To have confronted a mother smacking her child in public

[Roux95]

I was with OH in a clothes shop this afternoon looking for some bits. It was an extreme rarity for us to be child free so we were enjoying having a wander round without the double buggy!

When looking at some clothes I could hear a hysterical child having a tantrum, a hissing (parent i assume) and the sound of smacking. I looked around the racks I was browsing and sure enough a woman was knelt down at child height, hissing at the toddler to behave, smacked the child on the chest area and then went to smack the child's face but shot her hand down when she clocked that I was watching.

I was angered by what I saw and raised my voice at her to stop hitting the child, i told her we don't do that crap here (she was european - this is possibly not relevant but I know some cultures parent differently) and that her behaviour was disgusting and she should be ashamed and how would she like it if somebody her own size hit her.

This must have shocked the child as they stopped crying and the mother(?) sheepishly put the child into the pram rushed off.

OH was visibly embarrassed at being part of this confrontation but I think I was justified personally. In hindsight I think I could have said all of the above without raising my voice but my maternal instinct kicked in and I was furious for the child.

Was I being unreasonable for interesting? What would you have done?

Although smacking per say is not illegal the police will act if a complaint is made although in this case obviously that’s not possible.

Not read the replies. "We don't do that crap here"

Not enough you're judging her parenting skills when out and about enough to say your piece, you bring in where you think "she's from" ie not round here.
YABU

I'm trying to get a mental image of what actually happened.

You heard a smack (thud?) and turned round to see the woman smacking the child on the chest. I say 'thud' because the child would've had a coat on or at least a thick jumper?

And then you started shouting at her that we don't do that in this country?

It's illegal to smack now and rightly so
Not in the UK, unless it's very recently changed and I'm out of the loop?
Not illegal in England as far as I'm aware.

I seen this the other day, a woman at this bus stop with a toddler in a pram. The toddler threw something into the road an the woman flipped and smacked him several times, it was so loud I turned around. I did shout over that she was wrong but she got on a bus straight away and started waving ( ) at me when she did. She was an older lady and I suspect the grandma, she was to old to have a toddler. I did wonder if she smacks the child behind the mums back.

Though it’s legal to smack in England social services take a dim view of it as I’ve known people to be reported for smacking and SS getting involved so either it should be illegal or not. As it makes no sense that it’s “legal” but you can get into trouble if you do it.

Yes lets all blame the OP for saying "we don't do that here", because that's what was the really bad thing going on wasn't it

Thank you for stopping the abuse.
I hope the parent gets more help with ending their abusive behavior.

she was too old to have a toddler
Bloody hell.
Is there a cut off date women should just stop having kids?
Could have been 50 for all you know with a toddler.

Parents who can abuse and hurt their children like this in public are terrifying if they have the audacity to do that in public what are they doing behind closed doors ?

Yes again because that’s the most offensive thing in the story!! She was elderly It was not her toddler!!

It's illegal in Scotland.

You did the right thing calling her out on her smacking her child.

Smacking and using force on a child is illegal in Ireland since 2015. It still doesn't stop some parents from smacking their children.

I realise it was the done thing generations ago but it's illegal to smack now and rightly so.

No it's not.
YWBVU. No wonder your dh was embarrassed

Yes lets all blame the OP for saying "we don't do that here", because that's what was the really bad thing going on wasn't it

Well that's what the OP's asking us to comment on. It's the whole point of her thread

It is wrong though, people have children removed for less than I witnessed today. The poor child

How do you work that out?

I think YWNBU to call her out on hitting a child in public. Not at all. Good for you.

I think YWBU for your comment about 'we don't do that here'. You can't judge by accent, skin colour, clothes, language or anything else you'd notice on first sight whether someone is British or not. And saying 'we' immediately pushes them into the category of 'other'. And that is wrong.

OH was visibly embarrassed at being part of this confrontation but I think I was justified personally. In hindsight I think I could have said all of the above without raising my voice but my maternal instinct kicked in and I was furious for the child.

In hindsight, you could have shouted at the top of your voice & brought in a marching band & still be justified.
Until you mentioned nationalities. Britons DO hit their children, you know it, everyone knows it.

But bloody well done for standing up for a child.

How do you know the mum in question was European and not British?

As soon as I read the remark about not doing that here I cringed.I believe you when you say it was in the heat of moment but it was a dodgy comment to make.You weren't wrong for confronting her though.

i told her we don't do that crap here (she was european - this is possibly not relevant but I know some cultures parent differently

Where in Europe did you live for a lengthy time to first hand observe the culture that includes smacking kids?

Where in UK culture so we not smack kids who deserve a smack?

Nowhere in the entire isles, @Asdf12345.
Because their is no such thing as a child who "deserves a smack".

Do feel free to pop round my house to "discuss like adults" if you disagree. I will provide a slideshow, & a very hands-on demonstration.

@Pingue Maybe she looked foreign or had an accent, that'd mean she isn't proper UK?
Disclaimer - not my views, just trying to get into the mindset!

You could have handed it better and the “we don’t do that here” comment was out of order but I probably would have lost my rag too

I really think your delivery of mentioning the woman's background was not necessary but I concur about intervenioning. I can't stand people watching people hitting children, to me it's utterly horrendous!
Growing up with parents from the Asian community, it was the normal for parents to hit children-my parent were the exception. Not once throughout my entire childhood, were my sibling and I ever hit.
My father once explained, when I saw someone's child being in the street, that parents who hit the their children have no respect for them.
He said that to talk to your child, explain why something is wrong, takes more time and patience and not everyone is able to deliver that message across.
I helped raise 5 children, whose parents basically dumped them on me-not once did I hit them.
Though fairly sure they all hated the very long conversation as to why the behaviour/actions happened.