Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now

[DoreenSamuel]

Dp and I both work ft and both do our fair share of looking after children and household chores. Food preparation is not really part of my allocation but I do more cleaning.

Anyway DP tends to do a lot of cooking on the weekend with a view to putting some things in the freezer and some things in the fridge for meals over the next few days.

He is a great cook and meals are always delicious. However I seem to have some irrational fear of food poisoning and I frequently ask questions about the food he’s making which seem to annoy him.

Today I noticed he was cooking a load of bacon and I was surprised as he’d already said he was making fish and chips for tea. I asked why he was cooking bacon and he said he was making stuffed jacket potatoes with cheese and bacon for a meal over the next few days. I apparently frowned and also said I didn’t think bacon would be safe to eat after being cooked and put in the fridge for a few days.

He became angry and told me to google it. He said he feels completely taken for granted and ‘nothing is ever good enough’.

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way. I do feel bad because he’s spent almost the whole day meal planning to ensure we can’t eat home cooked healthy meals but I really don’t think his reaction was ok.

Aibu? If so how can I make this better, he’s not answering his phone.

Bacon is cured in order to make it last for s long time. It's the last thing you should be worried about going off.

Either keep out of the kitchen entirely, or if you're going to be there, learn from him. Don't question someone critically if they're a good cook and know a lot about food, and you yourself know nothing.

I am still waiting fir the reverse reveal and... Nope😮

Learn to cook or learn to be quiet and appreciate someone else's work when there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I would get that if you ever had poisoning from his food but I can honestly tell you that if I was frequently questioned by someone who can't be arsed to cook about safety of my food, I too would walk out leaving them to fend for themselves. I gather you do cleaning. Imagine if he was walking behind you and kept asking you if you "are sure you are hoovering it right and won't there be dust left over and hive me an allergic reaction?"... Annoying, innit.

YABU, be happy he wants and knows how to cook.

Bacon would easily last a week cooked in the fridge.

YABVU anyone can follow a recipe. I would have twated you with a frying pan by now if you'd questioned my cooking.

I so hate when people say they "can't cook". If you can read, you can cook. Follow a recipe, it's very easy. I can't imagine being a grown adult and living on beans on toast unless someone cooked for me, how embarrassing.

Look at the votes OP, YABU.

Learn to cook and stop playing back seat driver towards someone who can cook. Your "advice" would piss me right off.

I buy cooked bacon chopped into little bits and sealed in a bag from Costco that aren't refrigerated. We freeze them when it is opened and use them bit by bit. Cooked bacon in the fridge is just fine.

I would be pissed if I was solely responsible for all the cooking and someone was criticizing my cooking.

"can't cook" is code for "I have decided not to learn how" it is pretty much the most basic life skill there is.

IF he is willing to do all this you need let him do it, be grateful and be quiet. Otherwise learn to cook.

Have you ever seen all the food to go sandwiches in supermarkets ... many include bacon and are good for several days.

This ^

If you consistently do this while he is cooking you all nice meals you all enjoy, and even willing to cook you something different when you don’t like what everyone else is eating then I am not surprised he reacted like this. Stop calling him, let him cool off and apologise when he does get back home. And for goodness sake learn to cook, and learn more about food in general, how to store things, how to make things laugh, what kind of things can give you food poisoning and what things won’t. It really isn’t that hard. Your comment about why you should bother to learn to cook when he’s so good at it is staggering.

I so hate when people say they "can't cook". If you can read, you can cook. Follow a recipe, it's very easy.

You don't even have to read.

There are literally millions of video tutorials on the internet.

You are definitely unreasonable and I suggest you apologise to your dh. I have this sometimes at home except I am the cook, it is so disheartening not to mention rude when you put in effort to provide healthy home cooked meals only for people to turn their nose up at it. Also you are a grown woman with children and can hold down a job learn to fucking cook. No excuses. No such thing as can't cook. What will you do if you didn't have your husband? I assume you ate before you met him. Get some books or go on YouTube and be an example to your kids.
In the meantime a lot of grovelling is required to your husband.

I frequently ask questions = you critique him every time he cooks because of your anxieties doesn't it?

No wonder he finally flipped, you would too in a reverse.

You need to apologise profusely and address your lack of trust and need to control, I'm afraid.

You sound very controlling. I'd give anything for someone to cook for me - I'd apologise to him ASAP.

Have you ever tried cooking for him, OP? Just checking this isn't a situation where he is very critical if you do it, so over time it's just become easier to leave it to him. You sound very convinced you shouldn't even try it.

I don't even make my kids a separate meal if they don't 'like' what I've made, never mind a grown adult who doesn't see the point in learning to cook.

Such an odd thread...🤔🙊

I'm in camp cook.
Bacon is fine to cook and store.
If I'd been your husband you would have been blooming wearing it!
And then made to make your own meals hereon after.

The OP would apologise if he answered his phone.

As he's not there and won't, she can't, can she?

However, she has got the message that she was being VVU now...

He knows I can't cook

Even if you are disabled and you haven't said if you are plenty of disabled/impaired people can still cook. You realise this smacks of the deliberate strategic incompetence many DHs get accused of on MN. ?

I agree I should make more effort, but really what’s the point when my DP can do such a better job? He makes roast dinners, chillis, curries, bologneses from scratch. Stir fry’s, pasta dishes all sorts really. He’s always saying nothing he cooks is complicated but he’s just so much better at it.

Every dish you mention is piss easy. I think you just can’t be arsed and you’re lazy or you’re happy to do your allocation of jobs ie cleaning while he has to concentrate more on cooking.

He’s gone off to cool down. He doesn’t have to answer his phone until he’s ready to? Maybe he assumes op is just ringing with another list of instructions and doesn’t want to hear it.

You should be ashamed of yourself that you can’t cook! If you can read you can throw a basic bloody meal together. I’d be as pissed off at you as your husband is to be honest.

If I've just cooked a meal, dp will come in at the last minute and question something I’ve done. He thinks he’s making a logical suggestion, but actually, he’s pissing on my chips.
Its best to save comments or queries for a time when you’re not going to appear rude or ungrateful.

Do you have an eating disorder op?

You should apologise but you also need to think about how you can fix this for yourself going forward.

'However, she has got the message that she was being VVU now...'

Yes, perhaps someone else should suggest she learns to cook, just in case she missed the first 50 suggestions? It's like cancel the cheque all over again.

Does he often flounce and refuse to answer his phone? That would piss me off more than the bacon stuffed jacket spuds tbh.

YABU you sound a real nightmare!