Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

[bumbleboots]

Send her a Billy elliott dvd. She is a bigot.

[Mummy0ftwo12]

oh come on, isn't it time to break out the mumsnet classic 'did you mean to be so rude' - feel free to give the phone a hard stare as well

[BluebellsareBlue]

That is really really rude and I would be offended. I think I'd reply "I'm not entirely sure what part of the ballerina and pirate part I missed?, DS came as a ballet dancer"

[FreedomfromPE]

Just respond. "Wow". And go quiet for a few days.
What a silly moo

[Wolfiefan]

How weird! I have a DD and if she got that invitation I know she would have chosen to go as a pirate. Is that ok?
She’s bonkers!

[user3575796673]

I don't think I could be bothered to engage with such abject nonsense. Next time you see her I would act as if she hasn't sent it and just carry on as normal.

[pictish]

“He was dressed in his actual ballet kit you absolute weapon. Get fucked.”

Should suffice.

[Hanab]

I think your son probably got a lot of attention and she is not happy that her daughter was not the sole focus

[pongopig]

A ballerina is a female ballet dancer, so to be fair you did deviate from theme - however no normal person would be bothered, let alone send such a rude message.

[BelieveInPeople]

She’s ridiculous. Just reply ‘Janice, please don’t be THAT mom’ and leave it at that.

[Seaandsand83]

Definitely respond, she can't get away with thinking that her message us OK!

[Bluerussian]

What a rude woman!

[Aridane]

She probably thought you / your son were attention seeking

[GreenBasket]

I'd say with the "oh you just had to" type remarks that she's already a tad jealous that your boy is the interesting Brit!

Him bucking the trend and upstaging her daughter (in her eyes only I imagine) has sent her wine fuelled loose lips over the edge!

[fascinated]

I gather some bits of the US are v into sex stereotypes....

[katy1213]

Shouldn't think Carlos Acosta's mum ever wishes he were a pirate.

[Frequency]

I think I'd just send my usual response for when I get bitchy messages that make no send which is...

?

Short, sweet, takes little effort and seems to piss my ex, who is also a small minded bigot, off no end.

[WalkingOutOfFlabbiness]

God reply - she is an arse and no reply makes your meeting worse if you feel funny. You shouldn’t - she should and if she can’t you don’t have to give a shit!
Text something like - Have read your message three times and it still makes no sense whilst managing to be really rude. Hopefully your dd enjoyed her party even if it has made you question my sanity. You won’t be the first though never before for having a ballet dancing son ... oh well

[sonjadog]

I think I would reply with "?"

[BikeRunSki]

Were any of the girls dressed as pirates?

[morrisseysquif]

Just say how you feel -

'my son dressed as a ballet dancer in keeping with the theme. I found your message rude and offensive. Do not contact me again.'

[Takeonmeeeeeeeee]

She’s swearing at you in a message about a kids party?! No way! I’d tell her to piss off of she thinks she’s ever speaking to me again after that message.

[Queenoftheashes]

Hmm yes I think you should do the ? response
Force her to elaborate a bit more before going in

[SleepingStandingUp]

I'd just reply

I send him as a ballerina / blet dancer. What's your issue?

[Itwasntme1]

Poor birthday girl - her mum is a bitch and an idiot.

Your sons costume was spot on. Stupid bloody woman