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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Is this teacher being unreasonable?

306 replies

OhHolyJesus · 16/01/2020 22:46

3rd time lucky, genuinely not being goady, I'm seriously concerned reading this teacher's account and I want to share so others can be aware and see how it is from a teacher's perspective.

This is from Safe Schools Alliance:

I am utterly horrified at what was taught at a PSHE lesson at my school recently. It was to a group of children, most are 11-12 years old. It is so, so much worse than I thought.
The topic was LGBT and Diversity. The kids were taught that biological sex is your anatomy (genitals etc), however, male, female and intersex are genders and are on a spectrum. They were told that people can identify however they want -- as male or female. Some people identify as neither; some identify as non-binary. The teachers spoke about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. They explained a lesbian is attracted to ‘other women’, but it was clear that if anyone can identify as a woman then ‘other women’ may actually be men. ‘Cisgender’ was also mentioned and the kids were told that ‘a cisgender person is someone who identifies with the sex they were assigned at birth’. Sex and gender were conflated throughout the lesson and sometimes they were used as synonyms. The kids went home thinking God knows what.
The kids were also told briefly about bestiality, sex toys and masturbation. I really, truly wish that I was kidding. I don’t know who brought up bestiality but the teachers should have shut this down immediately and explained that it is inappropriate, not to mention illegal in the UK. Nothing of the sort. One of the teachers said it was a sexuality whereby some people are attracted to and have sex with animals. It was talked about like it is completely normal. The other things that were taught, were sex toys and masturbation. The kids were told about how people “pleasure themselves”, that some women use a vibrator and some men masturbate to pornography.
I feel disgusted and disheartened. I feel a lesson like that should be reported to the headteacher and the governors but I don’t think it will be dealt with appropriately. The school has form for not taking safeguarding seriously. I feel like I’m going mad and I’m wrong. I know I’m not, but it feels like it. I hope that the parents will say something. They must. Some of the boys [in our school] act a lot older than their age. They are always making inappropriate sexual comments or asking inappropriate sexual questions. I suspect some are also watching pornography online. A couple are obsessed with murder, rape [of girls], suicide and corporal punishment. The sort of PSHE lesson I witnessed will do nothing to challenge their unhealthy attitudes to sex, relationships and women.
We also have a student who is transgender. A girl who identifies as a boy. We were told to use male pronouns to use for her. There was no discussion. I don’t think this is in [the student’s] best interests but I felt unable to say anything. A teacher was reprimanded by a colleague for using ‘she’ for this girl. I [have been] forced to lie to a student. She used ‘she’ for the [transboy] and was told off by a teacher. I am being forced to actively lie. I feel that I cannot safeguard my students effectively. I am worried and scared for the kids-- especially our girls – what they’re being told and being forced to use mixed-sex toilets. At this point, I think that the only thing that will stop all this madness is some poor young girl being harmed. The local council is in meltdown. [We] have sent them two letters. They haven’t responded to the second one but from the response to the first one they don’t see any safeguarding issues. Ofsted and the DfE are on board the trans train. The DfE is funding Mermaids. Who are teachers supposed to turn to?
Teacher, 32, England

OP posts:
Retrofitted · 18/01/2020 17:08

Not verbatim, no! But I’d rather children were finding out (and this is specifically in the circumstance where they have asked what it means) from a safeguarding trained teacher than by “a two second google” search.

SarahTancredi · 18/01/2020 17:14

Really cos I'd have thought keeping them safe from people who would even talk about or practice this stuff was of higher importance.

I bloody worry about adults who even know what this stuff is let alone adults who then pass the explanation on to the children.

If its got so far that kids are even asking what bukkakke is, A term I have never ever heard in 39 years , and I read and watched movies that were way past my age rating there surely just have been a gazillion safe guarding failures to get to this point.
Acting as if its doing some major m favour in helping to keep them safe by giving disgusting practices names and being something you can discuss work your teacher at 11 is normalising it.

Adults around teachers need to be adults and keep them safe.

OhHolyJesus · 18/01/2020 17:15

In a two second google search on a web provider that has parental controls, wouldn't this be blocked?

(I know it's blocked anyway as they took it down, I don't have parental internet controls as my child doesn't go on the internet)x

OP posts:
SarahTancredi · 18/01/2020 17:15

Adults around children

Stupid auto correct

Datun · 18/01/2020 17:27

I'll give my savings if anyone can tell me how being ejaculated on by a circle of random men, in order to sell the film to other men to wank over, is liberating.

I'll double if anyone can explain to me how that is a suitable explanation for an 11-year-old girl and doesn't reek of grooming.

ClumzyOwlz · 18/01/2020 20:45

keeping them safe from people who would even talk about or practice this stuff

I get not wanting kids to know about it, but "keeping them safe from those who practice" it? Some parents themselves are into some fetish stuff, should they not have kids?

SarahTancredi · 18/01/2020 20:55

Not if they plan on routinely having multiple people round the house to wank over the mother and being loud enough to ensure half the block hears them and want to fill the kids in on their actions...perhaps get a dog..

