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AIBU?

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Original poster

Holiday going wrong?

164 replies

Straightomyhead · 20/01/2020 02:00

So I'm on a holiday, long haul type, with someone who I've been friends with for quite a while, but our first time away together. Was really looking forward to it until we got here.

When we arrived we needed to pay a £100 deposit on our apartment, which we be refunded and the £12each for the taxi transfer. (I've converted the currently to pounds for ease) Turns out she only brought £12 in the currency with her! So I paid the deposit. She has taken out a small about of cash since but of course it keeps running out meaning I have to pay. (Today she mentioned she had no money after ordering lunch from a beach shack and would need to pay on card. Of course they wouldn't take card)

She also put in no planning for what we are doing, how to get around or any of the language. And just keeps saying for me to do it. Today she had data switched on on her phone and I didn't and still asked me to do it. Eg. Work out the bus route.

I don't know what to do. She now owes me around £70 in the currency. I don't want to lose this friendship but don't want to ruin the holiday.

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 20/01/2020 11:42

Stand over her at the ATM until she hands you exactly what she owes you - to include deposit, all food you have paid for her and any other extras. Then she can take out what she'll need for herself for the coming days.

Original poster
Straightomyhead · 20/01/2020 15:44

To update, she transfered me what she owes me (minus her half of the deposit) this morning. So I can go to an atm somewhere now I'm out. I'll just get the deposit back at the end of the week.

Also she says she feeling ill today so I've ventured out on my own as she wants to sit my the pool. Back to my normal solo travelling so has worked out well so far.

Thanks for the advice, I think my too the point helped this morning.

OP posts:
RuggerHug · 20/01/2020 16:01

Least it's not a hotel and she can't charge her lunches to the room when you're out! Good result OP but why did she not send the deposit aswell?

Original poster
Straightomyhead · 20/01/2020 16:13

@RuggerHug Claims not to be able to afford. At least I will get the 2000 pesos back on Friday. Means I will just change them back, when I'm back in the uk.

And yep, no lunches or anything etc.

OP posts:
cstaff · 20/01/2020 16:24

Who goes on holidays with no money for food, drink etc. That is crazy. Was she depending on you for all her transport costs, deposit etc. If anything I would bring more than needed for emergency.

fedup21 · 20/01/2020 16:28

If she can’t afford to give you the deposit, how is she going to be able to afford the rest of the holiday?!

What if you or her break something? It’ll be you losing YOUR money-not her!

AwesomeSauce4 · 20/01/2020 16:30

Didn't it say anything when you booked regarding paying a sundries deposit? Did she see that/ignore it/hope it would go away?

RuggerHug · 20/01/2020 16:30

So she could never afford it or planned paying you on time? Wow. Did you ask her what she planned on doing since she hadn't any money to see if she admits 'having you just pay'. Honestly I'd be fuming at that 'can't afford it'.

Drum2018 · 20/01/2020 16:30

Just make sure if the deposit is short that she pays half the difference. CF expecting that you'll just cover it. What if you didn't have enough either? Lesson learned - don't holiday with her again!

Drum2018 · 20/01/2020 16:31

Just to be sure - have you checked your bank account to see that the money she transferred is there??

Kwkwjwkek · 20/01/2020 16:33

I think you should’ve planned your holiday together before you went. What places you were going to visit and how you were going to get there etc. You can’t just go to a foreign country without any research.

I would stopping paying for her things.

BarbaraofSeville · 20/01/2020 16:34

What would she have done if you only had money available for your own costs?

Plenty of people can afford to pay their own expenses, but don't have enough spare to cover someone else's too, not that they should be expected to of course.

ChippyTea16 · 20/01/2020 16:37

OP I’ve never been to Mexico but is there an exit fee you need to pay in cash when you leave? If so might be worth telling her she needs to have the cash ready for that so you don’t get stuck (not sure if this is a think just vaguely remember reading about it somewhere). Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Arthritica · 20/01/2020 16:40

Have a wonderful rest of your holiday!

PineappleDanish · 20/01/2020 16:42

OP I’ve never been to Mexico but is there an exit fee you need to pay in cash when you leave?

