Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

[QueenOfTheFae]

what part of wearing a ballet costume to a ballet (and pirates) party is wrong?
I like the suggestion of "?" to me it says "what the fuck are you whittering about?"

[Ated]

Ballerinas are girls, not boys and pirates are generally considered to be boys. Can you not read the theme correctly?

[PGtipsplease]

Come on tell us if she’s has replied yet!

[lottiegarbanzo]

Well, a boy is not a ballerina. He is a ballet dancer. So top marks to party mum for grammatical pedantry.

Apart from that, she's crazy as a box of frogs (in tutus)!

[MumofTinies]

Sorry, I missed your post where you said you had replied. You are a far braver woman than me! awaits increasingly bonkers responses from party mum

[GrannyBags]

Your reply is excellent! I hope she replies soon.....

[Lucked]

Sorry I missed that you had already replied. Love it, especially finishing with the polite thanks - very British you have clearly flummoxed her!

[Seaandsand83]

Ated

[saffronshawty]

But you actually stuck to the theme. It's not her fault she expected only boys to be pirates.

Next time you see her, you tell her straight, and the American accent always sounds a little harsh when you say things bluntly, so work it!

[ViciousJackdaw]

@Ated They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

[Aderyn19]

Even for people who have no manners pride themselves on 'blunt speaking', that message was spectacularly rude.
What is it with people who can't see the difference between being direct and being offensive?
Has she replied yet? I bet she doesn't know what to say and keeps deleting her replies, hence the time she's taking.

[GrannyBags]

@Seaandsand83
There’s always one!

[itsgettingweird]

Brilliant response.

Because she literally cannot reply to say that in fact you did read the theme correctly without making herself look more of a twat!

[EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall]

Who gives a fuck if ballerinas are girls and pirates are generally considered boys

[Janus]

I guess strictly speaking a ballerina is a girl in a tutu type outfit but I would have very much thought your son fitted the theme. She honestly must be nuts! I’m not sure you will get a nice reply!!

[Actionhasmagic]

What an awful woman

[Mlou32]

I would just text back something along the lines of 'are you usually so rude or have you been drinking? I trust you'll be embarrassed when you sober up tomorrow and read this back'.

[ReasonNorTreason]

She's replied with

"My oh my! There's no need to be so outright rude. Honestly? You know ballerinas was for the girls! You knew it. You wanted him the star and you got it, I hope you are just thrilled. Some friend!'

I'm not replying anymore now

[QueenOfTheFae]

@Ated
Ballerinas are girls, not boys and pirates are generally considered to be boys. Can you not read the theme correctly?

oh you are funny, someone had better go back and tell these ladies that they weren't proper pirates


Cheng I Sao
Cheng I Sao, or the “wife of Cheng,” was a Cantonese former prostitute who married a powerful corsair named Cheng I in 1801. The husband and wife team soon raised one of China’s most formidable pirate armies

Anne Bonny
Bonny had always been known for her “fierce and courageous temper”—according to one legend, she nearly beat a man to death when he tried to force himself on her—and she quickly showed she could guzzle rum, curse and wield a pistol and cutlass with the best of Calico Jack’s crew.

Mary Read
Read turned pirate in the late-1710s, after buccaneers attacked the ship she was working on and impressed her into their ranks. She later found her way aboard Calico Jack Rackam’s boat, where she met and befriended Anne Bonny and revealed herself to be a woman.

Grace O’Malley
During a time when most women were denied an education and kept restrained to their homes, pirate Grace O’Malley led a 20-ship fleet that stood up to the might of the British monarchy. Also known as “Granuaille,” or “bald,” for her habit of cutting her hair short, O’Malley was born into a powerful clan that lorded over the coastlines of western Ireland.

Rachel Wall
Rachel Wall’s biography is peppered with myths and legends, but if certain tales about her are true, she was one of the first and only American women to try her hand at piracy.

[messolini9]

I didn't quite get where the "she's jealous DS stole her DDs thunder" comments until re-reading the stupid trout's text again:

I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest.

Bonkers.
Also ... I would NOT be able to resist cracking back What does "if I'm honest" mean? I was operating under the impression that you were. Have you been lying up til now then? Oh, that would explain it - you were lying about the theme! But you told us ballerinas or pirates, so that's what we did. If you could just stick to the truth in future, life will be so much simpler. Thanks again for the party, DS had such a good time.

[Orchidflower1]

@ReasonNorTreason reply was fabulous !

It’s irrelevant whether you adhered to the theme ( which you TOTALLY did) she still shouldn’t have texted such a vile message.

[T0tallyFuckedUpFamily]

Ballerinas are girls, not boys and pirates are generally considered to be boys. Can you not read the theme correctly?

Alright! Own up! Which one of you feckers has left the door open to the time vortex? Someone has wandered in from the the 1950s again. Could someone please escort them to the Feminist rooms, so they can catch up with the rest of us? I’m busy putting together a flat pack.

[lottiegarbanzo]

But... I feel she should have used 'and' not 'or'. 'Or' implies choice. Maybe make that tiny grammatical point and see how it goes down?

This reminds me so much of one of the 'Olivia' books (they're fab) Olivia and the Princesses or similar title. 'Everyone dressed as a ballerina. Even some of the boys. I dressed as a warthog'.

Honetlsy, send her that book! (It's American, set in New York - and quite NY in it's cosmopolitanism and also quite wonderful).

[BreconBeBuggered]

You're outright rude when she already called you 'not fucking sane'?

Wide berth required. Serious batshittery.

[Thescrewinthetuna]

Ooh she’s a drama llama. I’d personally reply to her second message with this emoji: 😂. However, I think your plan of not replying anymore is better