To have confronted a mother smacking her child in public

[Roux95]

I was with OH in a clothes shop this afternoon looking for some bits. It was an extreme rarity for us to be child free so we were enjoying having a wander round without the double buggy!

When looking at some clothes I could hear a hysterical child having a tantrum, a hissing (parent i assume) and the sound of smacking. I looked around the racks I was browsing and sure enough a woman was knelt down at child height, hissing at the toddler to behave, smacked the child on the chest area and then went to smack the child's face but shot her hand down when she clocked that I was watching.

I was angered by what I saw and raised my voice at her to stop hitting the child, i told her we don't do that crap here (she was european - this is possibly not relevant but I know some cultures parent differently) and that her behaviour was disgusting and she should be ashamed and how would she like it if somebody her own size hit her.

This must have shocked the child as they stopped crying and the mother(?) sheepishly put the child into the pram rushed off.

OH was visibly embarrassed at being part of this confrontation but I think I was justified personally. In hindsight I think I could have said all of the above without raising my voice but my maternal instinct kicked in and I was furious for the child.

Was I being unreasonable for interesting? What would you have done?

So you're subconsciously racist op?

Nice.

I thought smacking a child around the head in any way at all was illegal, along with leaving a mark. Has been the case here in Scotland, I’m sure, and smacking full stop is becoming (or already is) illegal. On that basis, not remotely unreasonable.

On the culture/European thing, I do think that is relevant - the mother may well be from a country without the above laws, hence different perspective.

On a personal level, I got a smack on the bottom a couple of times as a young child and it upset me far less than being sent to my room at that age, so if I had seen a tap (as opposed to wallop) on the bum then I probably would have left it. But someone going for the chest and face sounds out of control and that makes it a very different thing to me.

The shite thing is that while you may have cut short this sesh, I fount the mother will change.

Good for you. She deserved to be told not to smack her. Parents only smack when they've lost control themselves.
There are other ways to deal with tantrums. X

Difficult one. I've never been a parent in this scenario, but on my way to work this morning I witnessed a child getting audibly walloped across the legs for being a bit giddy and showing a mouth full of chewed up crisp crumbs to his sister. After he and his sister had been quiet for a little time, both the young boy and his sister were crying streams of tears and his mum kept threatening to make them sleep on the streets tonight. I've felt bad for most of the day for not sticking up for those two kids and hoping the mother was bluffing/at the end of her tether.

I'm sorry for pointing out that you're wrong and 'we' do smack children 'whatever the continent', unless you think Scotland is much bigger than just one country

Decent parents don't.

@OlaEliza how do you extrapolate that from the op?

So you're subconsciously racist op?

You know what, it really says something when you comment on a parenting site about a woman hitting a child and you are attacked for racism and the rest. Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

i told her we don't do that crap here (she was european - this is possibly not relevant...

Really? Possibly not relevant? Then to whom were you referring with your 'we'? And your 'here'?

I assume, by the way, that you mean Eastern European - rather than, for example, English.

Well done for standing up for the child.

Another view on racialism, or RACISM as it seems to to be today, but violence against children it aint.

www.melaniephillips.com/why-anti-racist-mob-real-racists/

I think you were right to stand up for that child. I do however get slightly annoyed when the say "decent parents don't smack" my parents smacked me a lot and they are excellent parents. I wouldn't discipline my children that way as feel it didn't really work hence the "a lot" part and don't feel like violence solves the issues. Its also illegal now in Scotland (only part of uk to have a complete ban)

@multivac does it matter if she referred to Easter European, Western European, American or fucking Royalty? We do not hit children in a civilized society, the fact it is not illegal everywhere is shocking but the general rule in UK society is do not commit violence

Melanie Phillips has said some blatantly islamophobic comments in print so I would not respect any of her opinions she says on racism and will not take the time to read anything she says on the matter.

Oh Scotsmummy I totally hear you. I was victim of the flying Denman hairbrush on many occasions. I know the past was different, I am thrilled we have made it illegal to hit a minor. Just stunned it took so long and infact was never the law all along!

Yes, "we" do hit our children. 'Tapping', 'slapping' and all kinds of light corporal discipline for young children are absolutely commonplace in 'decent', loving households throughout Europe and beyond.

Congrats on your child free day. She didn't get one - I'm sure you would have been a much more superior parent had you had your kids with you alone all day when you had things to do.

@Chocpear I hear you loud and clear. Ms Phillips is absolutely not up your street. She loathes ISIS but not Muslims but yeah, call her Islamophobic because that is the leftist way...are you not othering her?

Just imagine what might have happened in the OP's scenario if, when coming across the parent losing it with a child, she'd have said to the parent, "hey, are you ok?", rather than, "HEY, WE don't do that HERE!"

No medals coming from me. I don't see how life will have been made better for that child or that parent by the OP's self-righteous intervention. And if nothing is going to be made better - apart from the OP's smugometer - what's the point?

If I thought it was not going off topic, I would beg, provide Melanie Phillips "blatantly islamophobic" comments. I'm all ears.

But of course not, it's not on my radar so fingers in ears, tra la alalala. Idiot.

@itwaseverthus, the piece she wrote in the Jewish Chronicle the other week, a rehash of what she has written before, was blatantly islamophobic imo.

@itwaseverthus "There is so much I loathe about Scotland and the laws the SNP have introduced."

So move? Don't live here, nobody is forcing you to...

The kid had already been assaulted. Did you read the op? And how come if a man does that to a woman it has the entire board of feminism behind it as assault but a minor, a vulnerable kid, is not the same?

@itwaseverthus, the piece she wrote in the Jewish Chronicle the other week, a rehash of what she has written before, was blatantly islamophobic imo.

Yeah, point out the actual Islamophobia please? Just saying something is Islamophobic doesn't wash with me.

@Retroflex no thanks. I will do what I want, when I want.

I will not post any more on Melanie Phillips after this to not derail the thread any further but the editor of the Jewish Chronicle felt it was necessary to write a statement the following week acknowledging many of its readers had shared their dismay and anger at her piece. She is not someone I respect and is not someone I would ever read on racism.

You did the right thing to intervene in my opinion. Ok with hindsight - you could have done it differently.

Also, regardless of people's views on smacking - you don't smack a child on the chest and potentially on the face. That is abuse imo.

In other words, NO EVIDENCE of yet another smear. Dear oh fucking dear.