So I'm in the very fortunate position of living in a spacious flat in London, which I own with my husband (thanks to his family's generosity/wealth, not my own hard work - I'll put that out there straight away!). We have a toddler and another baby on the way end of March.
My sister graduated university last summer and in the Autumn got a job in central London. Having been a struggling graduate years ago myself paying London rent (we are not from the city) I offered (with my husband's I suppose reluctant blessing) for her to stay in our spare room for free. The vague end date for that was new baby's arrival when we'll need a bit more space.
In return there was supposed to be a lot of babysitting, which hasn't really materialised. But I guess that's partly our own fault for not asking much in advance.
She was fired from this job before Christmas and is now job hunting but is still staying with us. After being home for the holidays my husband is not enjoying the lack of privacy now she's back and is itching for us to have our space again (and saying as much quite frequently). I always feel the guilt of 'but I can help, and I wish someone had helped me' but I do feel like she's taking the situation for granted and not pulling her weight.
Her room is always a mess, she's borrowing my clothes, doesn't contribute to general cleaning or cooking, and the reason I'm posting at 4am is she just turned up home from a night out waking me up. I'd asked her to text me before 1am if she was coming back (sometimes she stays with a friend) and she didn't so I locked up. So I wake up to banging at the door and her angry that I'd locked it. No apology. Luckily the toddler stayed asleep.
I just feel like we suddenly have a teenager living with us, and an ungrateful one at that. Part of me thinks she should understand that these things require some give and take, even if they are a favour from family.
Should I ask her to go back to our parents now she doesn't have a real reason to be here, so we can get the flat in shape a bit sooner for new baby? Should I be asking for some token rent? I don't much have the energy for huge arguments that might end up involving my mother who will inevitably try to persuade us she should stay. Should we just wait it out, given it's only another 6 weeks or so?
Thank you - would love to hear what you would do in this situation!