Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

What a twat

I'd type something like.

Awkward! You've never been to a ballet. There are men in ballet. But don't worry, won't hold it against you. The weird text though.....

'I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean?'

Polite, efficient, puts her in the position of either backing down & apologising, or explaining what a drunk vicious idiot she is.

Is it just me who thinks it's a strange theme? What have ballerinas and pirates got to do with each other.

But no- you did nothing wrong and the message was nasty and complety unnecessary.

Were any of the girls dressed as pirates?

No

Don't reply.

As the saying goes, never wrestle a pig, you both get dirty but the pig likes it.

You won't win with someone that batshit.

I’m thinking she’s just the sort of narcissist to make out SHE’s the victim and “feels attacked” if you call her out on her CF Behaviour

I'd reply "Silly me, I didn't see the bit on the invite that said it was a sex stereotype party and that boys HAD to go as pirates. My mistake!"

"I'm perfectly sane thank you, you however are bang out of order. You need a swift rethink about how you speak to people. I never would have expected such unwarranted vitriol from you, extremely disappointed."

Aaaand share her text with everyone you can, the more people that know about her cowardly-waiting-till-after-the-party abusive private message the better. Out the sneaky, unacceptable behaviour don't let her slink in the shadows.

I’d say, “oh dear, I take it this message was meant for the mum of the child who went as a princess, as my boy dressed in the ballet theme and I know your not a sexist bigot. Don’t worry, I’ll not breath a word. xx”

She sounds slightly unhinged, drunk, or both.

I'd ignore, to be honest.

My DD had a princess & pirates themed 5th birthday party. She went as a pirate. We must have got it wrong too!

Christ. We had a pirates and princesses party when DD was 5 (she's 13 now and would kill me for even suggesting it now). One lad came in his sister's princess dress and not one fucking word was said to him. I would have gone mental if anyone had of said anything.
Ignore OP or tell her to fuck off.

Just send the 'thumbs up' emoji. It'll both baffle and piss her off no end.

NoSquirrels phrased it better than I can. Go with that if you feel a need to reply.

she's unhinged!

I wouldn't give the daft cow the satisfaction of replying. I can only imagine she worried that your son would outshine her DD, the silly mare. Bet the birthday girl had a great party and your son looked sweet.

“Are you on glue?”

Glue? I'd be asking her if she was high on crystal meth. How rude of her. What an odd thing to say. Do you think she could be jealous because she saw it as you were trying to take the limelight away from her birthday child (not that that's an excuse, just the only reason I could think of. Unless she is on crystal meth).

Never mind the pedantry about ballerinas vs ballet dancers. If you'd sent your DS dressed as a velociraptor that still wouldn't have been an appropriate message.

How rude!! I wouldn't reply and I would totally ignore her going forward

To be fair, he is a ballerino rather than a ballerina, but thats not really the point. There's only one person who doesn't seem "fucking sane" in this situation.

Jeeze what a bitch.
text back "I don;t understand how you think we failed to stick to the theme?"

& make sure your funny-bone is switched on so you can sit back & enjoy the outraged, idiotic, self-justifying rants that follow.

*that's

I replied with "Ahh, I must've read the theme wrong. I do apologies, I get so distracted watching my son practice his arabesque. It was a great party, thanks for the fabulous day!"

She is currently typing, but it's said that for 5 mins now

^
Today 20:52 ReasonNorTreason

Were any of the girls dressed as pirates?

No

That’s a shame. DD would have been!

OP, the birthday mum is a sexist idiot, and she’s peed off that your son inadvertently stole her DD’s thunder.

Keep up the ballet! (My DS did ballet for a year or so when he was 3-4, only stopped because his best friend (a girl) did).