Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

Your hair looks orange mum.

Having a cuddle with two year old granddaughter last week. She starts rubbing my tummy then said ‘full up Nanny’? 😂😂

English second language child in my yr 1 class “Mrs X, I like your hair, I like your ‘this’ (gestures to necklace) I like your dress (I was wearing jeans) But this ... I like it not UGGS.
And then just flounced off!🤣
I’ve posted the next anecdote before but this is the same school where we have a delightful but blunt TA:
“Mrs X, I saw you in your car last night, you look so pretty through the window” (I smile, rather pleased) She continues “In the car you look so lovely, I can’t see how fat you are...”
Then she smiled and tottered her dainty little Thai figure away whilst I wondered if to thank her or slap her!🤣🤣🤣

My son asked my gran who was 94 at the time if she was friends with Jesus

LadyOfTheFlowers

Having had 4, I still think my favourite of all time is DD who was about 5 at the time....

"Daddy, you look like Ken! And Mummy.... you look like.... like....Barbie's mum!"

My niece asked me on a visit "Is your mummy not sad?" I didn't quite know what she meant so I asked her and she came up with "Well, you're here with me, but is your mummy not said that you are visiting me? Does she not look after you?"
She was not quite three yet at the time and I wanted to leave it to my sister to explain that our parents weren't alive anymore.
I told her that I was a big girl and lived on my own and that once she was a big girl, she could do the same.
Her response "But I AM already a big girl, all I need to grow is breasts". Good thing that we had just arrived at our destination, I just couldn't control my laughing.

Mine pointed to our wedding photos and announced that DH was Deedah (got his vowels confused when he said daddy) and started stroking the bride in the photo fondly. I said "Yes, and that's Mummum." He looked back and forth with a doubtful expression and said "No, not Mummum." It was only 3 years since the photo was taken, with no deliberate changes of appearance like hairstyle or colour, and apparently I had changed beyond recognition.

“I prefer the school lasagne” Harsh.

Mummy, do you think, for a wee change, when you come to collect me from school (p2 at the time) today you could maybe put on a nice dress and some of your lovely jewellery.

‘Mummy, want to look at your buttons!’

He meant my spots - had just changed my moisturiser and my skin was having a tantrum about it 😑

DC to unsuspecting stranger "mummy dropped her phone down the toilet" (yes I did) "and then she pooed on it" (NO I DID NOT!!!)

Some children I was teaching had to leave the lesson to practise for a music concert. “Are you singing any songs I’d know?” I asked. “Well, some of them are quite old.”

Mummy stop wearing man clothes

I wear jeans and jumpers every day

The day after my twins were born my nephew asked me if they had left another baby in my tummy!

My aunt singing "Cuz I am beautiful... no matter what they say"
4 year old nephew: No you're not

Years ago, before I had my own DC, I was out with a new friend and met her DD for the first time.

Her: Tea did you make your skirt?
Me: No, do you like it?
Her: No. My teacher makes her skirts and they look like curtains too!

My friend was mortified but it prepared me for my own children's comments in years to come!

My son asked me why I was growing a beard a couple of weeks ago.... he also asked what the lumps on his aunties boobies where when he walked in on her naked ..... "Nipples son-that's where they are MEANT to be"

I am a primary school TA. Over the Christmas holidays I bumped into a girl from my class, Y2, in a supermarket. She was there with her older sister (about 9 y.o.) and her Dad. The girl said hi to me, we had a little chat about how her half term was going and off I went to do my shopping. I bumped into this family again, Dad smiles, I smile, so basically we ended up at the same aisle a couple of times. So on my return to school, the girl tells me “Mrs X, I saw you in a supermarket, remember? Why were you following us? My sister says that you were definitely following us, like stalking!” Me - no way, A., I was just buying food, I did not follow you, I promise!!” She, with a relief, “Thank Goodness. I did not want to believe my sister , but she was convincing my Dad you were a stalker!” Omg. I don’t even know if I should be giving an explanation to her father now! Fecking kids!

We're even

WERE FFS!!!!!!

"Why is that fat lady running?" About me, overheard at a parkrun once... The fat is the reason for the running kiddo. Her mum looked mortified!

My two year old grabbed my naked thigh and shock it shouting wobble wobble!! 😳😂

Oh and a woman nigh on emptied a vending machine at the hospital the other day and my son leaned over in a loud whisper "DID you SEE that??? NO WONDER SHE'S FAT!!!"
She was quite large but so am I ....

Me, looking in the window of an artisan pottery studio: “I think I’d like to try pottery”, DS: “I think you should really leave that to the professionals”. He’s 5... and already so wise.

I'm trying to teach ds ( he's nearly 6) about privacy/ boundaries etc. He barged into my bedroom while I was putting my pjs on.... I said to him turn around please I'm naked, he said " don't worry mummy , I won't laugh at your boobs " .
Thanks son