Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now

[DoreenSamuel]

Dp and I both work ft and both do our fair share of looking after children and household chores. Food preparation is not really part of my allocation but I do more cleaning.

Anyway DP tends to do a lot of cooking on the weekend with a view to putting some things in the freezer and some things in the fridge for meals over the next few days.

He is a great cook and meals are always delicious. However I seem to have some irrational fear of food poisoning and I frequently ask questions about the food he’s making which seem to annoy him.

Today I noticed he was cooking a load of bacon and I was surprised as he’d already said he was making fish and chips for tea. I asked why he was cooking bacon and he said he was making stuffed jacket potatoes with cheese and bacon for a meal over the next few days. I apparently frowned and also said I didn’t think bacon would be safe to eat after being cooked and put in the fridge for a few days.

He became angry and told me to google it. He said he feels completely taken for granted and ‘nothing is ever good enough’.

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way. I do feel bad because he’s spent almost the whole day meal planning to ensure we can’t eat home cooked healthy meals but I really don’t think his reaction was ok.

Aibu? If so how can I make this better, he’s not answering his phone.

[Rosehipbubbles]

Cooking meals every day is relentless and I expect that he is resenting the fact that this monotonous task always falls to him. You said he is a great cook but you didn't say if he enjoys it.

If you can read you can cook - an old saying but true. I have never met an adult that "can't cook" - and I would judge, and judge that you were lazy and a bit entitled. Cleaning can be done at a time of your choosing - cooking meals not so much so I don't blame him for trying to minimise the daily monotomy.

[Mrskeats]

Yabu totally
Of course it would be ok

[LeekMunchingSheepShagger]

He’s probably pissed off that he’s spending hours cooking because you “can’t cook”. Buy yourself a recipe book op. All you have to do it follow the instructions and voila! a meal is produced. He can then take on more of the cleaning whilst you take on some cooking.

You both owe each other an apology.

[FlaskMaster]

Yabu and ungrateful. Learn to cook or leave him to do it. Don't stand behind him moaning about his efforts. How rude. His reaction was totally right. If he stood behind you while you cleaned and whinged about how you did it, wouldn't you tell him to fuck off?

[TorkTorkBam]

Don't try to call him. Leave him to work through his anger. Do something nice for him to show you appreciate him. Tell him you will never ever say a negative thing or make a face about his cooking ever again.

Cookery courses are widely available. Many for free via youtube. Books too.

[DoreenSamuel]

No he’s never given me food poisoning, yes he’s a good cook and a lot more knowledgeable about food.

I realise I’ve been unreasonable, I just wish he’d answer his phone so I can apologise.

If he didn’t cook sadly I think I’d live on beans on toast and apples, he does really look after me. Oh dear, I do feel so bad now, he’s actually very kind and cooks me a different meal if I don’t like what he’s making already for the rest of the family. And the other day he made me a cake because he said ‘just because I love you’.

[ChicCroissant]

Is this a reverse? Do you think the answers would have been different the other way around?

[NotStayingIn]

I would have told you to fuck off too. Learn to cook, educate yourself on food safety OR shut up. There is no way I would cook for you again. I don’t think you quite realise how insanely annoying it is to be questioned about something you’ve spend ages on by someone with an irrational fear who knows fuck all about it.

[BrightYellowDaffodil]

If I was your DH, I’d have had enough too, I suspect. On the face of it that’s a bit of an overreaction but to be questioned about food all the time because someone has irrational fears (that they’ve done nothing about) would fuck me right off.

Educate yourself about food safety (Christ alive, of course cooked bacon will be fine in the fridge for several days) or cook for yourself.

[MilleniumHallsWalledGarden]

YABVU for not knowing how to cook or about basic food hygiene.

If you don't trust him to cook food that won't make you unwell don't eat it!

[WorraLiberty]

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way.

I don't blame him tbh

If you are an NT adult with functioning limbs then you can cook

[Snoopypoopy123]

Order takeaway

[Tombliwho]

You're right to feel bad. He probably feels like a cook while you look over his shoulder moaning about everything. Must be pretty demoralising for him. Leave him to cool off and then apologise sincerely. Also stop being like this. There's no point saying sorry if you keep doing it.

[CallmeAngelina]

I'm also with him.
He made you a cake "because he loves you?" Would you think it OK to have queried the sell-by dates of all the ingredients before having a slice?

[ambereeree]

I have a feeling you have form for questioning him about food. YABU.

[WorraLiberty]

If he didn’t cook sadly I think I’d live on beans on toast and apples

So if he died tomorrow, what would you do?

Bring your kids up on beans, toast and apples or get off your arse and learn to feed them?

[74NewStreet]

Oh honestly! He cooks you a separate meal if you don’t like what he’s cooked for everyone else... You should be embarrassed.

[xmaself24]

How on earth does someone get to adulthood not knowing how to cook

[ineedaholidaynow]

Why can’t you cook?

[Bunnyfuller]

Keep out of the kitchen if he is cooking. Other than it being rude to micromanage, how on earth do you manage eating out?! Or at a friend’s?

Sell by and use by are a big old con anyway. Things last a lot longer with today’s refrigeration.

[LadyMonicaBaddingham]

How many times, truly, have you questioned his common sense like this ? Because that's what you're doing. I seriously doubt that someone who is cooking in advance and meal planning is doing so with no thought. This may well be the straw that broke the camel's back. I understand that you feel anxious, but that's your issue to deal with, not your DH's to pander to. You owe him a grovelling apology.

[isthisaname]

You need to text him and apologise

[Tooner]

YABVU. He sounds like a fab husband, you would really piss me off with your questions and fear of poisoning. If you're that bothered why haven't you learned to cook by now? I'm sure your husband would like a day off doing the cooking sometimes.

[WorraLiberty]

How on earth does someone get to adulthood not knowing how to cook

Because they get fathered or mothered by the person they married and are allowed to live like a manchild or womanchild.

Embarrassing really.

[Thingsdogetbetter]

Your best apology would be to book a gp appointment to discuss your anxiety. Show him you realise that your 'picking' and checking and questioning are not acceptable. Don't just tell him you're sorry and continue doing the same.