Holiday going wrong?

[Straightomyhead]

So I'm on a holiday, long haul type, with someone who I've been friends with for quite a while, but our first time away together. Was really looking forward to it until we got here.

When we arrived we needed to pay a £100 deposit on our apartment, which we be refunded and the £12each for the taxi transfer. (I've converted the currently to pounds for ease) Turns out she only brought £12 in the currency with her! So I paid the deposit. She has taken out a small about of cash since but of course it keeps running out meaning I have to pay. (Today she mentioned she had no money after ordering lunch from a beach shack and would need to pay on card. Of course they wouldn't take card)

She also put in no planning for what we are doing, how to get around or any of the language. And just keeps saying for me to do it. Today she had data switched on on her phone and I didn't and still asked me to do it. Eg. Work out the bus route.

I don't know what to do. She now owes me around £70 in the currency. I don't want to lose this friendship but don't want to ruin the holiday.

@sonjadog Thanks and to all before also.

Currently at a beach with a cocktail and fajitas. I really do love travelling alone

In future I recommend Splitwise which automatically works out what everyone owes everyone else the simplest way, even in large groups, and it's all tracked so there's no arguments. I went on holiday in a group with one tight CF who always tries to get away with not paying their way. Thankfully they couldn't get out of installing the app as everyone else had agreed - it was very satisfying seeing all their total totting up!

Looks amazing, OP, enjoy! 🙂

I will look at spiltwise in the future.

Also please excuse my humble brag. After years of mental health issues, having to leave a job I didn't like, then going to uni as a mature student, I got a graduate job and treated myself.

Sounds like you have the measure of her OP.

Let us know how you get on. Stay firm! 🍹

I think I just needed some reassurance that I wasn't the one be unreasonable and demanding.

Enjoy - v envious. It's -2 degrees here ❄️❄️

Your mum sounds lovely and wise. Cocktail picture looks like a perfect holiday pic! Keep having a good time and leave your friend to do her own thing, it’s not up to you to make it all work out for her.

I smiled when I read your chat with your Mum. Good for you. Don't let this spoil your holiday. Stand up for yourself and if you have trouble planning go to an internet cafe and use that for research (they often have the best air con!) good luck

If eating together again I’d put my half down and wait for her. If she claims she hasn’t got the money you say ‘oh well I don’t have anymore cash on me. What are you going to do?’ Let her work out how to solve the problem on her own.

Our cf mate ‘left her purse at home’ once too often. We were ordering a meal and we just put on our share and said she’d need to sort herself out. After bleating about not having any cash she suddenly found £20 in her bag hat she forgot about.

Mum's have seen it all,😂👍
Just be ready for her. Your Mum is correct, enjoy your holiday and don't part with another penny.

@Straightomyhead - how much research have you done?

I expect to pay everywhere with my phone! But it doesn`t mean I do not check out any new locations and plan in advance.
Including what we are planning to do if we flew 15 hours!

Easy to blame your traveling companion... but you are just as guilty!

Take back the 15 hours - initially you said you traveled to South America... Now Mexico is not in South America!

If anything she is much more travelled than me, but in Europe not South America but I like to know so much about a place before going.

I did lots of research before I came. I've worked the buses here and the beaches. Know the average prices of things and what taxis we can can't use. Also made sure I knew a little Spanish and had a downloaded app on my phone.

I originally said South America as I didn't want our friends to work this out and say something to her. But then to explain the US dollars thing I had to say México.

I'm not completely blameless but trying my best with something who is leaving everything to me. Even when I ask her to do something she looks to me for translating or where to go/eat

Is she infantile or just used to someone else doing all the thinking for her?

Reminds me of a skiing trip I went on years ago with a friend, S and her friend B whom I had never met. B was a stuck up bitch who really looked down her nose at me in every respect and spoke to me like I was stuck to her shoe and giving off fumes! She had a fabulous job but spent every penny she earned on herself .
There was no snow in the resort so we had to be bussed daily to a glacier if we wanted to ski. I had let it slip to S that my Dad had given me TEO £300 of, 'just in case' money. I was not a seasoned traveller and Dad was worried I might need to get home urgently. £300 would cover it easily back then.
B had no money for the glacier bus. If she had been more gracious I would have volunteered to loan her the dough but I didn't feel particularly well disposed towards her. S asked me in front of B though so I felt obliged to loan the money.

It took B five months of paying me back on the drip (while driving a brand new Renault 19) just the poxy weeks bus fare. I'm sure she could have paid it in one hit but paid it on the drip because she could get away with it.
Once she knew I had that money she was dropping hints like breeze blocks all week about us going out to eat instead of eating the mediocre food in the hotel. She had no money for souvenirs etc. It was bloody relentless. I genuinely believe she would have stolen that money if I hadn't hidden it as she was making such a mission about separating me from it to her benefit.
Even after the holiday she was still putting me down and using sarcasm on me constantly. Vile vile woman!
Lesson learned. I am very careful who I holiday with now.

I did make one further mistake in this respect and I can't bear the smell of lemon washing up liquid to this day and it's been 19 years!

When she looks at you to do that, look right back, blankly. Don’t fill in the silence or think ‘fuck sake, i’ll do it then’, say ‘so what do you have planned for this?’ ‘Nothing?? Wow. Better organise it now then. This bar has WiFi, so it won’t take you long to figure it out, I’m going for a swim, let me know when you’ve sorted it.’ ‘I don’t know where the nearest whatever is, look it up 🙂’ don’t allow her ineptitude to become your problem.

And never go away with her again, obv.

@andyjusthangingaround am I missing something? How is this in any way the OPs fault? Serious question, I’ve read the thread and I’m wondering if I’ve missed an update

@drinkygin - I would say it’s as much as OPs fault as the travel companion’s
You go abroad, you do your research.
Can I use my mobile?
Does hotel / accommodation have free WIFI?
Where is the nearest police station?
Is it an English speaking hotel?
British embassy?
Food stores and standard food prices?
Top 10 things to do?
Ten basic words plus downloaded dictionary
Currency? Exchange rate?
Regular taxi cost /rate?
Phone numbers to airport, hotel, next of kins

I mean, that takes no more than 30 mins! but require at least two digits IQ - is it really not standard?

I've been there recently.
Transport - have you looked into the colectivo shared mini buses - they go up and down the coast road.
Cards - no problem using at the supermarkets places like Chedraui, Maxi, Aki - all will take card but let you pay in peso.
Cash - never had a problem with machines not taking my card. Cash points at banks are better if you can get to a town easily.
Ideas - don't miss swimming in a cenote. Tulum is beautiful setting. Chitzen itza is a long day but amazing to see. Bring snacks. The big xcate et al adventure parks on the coast are ££ but get good reviews ( we didn't go). You could spend equivalent of hundred dollars a day on the big activities no problem - things are priced for tourists.Lots to do and lots of fun to had - enjoy!
We had a car and took the ferry over to Cozumel for a week - that was beautiful with great reef snorkeling.

Download a Yucatan guide book online.

I mean, that takes no more than 30 mins! hmm but require at least two digits IQ

How rude you are. It's clearly not OP's fault at all. But please, carry on thinking you're some kind of genius for looking up where the embassy is.

@andyjusthangingaround have you even read the thread? Seems like it’s you who needs the IQ update not the OP.

Where are you? I want to go that beach?!!

andyjusthangingaround have you mixed up this thread with something else? OP has done all that, it's her mate who's pretending she doesn't understand the concept of paying for things and acting as though she couldn't possibly access money. What did you get from the OPs posts?

The op clearly has researched though, and was very well prepared for the trip? Are you ok?!