To have a baby alone?

[afternoonishazy]

Or am I being ridiculous to think I could do this ... am 39 ...

Absolutely! I've done it alone from day one and I much prefer it. It's hard on your own of course but I wouldn't have it any other way. If I think about having another baby, I never picture having a partner in the equation.

If I was in your position I would go down the co-parenting route with a gay couple

I’ve seen this exact scenario through a friend of a friend; they’ve had their bumps but all in all I think it’s a fantastic arrangement. In your shoes I’d strongly consider this if you can find a way to do it (I think the people I’m aware of had an established friendship prior). Coming from a position of someone with one member of family the more people your potential dc has on their side in life the better.

You have to do what you feel is the best decision for you. Babies are hard but it’s impossible to convey what the weight of total responsibility coupled with the potential for exhaustion and need for endless patience is actually like or how you’ll respond. I thought I was prepared (I used to work back to back shifts in a care home for young adults with profound disabilities and naively thought that was proof of my ability) but the reality of never being completely off duty is really hard.

None of that is going to sway you though. I didn’t just want a child, I desired one and couldn’t envisage a future without one. I know children aren’t the be all but for a period (years) I thought it was never going to happen for me. Happily it did but its not an understatement to say I was devastated and I’m not sure how long it would have taken me to come to terms with it properly; I have a hunch it would have taken the menopause to properly let me move on from that ‘what if’.

If you know this is what you want in life then you have to do what you need to within the time constraints biology dictates.

Go for it. People on here are being very judgy. Just take a browse through the relationships page and you'll see loads of women having babies with crappy crappy men. You're in a much better position OP

Gosh, I would.
I always wanted children, and wasn't sure I ever wanted a partner. I told myself that if I didn't find anyone to have kids with by 30, I would start the adoption process then. I realise this is easy to say.
I met dh at 27, married at 29 and baby at 30, 32 and 35.
I'm still unsure about wanting a partner... financially it would have been so hard having 3 alone. But I would not want to be without kids in my life.

I work in child protection and if I were a child would much prefer one good parent to two horrible ones

I have been a single mother since before my son's birth. I honestly couldn't have managed without a combination of family support and flexible working. Even if you are a really strong person it is very difficult looking after a child when you have a bad illness, and it's hard when they are poorly and you have to work. I wouldn't be without my son now but it has utterly changed my life and I am so grateful to have support from my mum 3/4 days a week.

please go on the DCN website as they have a group for people trying to make a decision. If you are deciding to co-parent you do need an iron clad agreement to covers everything: holidays, education, food, etc.