Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

I'm a Brit living in Australia - semi-rural Australia.
Like in the UK, the amount of casual racism you see/hear seems to depend on where you live - small towns with very few other ethnicities still seem to be pretty overtly racist, whereas in larger more cosmopolitan areas it seems to happen less on a day to day basis.

But then you hear people talking to friends and you realise that you don't have to go too far below the surface to see that it's still all there - and the UK has amply demonstrated that with its current political leanings, the whole Brexit shitshow, the "hostile environment", the resurgence of overt racism to other ethnicities - it's all going on.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the USA is just as bad, I'm just not as familiar with it apart from what we see on tv.

There's no merit in trying to score points off each others' countries - they all have racists, and they all have non racists - but the percentage of each will change depending on political climate and economic wellbeing of the country.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

I know where I’d rather live between the UK and Australia, as a non-white person, and it isn’t Australia.

SameOld - can't say I blame you for that, not at all.

@amaryl I was in Manchester city. If you are not white and English by three generations or more - you are not welcome in England. I am white - mot British.

I had comments made to me about going over and stealing their jobs, and that I should fuck off back to where I came from. I did fuck off to a better place!

While I was there - a man told me - that he was told to fuck off back to Pakistan every week. He wasn't from Pakistan - but that ia what they saw.

A woman told me that she was asked if her three children were hers, because they were too white.

I heard people laughing at the Irish, Polish and Indian people in various places.

I heard women blaming the "fucking pakis" for crimes.

I have seen threads on here where "an Asian woman was treated like the housekeeper in the U.K. , when she was the wife".

Racism is a HUGE issue in Britain.

I am not just blaming the U.K.

I am in the United States right now, and I see huge racism here aswell.

It is Not directed at me this time, because I am white. The white/black divide here is pretty shocking. I am in a city and all the white people have the good jobs, and all the black people have the bad jobs. It is awful! I hate racism - directed at me or directed at anyone else

I have been looking around at countries to see where the best quality if life is.

I have decided on canada.

*excuse the typos on my phone

Not all White British people are racist.
Not everyone in the UK born here is prejudiced.
I am sorry that you have had bad experiences but I am also tired of being tarred with that brush due to pathetic, small minded idiots.

@summersmumma not all white British people are racist.

But, as a country overall - it is not the most pleasant country to live in.

I am lucky enough to travel around.

Canada,
Denmark,
Sweden,
Holland,
Norway,
Finland

all seem like the best places to live - human rights wise.

The U.K had alot of racism and violence , when I was there. And l, I am also hearing racist incidents from people that I know in the U.K.

Yes, not every white, British person is racist, but the country as a whole - does not seem to be doing much to tackle racism.

I want to live in a kinder, more peaceful country.

@angell84 non white family here, lived a few counties over in the UK. Been fine, actually for us. Sorry you seem to have only been to racist parts? We've loved living in the UK.

Sounds like a wine text 2 me. I wouldnt relpy its not normal 2 text some1 that. It dosent deserve a reply. The bit at the end were she says ur not sane wtf..... she isnt sane lol

angell84 I'm a Mancunian and lived most of my life in or around the city, though I moved away some years ago. I am sorry that you didn't feel welcome in my home city, and I don't dispute that your experiences are real, but I am quite surprised. Things may have changed in recent years I guess - the world in general seems to be getting less tolerant - but Manchester is a large multicultural city and I don't recall racism being particularly widespread I lived there. Where I live now is pretty monocultural and although it is lovely here in many ways, I really miss the huge range of people that I knew in Manchester. I am sorry that you didn't meet people like my previous neighbours and friends as I am sure you would not have found them racist. Every city has plenty of bad people in it of course, but honestly, there are lots of good people in Manchester too. I hope if you ever return you will have better fortune.

I realise I've missed the boat on this, but I would send endless memes of male ballet dancers until she blocked me. But I am very immature.

My son used to do ballet. My reply would be this...
"I'm sorry but what part of the theme did my child not adhere to? He does ballet and wished to attend the party as a ballet dancer. I presume you have sent this message to the parents of any female pirates too? I must say though, I was surprised to read your message as I didn't know that I was associated with a sexist and homophobic judgemental ingrate so thanks for making me aware of that.
Take care.

There's terrible racism in Norfolk. The inhabitants are terrified of foreigners and are firmly Brexiteers.

It feels like there are two entirely separate discussions going on on this thread now. I hope the OP comes back so that we can have some closure on one of them at least!

I have a funny feeling I posted my last effort on the wrong thread! D'oh. Just ignore.

I'm afraid I don't have any juicy gossip to update you with

The woman's kids have been off all week with a sickness bug. Nobody has seen her at the nursery since the party, but they're sending over deliveries of food... Which I don't quite understand but seem to be well appreciated

Well I can sympathize with her (my kids too this week). We are all back to school tomorrow. Fingers crossed she will be too so you can give her a big smile and ask after the kids

Daily Fail has now picked this up, joy.

Fuck the daily mail. Bastards. Arsehole. Shit. (Avoiding being quoted)
I wonder if the kids are really sick or she’s avoiding people/you?

Canada is a good call if you are white, angel. You might find the level of casual racism against First Nation people starts to grate after a while, though.

Refugees are welcome. Indigenous people not so much.

@Lailaha I am absolutely sick of racism everywhere. I am doing my bit - where I live, to try to help to get rid of injustices.

Do you think - that as a world - many countries have gotten more nationalist/racist lately?

Good luck! Keep us updated.