we went as it was on my credit card.

A smaller group of us went the next year and the friend only took out a far too small amount in Euros. In the end I had to take out only what I needed when we went out else I'd have kept having to sub her. Nice people generally but definitely never going away with them again!

fedup21 · 20/01/2020 07:43

She sounds like a total chancer!

Lipperfromchipper · 20/01/2020 07:48

Get on the internet somehow, phone, hotel, Internet cafe etc and get her to do a transfer for the amount she owes and then some extra to your account and take the money out of the bank machine over there. Where exactly are you???

Cam77 · 20/01/2020 07:49

The ATMs won’t dispense cash in the local currency? Sounds odd. Anyway, my advice would be to stop all the sightseeing, stop eating, stop shopping, basically everything. Your mission is to deliver your friend to somewhere she can finally get money and then for her to withdraw a lot of it, pay you back in full and THEN you can get on with your holiday. (Hopefully have a good one)

adag · 20/01/2020 07:50

Can you just agree to keep a tally and sort when you get home? That's what we normally do when we go on holiday with friends....

Cam77 · 20/01/2020 07:54

She has taken out a small about of cash since but of course it keeps running out meaning I have to pay
Explain to her in simple words that on holiday it is ALWAYS a good idea to have a decent amount of cash with you, even if you leave some of it back at the hotel/apartment.

Likethebattle · 20/01/2020 07:56

She’s taking you for a fool. I used to have a friend like this....she’s kept at arms length now.

Cam77 · 20/01/2020 07:57

@adag
Sounds like a real buzz kill. Why not just pay your own ways? Doesn’t have to be exact, Eg I paid for pizza today, you get it tomorrow. I got last round/taxi fare, this one’s yours.

Original poster
Straightomyhead · 20/01/2020 07:58

We are México so us dollars are used in some places but it's not ideal and they give you a worse exchange rate.

@adag Not happy for her to pay me back when we get back and it would mean waiting for the money and also the holiday costing me twice as much until then. I brought out here cash daily enough for each day. I saved up for this holiday for the past few months and don't want to go into my savings for someone else.

Plus we started taking in turns for meals, but on her turn if they don't take card she looks to me to help.

Tomorrow morning it's straight to the bus station where I know there is an atm that works for her, for my money. Im tempted to travel on my own a bit more just cause I know I'll be safer that way

OP posts:
airbags · 20/01/2020 07:58

You mention the exchange rate when withdrawing currency out there. By her not having the money this means as you run out of money ( as subsidising her) and have to take out cash for yourself that this is also affecting the cost for you. Make it clear, you owe me X and need money for the next x days and tell her you're not her cash machine.

I did this for a friend many years ago - lent her the money for the holiday. Got out there and she couldn't withdraw cash so I lent her a further £300. Never saw a single penny of it!

Fact is, if this carries on it affects the friendship and future plans - might as well clear the air, get your money and hopefully move in the right direction for the rest of the holiday.

RuggerHug · 20/01/2020 08:06

Honestly, stop subbing her. Plan for her money to be spent first, breakfast, bus tickets, whatever. She doesn't get tickets, you can't go anywhere. She doesn't have cash for food, you can't eat until she finds an atm. You plan on getting cash before you go to lunch, it's on her before then. Paddington bear stare and 'well how had you planned paying friend, I can't help you now'. Play as helpless and stupid as she is because it is an act.

PineappleDanish · 20/01/2020 08:07

We have been to the part of Mexico I'm assuming you're in and it's WAY behind the UK in terms of card use. Of course the big hotels and restaurants in Cancun or Playa del Carmen will take cards, but small shops and bars most definitely won't. Cash is king.

On the dollars thing - the first time we went in the 90s, everyone wanted US dollars and we didn't spend pesos at all. We were back about 5 years ago and they had enacted a new law to heavily tax/fine businesses changing lots of dollars into local currency as the central government wants them using pesos. So many businesses are still accepting US currency, but offer a far less attractive rate to take into account the fines/tax.

I agree OP that all you can do is lay it out that she really needs to get enough cash out to last the rest of your break. Either in US dollars and then go to a bureau de change, or in pesos.

Brefugee · 20/01/2020 08:07

blimey - get her to give you the cash she owes you and then tell her that from now on you will each only pay for yourselves. No "oh i'll pay for lunch you pay for taxi" nonsense, because you know it won't happen.

Worst case: split up for the rest of the holiday...

Original poster
Straightomyhead · 20/01/2020 08:13

@PineappleDanish Thanks for understanding and it's exactly what I keep trying to explain. Cash is the way forward. A few places wanting US dollars but not many. And mostly at a much worse rate.

We've booked chitchen Itza for Tuesday but tempted to split for the rest of the week.

OP posts:
Buggedandconfused · 20/01/2020 08:14

First of all, you need to take control of this situation before it gets out of hand and you are out of pocket. You must be firm and tell her she needs to get to an ATM and take cash out. If you have enough to cover you both, tell her you will IF and ONLY IF she makes a bank transfer to you today to cover this.

TinDogTavern · 20/01/2020 08:14

At the ATM she needs to get out everything she owes you so far, including the apartment deposit (she can get it back when you get yours back, don't see why it should just be you that waits). Work our roughly what she needs for the rest of the break for joint stuff (meals, travel, anything you'll both be doing) and she needs to get that out too. Put that in a kitty, and you put in the same. You run the kitty - so you're still 'responsible' for paying but at least it's not all your money.

If she wants anything else like gifts it's on her to find the means to pay.

MzHz · 20/01/2020 08:19

How long have you been there already?

If she had an issue on day 1 with places not accepting cards, a sensible person would get cash out to last and make sure she didn’t run out again.

I think the holiday is ruined for you already tbh and this will affect your friendship somewhat going forward unless it’s dealt with now and resolved now.

I think it’s an idea to sit her down and say “friend, for x number of days you’ve known that places take cash only, by not getting enough cash out for you and for the activity we’re doing, you’re expecting me to spend my money that I’ve allocated for my own expenses. You’re a valued friend, someone I care about a great deal, but this is going to ruin our friendship if you carry on like this”

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/01/2020 08:22

Go to a bank not just an ATM

queenrollo · 20/01/2020 08:23

I did a very short break to a UK city with a friend who had not done one bit of research or prep for the trip. I had to get us from the central train station to our accomodation (which I booked). From there to our event (slightly out of the way but still on public transport) and then back to the accomodation after. That required a taxi which I had to source and pay for.
They faffed so much the next morning I nearly missed my train, but they didn't feel confident to get themselves back to the station alone for their later train.
It was exhausting and marred a rare weekend away for me. It was like I swapped my sulky but capable teenager for an sulky incapable 40 year old teenager.
So on that score you have my total sympathy.

Whitney168 · 20/01/2020 08:41

Bit simplistic to say just don't sub her any more when you're on holiday with someone.

I wonder if the issue is that she's skint until payday with a maxed out credit card? - cards on the table time, I think, at least work out what the issue is and then you can decide how to address it.

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