Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now

[DoreenSamuel]

Dp and I both work ft and both do our fair share of looking after children and household chores. Food preparation is not really part of my allocation but I do more cleaning.

Anyway DP tends to do a lot of cooking on the weekend with a view to putting some things in the freezer and some things in the fridge for meals over the next few days.

He is a great cook and meals are always delicious. However I seem to have some irrational fear of food poisoning and I frequently ask questions about the food he’s making which seem to annoy him.

Today I noticed he was cooking a load of bacon and I was surprised as he’d already said he was making fish and chips for tea. I asked why he was cooking bacon and he said he was making stuffed jacket potatoes with cheese and bacon for a meal over the next few days. I apparently frowned and also said I didn’t think bacon would be safe to eat after being cooked and put in the fridge for a few days.

He became angry and told me to google it. He said he feels completely taken for granted and ‘nothing is ever good enough’.

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way. I do feel bad because he’s spent almost the whole day meal planning to ensure we can’t eat home cooked healthy meals but I really don’t think his reaction was ok.

Aibu? If so how can I make this better, he’s not answering his phone.

[catwithflowers]

The bacon will be fine 🙈. Leave him to it if you don’t want to cook. Or better still, learn. If you can read, you can cook. Basic cookery is not rocket science. This is what I have told my 18 year old!

I think an apology is in order. And get some help for your anxiety. 💐

[Motoko]

He was cooking the bacon in advance, because he was chopping it up to mix in with the potatoes. It's called twice baked jacket potatoes. After cooking the spuds, you scoop the flesh out, mash it up with butter and seasoning, and any extras like bacon and/or cheese. Then you pile it back into the potato skins. Can then be either popped back in oven for 15 minutes, or put in fridge or freezer, to be baked at a later date.

OP you need to learn to cook. And YABVU.

[UndertheCedartree]

I do think hevis being mean not answering his phone. That would have my anxiety sky-rocketing!

[2020BetterBeBetter]

It’s good you realise and accept that you were unreasonable.

He doesn’t want to answer his phone to you right now but when he does come home, apologise and tell him you are going to seek CBT or something to help you with your issues with food. Also, why don’t you go on a cookery course or something so you can feel confident to cook more than beans on toast?

[BoneyBackJefferson]

@slipperywhensparticus
Does he always over react when you ask a question?

Surely he can show you how to cook?

Why are you trying so hard to blame him?

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

@DoreenSamuel x post.

What do you mean what's the point?

There's loads of reasons. What happens if your DP is ill - do you feed your children rubbish? What happened if god forbid he dies or you divorce? and just as importantly - what about him? It's not fair that he has to do this all the time because you won't learn to cook.

I agree with the others who have said that if this was a man he'd have his arse handed to him.

[adaline]

he’s actually very kind and cooks me a different meal if I don’t like what he’s making already for the rest of the family.

Are you not really embarrassed to behave this way?

[letmebefrank]

Have you ever seen all the food to go sandwiches in supermarkets ... many include bacon and are good for several days.

Pay more attention.

And you owe your DH a serious grovelling apology.

[74NewStreet]

What’s the point?? The point is that you’re an adult and you’re being looked after by another adult as though you were a child.
And stop talking nonsense about chicken nuggets and smiley faces.
That’s not cooking (it’s barely even real food).

[Chloemol]

If I was your dh I would be telling you to make your own meals. You need to get a grip, the problem is yours s9 you need to sort out your fear. Try councilling

[catwithflowers]

Actually, we have bacon in the fridge from before Christmas and it’s absolutely fine. As is the mountain of cheese 😊

[Branleuse]

jeez, you sound very high maintenance. Not surprised he stormed off. Maybe this was one criticism too many

[BrightYellowDaffodil]

he’s actually very kind and cooks me a different meal if I don’t like what he’s making already for the rest of the family

Why on earth can’t you just eat what everyone else does?

[Ginfordinner]

If he didn’t cook sadly I think I’d live on beans on toast and apples

Don't be so lazy

Unless you are severely dyslexic you can read and follow a recipe. If you don't cook you have no right to criticize someone's cooking, just like a non driver has no right to criticise someone else's driving.

Why have you never bothered to learn to cook? Do you always expect other people to do things that you can't be bothered to learn to do?

And what kind of role model are you to your children?

IMO learning to cook is a life skill that everyone should have.

[DiegoSaber]

Just cook with him and learn. If you make a "roast dinner, chilli, curry, bolognese, stir fry, pasta dish" or whatever with him just once or twice, you will then know how to make it on your own another time. It's really that simple. Most people who are proficient at cooking learned it the same way.

[PityParty4one]

I didn't vote because yabu with your questioning and cant cook attitude but he is being childish by not answering his phone.

My exh and now dp are good cooks as am I. We (thier dad and me) have taught our 4 dc to cook as it's a basic life skill.

Its childish off putting behaviour when an adult cannot cook basic meals.

[adaline]

I agree I should make more effort, but really what’s the point when my DP can do such a better job?

Because you're a grown adult who shouldn't be relying on her DH to feed her everyday?

[Yeahnah2020]

My initial reaction was this was a joke thread. Now I see further comments from you.
“I can’t cook” - yes you can. Follow a recipe
You sound lazy and entitled. I’d be super pissed off if I was your partner

[Bluetrews25]

Text him a grovelling apology
Educate yourself out of this fear.
Cook HIM a cake because you love him.
Would he enjoy supervising you or showing you some basics like how to chop and onion or rub in?
Get researching and learning, and hope to goodness he gives you another chance and that you have not just broken the camel's back with that final straw.

[Lovemusic33]

YABU

I would be pissed off if someone who can’t cook came into the kitchen and questioned what I was doing.

There’s no risk of food poisoning from using cooked bacon. Send him to my house so he can cook for someone who will appreciate it 😂

[myidentitymycrisis]

YABU

It is rude and controlling

[WorraLiberty]

I agree I should make more effort, but really what’s the point when my DP can do such a better job?

Because you're an adult and a parent who is too lazy to learn to cook, to look after your family if you husband ever isn't there for any reason.

Your kids can't live on nuggets and chips if he has to go to hospital for a few weeks. Or maybe they can, but a decent parent would make sure that'd never have to happen.

Plus, you're setting a really bad example to your kids here.

[Thetellyisjelly]

You need to cook

[Thetellyisjelly]

To learn to cook sorry!

[Supersimkin2]

Grim.