Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now

401 replies

DoreenSamuel · 18/01/2020 17:29

Dp and I both work ft and both do our fair share of looking after children and household chores. Food preparation is not really part of my allocation but I do more cleaning.

Anyway DP tends to do a lot of cooking on the weekend with a view to putting some things in the freezer and some things in the fridge for meals over the next few days.

He is a great cook and meals are always delicious. However I seem to have some irrational fear of food poisoning and I frequently ask questions about the food he’s making which seem to annoy him.

Today I noticed he was cooking a load of bacon and I was surprised as he’d already said he was making fish and chips for tea. I asked why he was cooking bacon and he said he was making stuffed jacket potatoes with cheese and bacon for a meal over the next few days. I apparently frowned and also said I didn’t think bacon would be safe to eat after being cooked and put in the fridge for a few days.

He became angry and told me to google it. He said he feels completely taken for granted and ‘nothing is ever good enough’.

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way. I do feel bad because he’s spent almost the whole day meal planning to ensure we can’t eat home cooked healthy meals but I really don’t think his reaction was ok.

Aibu? If so how can I make this better, he’s not answering his phone.

OP posts:
PineappleDanish · 20/01/2020 08:11

Oh I missed the OP's transformation into Delia Smith overnight. How convenient! Hmm

ApolloniaVitelliCorleone · 20/01/2020 08:14

You're rude - the fact you even had to question your actions in this thread is very arrogant
Learn to cook and butt out when it's not your turn.
I can totally understand how he felt
Hope you apologise to him fast

Ginfordinner · 20/01/2020 08:19

Read the updates Apollonia

AllergicToAMop · 20/01/2020 08:49

I mean like... Not reading the whole fucking thread... Fine, understandable...
Replying to it without even reading last OP's post? Stupid... They are even highlighted🤷
Now this thread will go for another 620 posts of
"OMG OP, you blabala"
"Oops! Haven't seen the update"
And repeat...

For all you Use by dates obsessedGrin

Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now
LemonPrism · 20/01/2020 09:49

You sound annoying AF. Of course bacon is safe to be cooked and refrigerated for a few days... as with any meat.

If you're not going to do the cooking you can at least stop pulling revolted faces and making out like he's a disgusting cook.

SoupDragon · 20/01/2020 10:02

You sound annoying AF

Not as annoying as people who can't be arsed to read even just the OP's updates.

FilledSoda · 20/01/2020 10:41

You have ' some irrational fear of food poisoning' and you 'can't cook'.
In the space of 24 hours you're now making fish cakes and chilli .
You sound like a drama loving teenager tbh.

Motoko · 20/01/2020 11:38

The thing is, both of you need to be able to run the household without the other. So you need to learn to cook, and he needs to learn how to do the washing, etc.

There WILL be times, when one of you is not at home, work/in hospital, etc, so the other needs to be able to pick up the reins.

Your choice of meals that you chose to cook, are a bit odd for a beginner. Most people start with the basics, such as soup, pasta sauces, chilli, shepherd's pie, casseroles, roasting meat, omelette, etc. The reason being, they are like the foundations of a house, once you know how to make a basic pasta sauce, you can then learn to add and/or substitute different ingredients, for different meals. So you need to learn the basics first.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 20/01/2020 12:20

Afraid I also call bullshit on the sudden overnight turnaround from "I can't cook" to chilli and fishcakes. Considering your alleged anxiety, they are both odd cooking choices for someone with a fear of food poisoning.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/01/2020 12:34

Nobody who cant cook and has a fear of food poisoning starts with salmon fishcakes unless you used a tin of salmon mixed with some mashed potatoes. And you had fish the night before anyway why 2 nights following.

GabsAlot · 20/01/2020 12:43

So now people have told you you didnt solve anything all of a sudden you can cook?

toomanyleggings · 20/01/2020 12:50

My dh called my sausage casserole 'slip on a plate' the other day. It really upset me. People get very sensitive about cooking. I can understand you worrying about reheated food though. We argue about this as well. Just say sorry and you appreciate all his efforts

toomanyleggings · 20/01/2020 12:50

*slop on a plate

EerieSilence · 20/01/2020 12:52

From I can't cook to fish cakes. You must be a cooking genius! Especially if you used salmon while having an irrational fear of food poisoning.

SoupDragon · 20/01/2020 12:52

Just say sorry and you appreciate all his efforts

🤦🏻‍♀️

Zeusthemoose · 20/01/2020 12:55

Thetellyisjelly
Abusing behaviour - are you for real?? Op realised she was being an arse as we all can be in our relationships and did so.ething she knew her husband would like to make him smile. It may not be your cup of tea but it's not weird or patronising. Honestly get over yourself.

AwdBovril · 20/01/2020 12:56

That's a lovely update. The OP didn't claim they were artisan fishcakes. Could have been tinned salmon & tinned potatoes, squished up in a bowl with a potato masher & then fried, for all we know. Still counts as fishcakes, especially for who says they can't really cook. And I bet her DH appreciated them, even if they wouldn't have passed muster in some households.

AwdBovril · 20/01/2020 13:01

Toomanyleggings - I suggest you get a dog, it would probably be a lot more appreciative of your efforts. I'd have slopped it into the bin, personally, due to lack of a dog.

Ninkanink · 20/01/2020 13:06

OP could have popped some ready made fishcakes into the oven. It’s still a step up from chicken nuggets...

spongejack · 20/01/2020 13:10

@Ninkanink except she says she prepared homemade fish cakes not preprepared ones @Ninkanink

Ninkanink · 20/01/2020 13:13

Ah ok, to be fair I’ve only skimmed last few comments.

Maybe they did it together?

In any case I hope the OP takes advice and reads up on food safety to avoid being so irrationally worried in future.

74NewStreet · 20/01/2020 13:16

I prepared homemade fishcakes. Op said it herself, why are people suggesting otherwise?
Strange indeed for someone who declared just a few hours earlier that the compromise she’d made was a promise to stay out of the kitchen.
This thread is a complete windup...

Ninkanink · 20/01/2020 13:26

Well yes I’m inclined to agree that that is certainly a distinct possibility.

doesn’t really make any difference to me either way.

AllergicToAMop · 20/01/2020 13:33

Well it is possible he already had them planned and as OP said DP was there guiding. So yeah. Pretty possible.

Can @MNHQ maybe change the title and add -Sorted, please read the fucking updates, people

blondiebrowneyes · 20/01/2020 14:07

I don't blame him. If you can't learn to cook (although I fail to see why a grown adult can't follow a recipe successfully) let him get on with it and stop criticising.

Swipe left for the next trending thread