smoking

[Hopex3]

AIBU to think smoking if you have children is an incredibly selfish decision? having a debate with a friend who claims as she does it out of sight of her children it is not and she is entitled to a vice as she devotes her life to the children. from my view, it can cause illnesses, costs money that could go on other things for the family and quite frankly isnt a healthy thing for a child to be around (will still be on clothes/hair etc.) even if they dont see it? think I feel strongly as I remember as a child putting a cushion over my face to avoid the smoke from my dads 30 a day habit - I really do think its revolting

So you are with a man that is making your children go without and you're attention is on your friend...... put your own home in order!

Smoking is nasty. Fine if you want your lung cancer but to give your DC second hand smoke, mother of the year! Makeup, drinking alcohol sensibly don't affect others so some of PP's arguments are idiotic.

The things were relevant @Hopex3 just not in your very blinkered opinion. HUN!

PixieDustt - my bad, sorry you're right smoking is the best thing ever? absolutely not love, I was struggling to conceive so quit and I knew I didn't want to be a smoking parent as I already explained how shit it was with my own smoking parents, particularly my dad as already stated

So all the smokers have piled in on you, haven’t they OP?

I honestly don’t know how people can smoke in this day and age knowing what we know about the health effects that can even be passed down genetically to your great grandchildren. Also it smells disgusting and makes your house and clothes stink.

I remember going to my Nan and grandads and there would be a thick blue smoke in the air as everyone sat smoking. The kids hated it and were in another room. Anyway one aunt has got lung hardening and has to carry an oxygen canister around, my grandad died of a brain aneurysm and my Nan died of lung cancer from passive smoking. A very sad legacy. None of them would’ve thought it would happen to them when they were in their 30s 40s 50s. I hope you smokers think about how your kids would feel losing you to nasty smoking related diseases before your time all because you could t say no to the next fag. We miss them terribly.

hang on Alexa I was being called out for not replying now I'm being called out for replying - make your mind up love

Hopex3. I didn’t call you out for not replying, love.

I think you took a wrong turn OP, you should have followed the sign for NetMums 😂

OMG....I've just been 'hun'ed' on
mumsnet ...... !!!

Hopex3 don’t be obtuse. Your opinion doesn’t make you a bully but the way you present yourself and the constant badgering to your supposed friend, does make you a bully.

But someone could spend money on designer clothes/jewellery/ flash cars and their child goes without - yes, that's selfish. Many parents smoke and their child doesn't go without but according to you, that's still selfish. You are coming across as simply being anti-smoking. That's fine if you are, but it isn't fine to be claiming that all parents who smoke are 'selfish'.

Your main argument is health, as in the parent will die young I assume but where do you draw the line. Are fat parents just as bad? How about parents that eat red meat? Or parents in dangerous jobs such as police officer?

What you on about you loon?!
When did I say smoking is the best thing ever?! 🤣
I don't even smoke. But LOVE look closer to home before you judge HUN.

my kids dont go without tho, nor does he rant at me how his habit isnt selfish, once again my debate was IS SMOKING A SELFISH HABIT

Jesus you were smoking when you started to try to conceive and your judging others! So you PLANNED to carry a child whilst awaiting a positive test!

That's selfish and disgusting and you judge others.

Who knows why would've happened had you not had trouble conceiving.

Honestly love you're off the Richter scale with unreasonable.

my partner is extremely selfish for smoking - I dont argue that atall, it upsets me greatly that he smokes. he knows its selfish though and wouldn't ever claim it was anything but

spongejack your point makes no sense - I am asking if it is a selfish habit if you have children. this doesnt exclude myself or my partner. of course that would of been selfish of me which I acknowledge, unlike a lot of the people on here

Trying to conceive when smoking is a very very selfish thing to do and you did that.... you're way too judgemental when you have a parent that smokes and is a serious danger to your kids. It's not just about going without, second hand smoke is dangerous and for that I would never have chosen a smoker for a parent partner, nor would I do it myself.

The going without is a different argument totally.

This feels like 3 threads running at the same time😂
Glorious! I needed a giggle today.

Oh wow. So you only quit because you were struggling to conceive.. you didn't actually quit before that to prepare for a healthy pregnancy? And you sit in judgment of someone else?

This thread is making me want to take up smoking 😂 ffs

Who ever said 'get you own house in order' was spot on.....

Yes smoking is quite selfish, but so is drinking and eating chocolate.

Either way, smoke sticks to clothes etc and it costs money to do it...therefore both your partner and friend are out of order .....

Turn your attention on your selfish partner..... he sounds awful when you are so anti it. Not sure how you can stand that level of disrespect from a partner.

And he's lazy, by your own admission!

You've got way more to worry about than your friends daughters shoes!

@IceBearRocks that was me! 👍

I think my point is and remains, is smoking a selfish habit. I actually quit and would not take up smoking because of my daughter and acknowledge it is selfish. wtf lol, I've said several times in this thread I used to smoke why is this new????? and the reason this was put forward in relation to my friend was because it was her I had the debate with and her who was saying it was not selfish. trust me, my partner knows how much I resent it but he wouldn't sit there and tell me it's not selfish, he knows full well it is

Why's it new? You smoked whilst trying to conceive? Why did you even think that was right?