There was when we were there. The tour operator paid it for the whole flight so it was rolled into the cost of the holiday for us, but not all airlines do this. It is apparently 1160 pesos per person.

feesh · 20/01/2020 16:50

Yes - definitely check your bank account! And are there loads of positive reviews for this place saying people got their deposits back?

BoomBoomsCousin · 20/01/2020 16:53

If it’s Airbnb they aren’t supposed to ask for a cash deposit (too many dodgy guests and hosts lying about what’s been handed over etc.) so that may be a scam. Make sure she agrees to reimburse you for half of any losses you incur (which should really include any transaction fees changing the pesos back after the holiday - though that may be so small an amount as to seem petty to you).

Lulualla · 20/01/2020 16:55

It sounds like she kind of planned this and assumed you would just roll over. She hasn't brought any money with her, and at this point she knows she cannot use her card. I'm guessing she knew that before she got there.
She just doesn't actually have the money and simply planned to get you to pay for everything. Shes admitted she cant afford the deposit, which she would have known about before going. She is on a holiday she cant afford so is just staying by the pool

Puzzledandpissedoff · 20/01/2020 17:00

Claims not to be able to afford (Her half of the deposit)

Oh hell, I was afraid you'd say that Hmm

So what are you going to do when meals are needed and she claims to have run out again? Does she have anyone back in the UK she can touch for a cash transfer?

Catrin70 · 20/01/2020 17:08

I think it's a risk going on holiday with a friend even a close friend. I had a bad experience and it sort of ended our friendship and it was mostly over her being so mean. We agreed to have a kitty to pay for food and on the first night I paid out of the kitty and gave a 5 euro tip and she was grumbling that I gave too much for a tip. I was really surprised as I'd known her a long time and I'd never noticed her being mean, When she paid out of the kitty she calculated how much the trip should be based on the price of the meal.

One night I only had the kitty with me and saw some flipflops I wanted and were 8 euro and told her I'd pay back the money to the kitty and ever evening she would remind me about this 8 euro and that really pissed me off, so in the end I put in 10 and she said that was too much, so I said "well I can't be bothered" and we barely spoke that evening. I felt very sad as I knew this would end our friendship. There were other instances and at the end of the holiday she was counting what was in the kitty and told me my share (it wasn't much) it was maybe churlish but I said "oh you have it - !'m not bothered" so she did after asking me if I was I was sure. !!!

I never thought to talk about money before we left and I never felt the same about her again and we drifted apart.

sonjadog · 20/01/2020 17:16

I would imagine she will be beside the pool for the rest of the week. She doesn't have the money to be on this holiday.

littlejalapeno · 20/01/2020 17:16

I’ve travelled in Mexico, you might be better off going into a bank and getting a teller to get the money from the account with the card. Sometimes they need a signature and that’s not possible at an atm. Sometimes you can’t use non Mexican cards at atms to deter people nicking then and draining the account.

Train station atm sounds dodgy, so one of you should keep look out if you’re going to get out a large lump sum. Split the money up and carry it in different places whatever you do.

Keep track of all costs and set up a kitty. Hope you manage to enjoy yourself

Original poster
Straightomyhead · 20/01/2020 17:21

Woah a lot of questions here.

The money is definitely in my account. Definite benefit of monzo there.

I made an iteniary before we left but could never really pin her down. So just had a list of ideas before we came. Just needed to order them.

If we don't get the full deposit back will chase her when I'm in the uk. But atm it all seems fine. It's not an air bnb and we knew about the deposit before.

I won't be spending any more on her and I'll check the exit fee, I know I am covered for it as always keep some cash spare. Included in my original budget. (I'm a spreadsheet geek)

I've since spoken to my mum and in wise mum words she said get on the plane home no matter what and do what I want. It's funny no matter your age. Your mum calms you down.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 20/01/2020 17:28

Exactly. Enjoy your holiday doing what you want to do and let her sort herself out.

monkeymonkey2010 · 20/01/2020 17:30

Claims not to be able to afford

She certainly puts on a good 'wet behind the ears dumb ass' act doesn't she?
More like she wanted a cheap holiday and not have to pay the exchange/bank rates.

She's been trying to pull a sly one and i wouldn't be bailing her out of any 'emergencies' again - even if it means leaving her at the airport when she's conveniently got no money to pay for fees etc.

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