To have confronted a mother smacking her child in public

[Roux95]

I was with OH in a clothes shop this afternoon looking for some bits. It was an extreme rarity for us to be child free so we were enjoying having a wander round without the double buggy!

When looking at some clothes I could hear a hysterical child having a tantrum, a hissing (parent i assume) and the sound of smacking. I looked around the racks I was browsing and sure enough a woman was knelt down at child height, hissing at the toddler to behave, smacked the child on the chest area and then went to smack the child's face but shot her hand down when she clocked that I was watching.

I was angered by what I saw and raised my voice at her to stop hitting the child, i told her we don't do that crap here (she was european - this is possibly not relevant but I know some cultures parent differently) and that her behaviour was disgusting and she should be ashamed and how would she like it if somebody her own size hit her.

This must have shocked the child as they stopped crying and the mother(?) sheepishly put the child into the pram rushed off.

OH was visibly embarrassed at being part of this confrontation but I think I was justified personally. In hindsight I think I could have said all of the above without raising my voice but my maternal instinct kicked in and I was furious for the child.

Was I being unreasonable for interesting? What would you have done?

Thank you for stopping the bitch. I couldn't care less if she was from Mars. It is despicable behaviour.

The law in the uk (except Scotland which are far more sensible in this regard) is actually that its illegal to smack your own child unless the smacking is reasonable punishment. Of course that depends what you consider reasonable.
You weren't wrong for challenging her hitting the child, I'd have done the same. You were wrong to say we don't do that here though. How did you know she was European? And which country do you believe she was even from? Someone may correct me, but I believe the uk (excluding Scotland) is actually behind other European countries in regards to fully banning smacking of children by parents.

Who cares what you said. The point is you shamed her for violence against a tiny child.

Good for you. We don't beat children, whatever the continent. It is violence against minors.

Rightfully or wrongfully, smacking is still legal in the UK (excluding Scotland) so long as the punishment is deemed reasonable and does not leave a mark.

Good for you. We don't beat children, whatever the continent. It is violence against minors.

Don't we?

Because I've lived in England all my life and witnessed smacking quite often

There is so much I loathe about Scotland and the laws the SNP have introduced. I think the best one is this. Violence against a minor is just that, violence. Lack of control of a tiny person. Sheesh. The fact we are discussing this makes me shiver.

You saved that tiny tot from getting a humiliating whack across the head in public. I think if I had been there, I would have found it hard not to fucking whack the nasty wagon myself. I would have most certainly joined in with you in telling her to stop abusing the poor child. Bitch.

Not in Scotland WorraLiberty It's been illegal for a few years and the campaign to make it so a lot longer.

Not in Scotland WorraLiberty It's been illegal for a few years and the campaign to make it so a lot longer.

Yes, that's been mentioned a few times. I said...

"Because I've lived in England all my life and witnessed smacking quite often"

I witnessed it once walking along the street. Mum, Dad, 2 little girls. The one getting the beating was about 4 and it was the Mum giving the beating. I didn't know what to do. So I did absolutely nothing. Instead I cried like a fucking idiot. I still think of that little girl.

Sorry, seems it was only enacted three months ago but the consultation has been going on for years and the public was very much involved and it brought a lot of pent up feelings to the fore. It was actually quite a healing exercise as families discussed the effect of the hair brush on the back of the head www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-49908849

Yes but I don't think the OP is in Scotland itwaseverthus?

I think you did the right thing. It's wrong to hit a child IMO and we should call out such things. Good for you OP and thank you on behalf of that child.

Apologies WorraLiberty, you English can carry on with your beatings with aplomb clear of the smear of us wishy washy Scots, forgive me for the conflation.

itwaseverthus Do you stay in Scotland?

YANBU. I confronted a grandmother verbally abusing her granddaughter at the beach one day. Her mother was there but was cleay too scared or used to it to say anything. I gave her a right mouthful. The stuff she was saying was disgusting, and heartbreaking to listen too.

The actual total ban on smacking in Scotland only became law a few months ago .I live here .the police are up in arms here asking does the first minister expect them to jail every parent who smacks there child the police say the ban in un workable .just another layer of paper work .no personally I didn't smack mine but it's not my place or anyone elses to tell others how to parent

@Glitterbug101 yes I do. I have come to the thread late and read the last page, will go back and plough religiously through the entire 100 posts now so that I may do my penance for missing some crucial detail...

Yanbu

But your choice of words were not appropriate, unless you somehow knew for sure that she wasn’t from the UK (which I doubt).

Apologies WorraLiberty, you English can carry on with your beatings with aplomb clear of the smear of us wishy washy Scots, forgive me for the conflation.

What?

"Good for you. We don't beat children, whatever the continent. It is violence against minors."

I'm sorry for pointing out that you're wrong and 'we' do smack children 'whatever the continent', unless you think Scotland is much bigger than just one country?

Whatever the rights and wrongs of smacking children is (and for the record I never smacked mine), if the OP doesn't live in Scotland then she was wrong to say "We don't do that here".

It's just a fact

Any hitting or "just a tap" is wrong ime. It is aggressive and is classed as assault if on an adult. No child deserves a smack.

If I saw a woman hit a child in the chest and then look that she was about to hit them in the face, I would have said something. However, I would not say we don’t do that here, it’s othering and making assumptions.

Not being physically violent to a tiny person is hardly parenting. It's the bare minimum of decency. Unless we are cherry picking the bits we like from the Victorian Chimney Sweeping days. Of COURSE you should not hit a little child! Why is it a nightmare when a fat toddler hits your prescious child in a play zone but ok if you do it at home?

Not enough you're judging her parenting skills when out and about enough to say your piece,

Yup so much skill involved in belting lumps out a small child when they don't do as they are told 🙄 ffs.