Ididit2019 · 18/01/2020 21:31

YANBU. I was told I had to teach 7 and 8 year olds about sex Ed, part of the video was teaching them about masturbation. I was appalled and refused, on what planet do 7 and 8 year olds need to be bloody taught about something like that? There is far too much expected to be taught too young.

OhHolyJesus · 18/01/2020 22:10

Jesus ididit2019 was that in the Uk?

I don't want to think about that video. Were you under pressure to do the class?

OP posts:
Ididit2019 · 18/01/2020 22:20

Yes in the UK, I had grief from the PSHE Coordinator for refusing to deliver it but then the other teachers also took a stand against delivering it and so the school backed off and a 'softened' version was delivered instead.

OhHolyJesus · 18/01/2020 22:28

Thank goodness, well done for taking a stand. Your story is probably more common that we realise.

Do you think it's reasonable for a parent to ask the school for a lesson plan on PSHE? I'd really like to see the content, I don't see how else I would be reassured, seeing as I would need to be able to trust them with my child 5 days a week.

OP posts:
Sunkisses · 19/01/2020 06:44

@Ididit2019 thank you for making a stand, as a teacher. Would you consider getting in touch with Safe Schools Alliance and writing it up anonymously for them? As PP said, I bet there are loads more stories like this. People keep saying 'this never happens'. It does! Parents, be vigilant!

SaphfireRose · 19/01/2020 08:12

OP, so you are copying something that someone (probably someone trying to cause trouble) posted anonymously? And you really truly believe it? There is one born every day.

SaphfireRose · 19/01/2020 08:30

It's from safe schools alliance, yes it's true.

Are you really serious? You actually believe anything is automatically true on there?

karencantobe · 19/01/2020 08:44

I think if it was totally true, Some parents would have been protesting. Look on here at the petty things people are up in arms about with the school.

Datun · 19/01/2020 08:56

Not sure why people are so determined it can't be true, when Safe schools alliance have verified the source. Unless you think they are liars.

And when Warwickshire county council, at least, have far worse on their website for children. Since taken down, but completely verified and written up in the national press.

SaphfireRose · 19/01/2020 09:05

Not sure why people think 'Safe Schools Alliance' has ANY credibility. They are as deceitful and manipulative as all other far-right/Christian sites. The very fact it was on the so-called 'Safe Schools Alliance' is enough for it to be dismissed.

thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul · 19/01/2020 09:10

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/about/

SaphfireRose you're mixing them up with another organisation

karencantobe · 19/01/2020 09:17

I believe the stuff about Warwickshire Council, which is why it has been taken down. I believe teachers have been asked to teach stuff and said no. And yes teachers will have explained things in response to questions kids ask. that is par for the course. Contrary to what some parents think, kids hear about a lot of things early on and have questions.

But if 7 and 8 year olds were being taught about masturbation, then parents would be complaining. Although I always wonder what being taught about means.

SaphfireRose · 19/01/2020 09:24

thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul No, I'm not. They are transphobic and using that stop any progressive agenda. I've read up on them and read their site, and it affirms my views on them. The fact 'lifesitenews' and other far-right organisations cover their articles is enough for me, then there is the OP's name, which (though I may be wrong, but with all things added up....) seems to suggest a religious attitude. 'Safe Schools Alliance' seem to be a far-right/Christian blog, masquerading as 'child safety' when their agenda is obvious. They won't have any qualms bending the truth, to omission, to outright lies, if it suits their purpose. If they told me grass was green I would have to check. Same as I don't believe anything from Lifesitenews or any other far right Christian site, I wouldn't believe anything at all whatsoever on the 'Safe Schools Alliance'.

Datun · 19/01/2020 09:28

SaphfireRose

That's some pretty defamatory stuff in your comments, there. They are not affiliated to any religious group. None.

Can you point to anything, at all, to back up what you're saying?

OhHolyJesus · 19/01/2020 09:31

I can't tell you now Saphire that my username is a p*sstake and I am an atheist.

Safe Schools Alliance clearly state that they have no religious or political affiliation. Their only interest is the safeguarding of children.

Why are you trying to undermine this with a non-evidenced based attack?

You can think what you like about SSA, you can think they are a satanic organisation or a druids organisation, you can't think what you like honestly, you crack on.

I will think that you are a disruptor and making up stories, perhaps for your own agenda. I know others who have an agenda around children too.

OP posts:
SaphfireRose · 19/01/2020 09:32

It's a pity they didn't share screenshots of the materials. It would be more effective at reaching people.
No one ever does though, LordOfTheWhys. Hence why they don't exist. So many people say kids are taught this and that, but when pressed, the person got it from an 'anonymous' source, and no one can ever provide any actual facts. And yet, people just willingly believe it!

SaphfireRose · 19/01/2020 09:34

@Datun I never said they were affiliated with a religious group, so it's not me being defamatory.

Also, can you and the OP point to any actual facts to back up your assertions, other than hearsay?

karencantobe · 19/01/2020 09:34

It is because often the things taught are in fact answering questions kids have. So I believe a kid would ask what is bestiality. That is answering a question, not teaching about bestiality. And there would be no teaching materials around bestiality.

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