To have a baby alone?

[afternoonishazy]

Or am I being ridiculous to think I could do this ... am 39 ...

Do u have family support?

No ...

If you can afford it then I think you can.

It all depends on whether you can afford the baby I’m afraid. Will you still be able to work and can you pay for childcare? Have you thought about how having a baby will impact on your life? I know people say it won’t change anything but, trust me, it does. If you have thought it thru and decided you can give a baby a good life then go for it and I wish you well.

I can afford it, but it would be extremely tight.

have you thought about how having a baby will impact on your life

Um. Yes.

I'm 41 and single and decided against this for a whole heap of reasons. But ultimately couldn't bring a child into the world knowing that they'd be forever be wondering about half their heritage, biology etc because of a decision I made. Although I know that plenty of people do it and it's fine. It's a very personal decision, good luck.

I'm 25, in a relationship and have an 11 month old DD. I couldn't have done it alone. I had a traumatic birth, EMCS and then PND which only shifted 6 months after. I had the support of my partner and my mum, and even then, I found it incredibly hard.

I think if you don't have any support then you're taking a huge risk. No one knows how their birth will go or how they'll feel after it. If you can get a support network around you then it'll be a lot more do-able.

No, if it’s what you want go for it.

Why couldn’t you? I’m alone with 4 and no family support, Ex is absent. One would be easy to me.

How will your work be when you need time off if your DC is poorly? Who can you call on if you're poorly? If you have no back up help to call on it really is very hard.

But ultimately couldn't bring a child into the world knowing that they'd be forever be wondering about half their heritage, biology etc because of a decision I made.

As someone without a dad I can't say it's every really plagued me that much.

A friend of mine has done this. She was over the moon to conceive after all sorts of health problems. She did the sums and decided she could just afford it - but she didn't bargain on twins!

I think that’s true of anybody having a child, you can’t know for sure, but I like to think I’m generally capable enough.

As someone without a dad I can't say it's every really plagued me that much

Me either.

I think the thing is, you need to think about the ‘what ifs’ which can be hard.

What if your child has additional needs and you need to stop work?

What if you get ill?

It’s not about being single, it’s about support.

I have enough money, a flexible job, fully functioning husband (not a layabout who people proclaim ‘is a great dad’) and great familial support.

Didn’t stop me nearly having a breakdown with PND and finding it nearly impossible to cope some days.

Plenty can and do abs it works out great - just have a real think.

If it’s what you really want and you think - even when giving up a load of other stuff - it’ll fulfil you more. Personally I couldn’t do it without any family or partner support and tight finances. I’d be miserable never having a break or someone to lean on when it gets tough, but I’m probably a wimp!

There's a few accounts on Instagram of women in your position that may be helpful for you to look at. As far as I'm aware they have no regrets and know who the father is as they brought the sperm from a legit company. Even if you have a baby within a marriage there's no guarantee you'll not end up alone (ok some might get financial support). Go for it if you'll regret not having children.

Plenty people manage alone. And it’s much better to be on your own than with a rubbish man!

You could also consider adoption, though I’m sure you have thought about it.

Good luck

If you think you can manage then go for it (I’m also debating this!) my mum left and I was raised solely by my dad and I turned out just fine- there’s nothing wrong with going it alone ☺️

Good Luck! ☺️

Go for it you'll regret it far more if you don't.

Couple of questions (for you to think about - no need to post answersome! :) )

Can you afford initial costs. Cheaply but clean and safe = £500.
When will you go back to work? 6 months / one year? Will you get maternity pay and will it cover all house expenses? There's not the benefit structure there once was. There is some though. Research and claim all you can.

It will be lovely to have baby btw you'll not want to go back. It's the best feeling in the world. You'll be tired but never lonely x

When you go back to work, can you afford childcare and all home expenses? You can claim back 70% of child care costs from wftc if you earn under threshold but need money up front. It takes while to come through.

It'll be wonderful. It's a great life raising kids. I don't regret a min of it. Get out of house lots. There's lots of parks and v cheap clubs out there. 50p but lovely.

I had some bad luck, but I was unwell for three months after my daughter was born. Couldn't have done it without my partner and mum - or one other person at first.

I could do it now she's four months ish, though I'm glad I didn't have to.

I wish you better luck, but think about what you'd do if, for example, you were admitted to hospital.

I can afford it, but it would be extremely tight.

^So you can’t really afford it then can you?

Can you afford childcare? If your child is sick, can you take leave at a moments notice? If you are sick who will look after your child?

I wouldn’t have a child with no support. I think you would mad to.

In your shoes I would do this!