Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

Had nephew age 4 for the day when I was early 20’s still with hopes and dreams in my eyes and a metabolism that still worked.
Went to the park “ooh aunty rose your bottom might get stuck on the swing/slide/seesaw”
We went for lunch and he tried to argue he was allowed pop. “Old people never let me have any fun”
Then proceeded to tell the waiter I wasn’t his mammy and he didn’t know who I was.
I was thrilled to hand him back at the end of the day.

Dd age 4 playing with play dough- ooh mammy it’s squishy like your tummy.
“My teacher does everything better then you/ looks better then you/ smells better then you/is better then you”
“Mammy why does your face look like that?” Ummmm what

4 year olds are fucking brutal

mine are both coat related...

nice swishy black mac, bought as a bargain in a charity shop, I am swishing about in it to show dh....DS1 pipes up, "oooh it's lovely mummy, you look JUST like Darth Vader."

trying on a jacket with a furry collar, and cuffs...stop laughing they were all the rage in the late 90s....dd's moons over it for a bit and announces "you look just like a celebrity Mummy, ...but no one really famous"

I still have both the StarWars Mac and the Celebrity Jacket.

Mum? Are you older than Stan Lee??

When I was around 3 or 4 back in the 70s my mum let me go into the sweetie shop and buy some sweets on my own like a big girl whilst she waited outside with the pram... the owner came out to tell my mum what happened whilst in stitches apparently... our neighbour came in and offered to buy the sweets for me.... "No thankyou, my mummy told me not to take sweets from strangers" ...."but OJZJ you KNOW me I am Mr x from upstairs"....." yes, I KNOW, I know you and I still think you're strange!!" 😆

"Mum, you smell like New York City"

Lol, never thought I'd be happy that DD age 3 had a hard time saying the 'L' sound! She used a 'yah' sound instead.
We were in a shop once and DD pointed at a lady down the aisle from us and announced, " Yook, Mommy! That yady has a baby in her tummy!" Said "yady" was at least 75 yrs

Another time we were on a holiday with my DH's company and had to have a hotel recommended child minder as it was an all adult affair. When the child minder arrived, my DD jumped into my DHs arms, pointed her little finger right at the CM and said loudly, " I DON'T YIKE THAT YADY!" We hated to leave DD with a stranger in the first place, but especially since she did 'yike' the 'lady'...So after about 10 minutes at the adult affair we ran back to the hotel room and rescued both of them!

Of course we still bring this up for a chuckle 33 yrs later!

*didn't 'yike' that 'yady'

Parked too close to a lamp post and had to squeeze out of the car door, muttered to myself "it's a good job I'm thin!" DS1 (probably about 6 at the time) "You're not that thin Mum..." (I'm a size 8)

Also, DS2 (about 2 or 3)- "Don't talk to me! I have an important face!" 😂😂😂

Brilliant Laurie
I want a coat that makes me look like Darth Vader too. Unfortunately I am only 4ft 11 so I would also need stilts. I'd definitely take that one as compliment though.
And cceee that could also be flattering. Some parts of NYC are probably quite fragrant. I'm getting freshly brewed coffee and sugar doughnuts....yumm...

A little girl in the class where I worked as a TA proudly came over to let me know she'd made me a card and it was in my 'birds nest'. Took me a second to realise she meant my pigeonhole in the office 😂😂

On train with three year old DD. Lady asked her ‘are you a good girl?’
DD replied, ‘ no, I’m very naughty so my mummy smacks AND kicks me’ 🙄. When we got off train I asked her why she had said that. She replied, ‘oh I was only joking’. She is 30 now, I’ve never laid a finger on her.

DS told me he wanted me to go to work every day (I work part time) and he wants daddy at home

Asked my friends dd if she likes Xmas pudding. She replied “I don’t like it much. But I can tell by how big your tummy is that you like pudding lots and lots!”

Boy in my class many years ago, 'Are you growing that moustache to make you look older?'

Apparently aged around 4, and usually a very shy child, I once piped up in a loud and carrying voice on the bus, "Mummy, why is that lady so fat?"
We got off at the next stop and walked the rest of the way home.

Just seen I managed to only post half of what I'd meant to.

Was getting ready to go out for dinner and I had put on a smart outfit (I normally wear jeans).DD gave me a once-over and asked, "What are you supposed to be?"
I've also been told that I'm not as young as other mummies and I'll probably die soon; that I smell of grated sprouts, that I have "huge and enormous" bags under my eyes, and that I'm not as fat as some other mummies. The last one was supposed to be a compliment.

When I was a training nursery nurse I went to help a little girls aged 3/4 and she said, I don't want you, I want the pretty lady! 😐 still remember it 20 years on!

My four year old once looked at me and declared ''Mummy ..I don't know why you bother to wear makeup..you don't look THAT ugly without it !!!''Yeah thanks!!

Mammy u look fat like a daddy pig in that coat

Young dd said to me that she loved my tummy as it was squishy and like a cushion.

Same dd said out loud infront of a whole bus " why is that man dressed as a lady?". It was a woman.

Dd1 (age 4) the other day (out of know where). ‘Mummy you are really, really, really old, I mean reeeeaaaally old’. Thanks Dd!

3 days after having second baby. My 3 year old dd sat next to me on sofa pulled my top up felt my belly laughed and said mummy you have a wobbly belly. Just what I wanted to hear

Remembered another - my child, aged 5, to a (female) friend's wife, "Are you a man or a woman?" She looks quite obviously female, unlike the newly transitioning person we'd met about two weeks earlier with a voice as deep as gravel.

As a child, I once told my mum she had a nose like a strawberry. I meant it as complement and just couldn’t understand why she was annoyed with me!

DS (now 17) aged 10 asked me what the cracks in my face were. I said they were wrinkles not cracks. Genuinely shocked, he then asked ‘...but will they get better?’. ‘No’ I replied - and how right I was...