smoking

[Hopex3]

AIBU to think smoking if you have children is an incredibly selfish decision? having a debate with a friend who claims as she does it out of sight of her children it is not and she is entitled to a vice as she devotes her life to the children. from my view, it can cause illnesses, costs money that could go on other things for the family and quite frankly isnt a healthy thing for a child to be around (will still be on clothes/hair etc.) even if they dont see it? think I feel strongly as I remember as a child putting a cushion over my face to avoid the smoke from my dads 30 a day habit - I really do think its revolting

just because I used to do something does not mean it isnt a selfish habit. I know it is, which is why i dont anymore because I do have a child and because, in my opinion, it is revolting. gold star for you spongejack, get a life love getting so excited cos someone praised your shit point

spongejack I didnt lol, it was a very selfish thing to do, hence why I dont smoke now and wouldn't again. what's your point?

Seriously OP, How can you be in a relationship with a smoker when you feel so strongly about smoking?
If I felt as strongly as you clearly do about smoking, I dont think I could be in a relationship with them.

Look you stopped because you couldn't conceive LOVE, your "d" H could t be arsed so didn't. Your friend didn't have trouble conceiving, so smoked. Who knows what would e happened if you didn't have trouble conceiving? You could still be puffing that 20 a day with your H?

The OPs DH smokes?!?!?

@thebluearsefly yep

Bagofworries - it is a massive issue for me, I think it's a horrible habit. that isn't the point of my AIBU though, it was it smoking a selfish habit, regardless of who it's about if it takes over from the childs needs which in my friends case it sadly does sometimes and she also debated it not being selfish which is what this thread was about

A debate is not saying you're right and everybody who disagrees is wrong 😂 fine, smoking is "selfish", except for the fact it raises way more in tax than it costs. It's not illegal, so just because it's a horrible (in some people's opinion) habit doesn't mean a smoker is bad for doing it. I don't know any smoker who isn't aware of the risks. They do it anyway, possibly because it's 1) nothing to do with anyone else and 2) they want to/can't stop yet. I fail to see what the problem is.

hang on Alexa I was being called out for not replying now I'm being called out for replying - make your mind up love

You couldn’t even make your mind up to leave the thread.. stop embarrassing yourself op.

but regardless of who in my life smokes, why does that change the point of is smoking a selfish habit??????

I find it more embarrassing defending putting smoking before your kids needs then anything I have said. why am I so wrong for thinking this? especially when i used to smoke myself so know what it is like to be a smoker aswell? I'm not gonna apologise or be ridiculed for feeling the way I do about it. the worlds gone mad

Because you’re not on here talking about your selfish DH - you’re talking about your female friend.

Your kids go without because your DH smokes using family money. Your kids may be earlier without a father because your DH smokes

Why do you only judge women? Why isn’t this thread about your DH?

OP, you really need to give up now.

I'm totally with you OP. Aside from the smell and the money (life insurance premiums as well as cost of fags) , it is a habit which will affect your health and life expectancy. I want to see my kids for as long as possible and for them to have a mum in their life as long as possible, preferably one who isn't coughing and wheezing instead of chasing grandkids around

Why haven’t you left your DH for putting smoking above you and the kids.

No one is this stupid. This post isn’t real. Well done for fooling us

my nan also smokes, as do some of my other friends, so? does it make it any less selfish? no I dont think so, my partner is also selfish for doing it

Your DH could undoubtedly give your children more if he didn't smoke, you've chosen to back him, your party to it also. He could give them more financial benefits, a healthier life and a father for a longer time. Stop enabling him and leave your friend to her family members.

But YOU let your husband smoke the family money. Leave him and have him pay maintenance

YABU

You moan about your DH, your friend, are you Miss Perfect love?

thebluearsefly believe it or not, I am seriously considering it and not just cos he smokes but the laziness etc. mentioned in other posts

fairly shocked a GP would advise that

If that has shocked you then you don’t know much about smoking and therefore your opinion means nothing to me.

spongejack why are you so mad just because I think smoking is a selfish habit??

@Hopex3, I'm surprised you still have a friend left to talk to. You sound very much like the sort of person who says 'I'm just being honest' a lot to cover the fact they're a gobshite. I can just imagine what your social media is like, lots of 'SHARE IF YOU LOVES YOUR KIDS' bollocks I imagine.

I smoked. I quit. I started again recently after a traumatic incident. At the moment it's one of the few things keeping me from cracking, and that means the children have a mum who can carry on until things get better again. I can give up that crutch eventually, right now I couldn't give a toss how people like yourself think of me. We all have our vices. 'Lol'.

Cheesespreading what a shame