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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now

401 replies

DoreenSamuel · 18/01/2020 17:29

Dp and I both work ft and both do our fair share of looking after children and household chores. Food preparation is not really part of my allocation but I do more cleaning.

Anyway DP tends to do a lot of cooking on the weekend with a view to putting some things in the freezer and some things in the fridge for meals over the next few days.

He is a great cook and meals are always delicious. However I seem to have some irrational fear of food poisoning and I frequently ask questions about the food he’s making which seem to annoy him.

Today I noticed he was cooking a load of bacon and I was surprised as he’d already said he was making fish and chips for tea. I asked why he was cooking bacon and he said he was making stuffed jacket potatoes with cheese and bacon for a meal over the next few days. I apparently frowned and also said I didn’t think bacon would be safe to eat after being cooked and put in the fridge for a few days.

He became angry and told me to google it. He said he feels completely taken for granted and ‘nothing is ever good enough’.

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way. I do feel bad because he’s spent almost the whole day meal planning to ensure we can’t eat home cooked healthy meals but I really don’t think his reaction was ok.

Aibu? If so how can I make this better, he’s not answering his phone.

OP posts:
Fannia · 18/01/2020 17:38

I think you have been unreasonable. If he cooks the bacon, chills it fairly quickly it will definitely be safe for at least 3 days. Cooked fresh meat can be kept that long in the fridge, and with the curing process it will make it keep even better.

nokidshere · 18/01/2020 17:38

Butt out or cook yourself.

Everyone can cook if they can read. And presumably he hasn't poisoned you yet?

BlackBlueBell · 18/01/2020 17:38

I can see why he’s snapped, but I do think his reaction is a bit drastic. I think you need to sort your fear out, you’ll know if somethings off or uncooked.

Oysterbabe · 18/01/2020 17:38

I call reverse.

Danni91 · 18/01/2020 17:38

Anyone can cook its not hard to read instructions and follow a simple recipe

74NewStreet · 18/01/2020 17:38

What do you imagine would happen to the bacon if it was stored in the fridge after cooking?!
If you really know so little about food preparation and are unwilling to learn (and pull your weight), you need to butt out completely and leave him to it.
I’d be absolutely raging if I had to be the designated cook because DH refused to get involved and he then interfered from the sidelines.
No sympathy from me, I’m afraid.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 18/01/2020 17:38

I can understand his reaction particularly if you do this alot. You are implying you know better about something you clearly dont have any knowledge or experience with as well which must be annoying. I can imagine this is a case of the final straw rather than the first time you have asked?

Mandarinfish · 18/01/2020 17:39

Sorry OP, but if I was him I would find this really annoying too. How would you feel if he criticised your cleaning? I think you need to give him a serious apology.

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 18/01/2020 17:39

He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way.

Hmm

You really couldn’t feed yourself if he was away for a few days?

Troels · 18/01/2020 17:39

Sounds like he's sick of you critisizing him doing something you benifit from and can't do yourself.
He's not killed annyone so let him get on with it. Stay out of the kitchen unless you are going to learn to cook.

CareBear50 · 18/01/2020 17:39

Go and get some sort counselling op to deal with your concerns.

If I were him I would have told you to cook your own meals

myrtleWilson · 18/01/2020 17:39

why can't you cook? It always amazes me that grown adults declare themselves unable to cook.

Pineaurouge · 18/01/2020 17:40

YABU -i'd be pissed off with you too. Learn to cook or stop criticising him!

ifyoulikepinacolada · 18/01/2020 17:40

How did you eat before you met him if you can’t cook?

He’s not given you food poisoning yet, and he’s taking on all the mental load of the planning too, and I’m afraid I can see why he’s annoyed with you. I would apologise.

katy1213 · 18/01/2020 17:40

You'd be making your own dinner from now on, if I were him, and if you can't cook you'd be eating sandwiches.
Does your husband often go down with food poisoning from the meals he cooks? No? Well, you won't get food poisoning from this one either.

FilledSoda · 18/01/2020 17:40

Who ' can't cook'?
That's a ridiculous statement , maybe you won't cook but unless you have a mobility issue or something of that nature then of course you can cook .
Could you imagine the response if a man said that ?
Read a book , look online , there really is no excuse .
It's infantilises you.
The bacon issue was incredibly rude YABU. Let's hope he accepts your apology.

74NewStreet · 18/01/2020 17:41

God, I hope it’s not a reverse. They’re as tedious as fuck.

Fluffysocks10 · 18/01/2020 17:41

As the one in our household who cooks all the meals, I would be pissed off too. I wouldn’t have stormed out, but along the lines of cook your own meals.

Fitforfifty · 18/01/2020 17:41

Sounds like this was the last straw and probably not a one off - I’m not surprised he flipped to be honest.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 18/01/2020 17:42

Sorry but I also think YABU. If you genuinely can’t cook (which is ridiculous enough in itself, you’re an adult) then why would you think you know better than an experienced cook about how long food can be safely stored? You owe him an apology and a promise that you’ll change your behaviour towards him.

Frenchw1fe · 18/01/2020 17:42

I do most of the cooking in our house and I too am ocd about food being off. I would also query pre cooking bacon as it’s so quick to cook it fresh.
However if my dh queried my cooking constantly I think I would get annoyed.
Perhaps next time google before asking questions and be a bit more diplomatic.

theWarOnPeace · 18/01/2020 17:43

I wouldn’t have married my husband if he couldn’t cook. Unless there’s a massive drip feed coming, then you’ve got no food excuse in my book. Not being able to cook is bullshit.

Saucery · 18/01/2020 17:43

I’d have had a quick google to put my mind at rest tbh.

nanbread · 18/01/2020 17:43

Sorry I know this is not the question but you honestly can't cook bacon? Have you tried?

I do think it's a bit weird to cook bacon three days before eating it as it's super fast and tastes nicer fresh.

Yellowmellowgem · 18/01/2020 17:43

Has his cooking previously caused food poisoning given the reason to your fear? If not then maybe learn to trust him a bit more.

You said you do majority of the cleaning, wouldn’t be fair if he continually questioned your methods to how you’re cleaning.

A nice apology and a bit understanding to him being annoyed should hopefully bring him round Flowers