AIBU to ask what those of you who are happy with your lives do?

[Elle7rose]

Just that really...

• What job do you have?
• Do you have a partner/DH/kids?
• Are you financially very well off?
• Are you in good health?

• Or is it just an attitude?

I HATE my commute (too long, too expensive, spent too much time on MN to kill time )

otherwise I am as happy as anyone who needs to work for a living!
Married, 4 kids, doing ok financially, medium size house, big mortgage. I am in recruitment, it's fun.
If I win the lotto tomorrow, I am never going back to work!

Local government, 18.5 hours a week for me. 1x hubby (full time work, manager) 1 x toddler, 1x Labrador. Financially quite well off ish I guess.... 2 cars, holidays, own our home. All enjoy good health- fingers crossed.

I think it’s a state of mind though, in a way. 4 years ago I was full time, no children, no mortgage, no husband, lots of travelling. Still very happy.

I am a freelance writer and work from home while the kids (late primary/ early secondary school)are at school and sometimes when they are at home. It is a job I enjoy and I like the variety, also the things I write are helpful to a particular group of people I think so I feel fulfilled socially as well. Have DH, we rarely argue, come from the same place politically and socially, coming up 14 years married. Not really well off - I bring in about 22,000 before tax and DH the same. Sometimes I feel I should be earning more as most of my friends probably earn shedloads more, but I am also very happy being around with the kids so much, and being able to call my time my own - eg go to gym in middle of day if I want. I'm generally healthy but have low level niggles which sometimes flare up, par for the course in late 40s I think.

Both DH and I retired, no kids or grandkids, one cat, health ok-ish, no mortgage and enough to live on with the occasional treat. But I am on antidepressants and not sure I could function without them.

I'm very happy.
I work part time as a PA (not stressful, lovely colleagues, hours fit in with kids)
I'm happily married with 2 kids
Thanks to my husband's job we don't have money worries
Health - I honestly don't know if I'm healthy. I've had cancer and am not feeling great at the mo but hoping it's nothing serious. Health is my only worry

• What job do you have? - Teacher
• Do you have a partner/DH/kids?- yes dh, two dc
• Are you financially very well off? - well we’re not loaded but we are mortgage free, have good savings and own a second property.
• Are you in good health? Yes- thank god!! although I would like to loose a stone ideally

Work in the baby room at a nursery. Terrible pay but I absolutely love it. We are based on a farm so have a pleasant environment and get out in the fresh air every day.

I'm divorced, have three teenage daughters and a much-loved dog. Not much spare cash but I'm content.

I have my own business which can be stressful at times but the benefits outweigh it.
2 dds, one xh who I get on well with, several holidays a year, not loaded but comfortable and very happy being single. Fabulous parents and sibling, lots of good friends, in good health and feel good about myself mentally and physically.
My business is very sociable so I spend a lot of my day chatting so even on the nights I dobt have my dds I'm quite content with my own company

• What job do you have? I'm a physicist
• Do you have a partner/DH/kids? Yes DH, no kids, one dog
• Are you financially very well off? Do pretty well, live in the north so money goes further on housing, no financially draining kids. Only been this way in the last few years for me; I used to teach and was single, so I was povvo!
• Are you in good health? No. Only real bugbear tbh. I haven't been looking after myself very well lately either.

Lovely husband/ family/friends.

I used to love my job but after 30 years the NHS I’m just exhausted with it all. Far too early to retire. Not sure what else I could do that would pay the mortgage/bills.

Just that really...

• What job do you have? Diplomat
• Do you have a partner/DH/kids? DH and kids. All lovely.
• Are you financially very well off? Yes, but not through my job!
• Are you in good health? Sadly not. However our financial situation means I can throw money at the problem - private health, cleaners, nanny etc. and it makes it more bearable.

I'm pretty happy though though somewhat stressed by work. Fascinating and intellectually stimulating work, which has a positive impact on my country and the world. I also take time for my hobbies and charity work and these make me very happy..

I think there is a degree of attitude, I've had some pretty crap things happen, but I can appreciate what I have and where I have been lucky.

Married to my DH and best friend for 18 years. Have a wonderful relationship with my DSS and his other family, my own family is kind and loving and we are very close. Retired and in our mid 40's. House paid for. Currently travelling around the world slowly in our boat with our dog. We have enough money not to worry and that's enough for us. We laugh every day and try and do Kind things for others every day. The last thing he says at night is 'night night, love you' and in the morning I get a coffee in bed with a 'morning love, how did you sleep?'. Apart from being retired early every other thing was the same even when working shitty jobs. Make sure you live as happy and good a life as you can. Be kind. Give more than you take but with appropriate boundaries so you aren't walked over. Try and laugh or at least see the funny side of life whenever possible. And if life is really shite try and have at least 1 good friend who will put the kettle on and get the biscuit tin out. Preferably chocolate ones.

Sales specialist with high targets, exceptionally high pressured role but with that I have the perks... Fine dining, luxury hotels, big bonuses, work hours I want when I want. but you'll get fired if you don't deliver, instantly. I travel air, plane , train, 20 hours+ a week and constantly head down reading, learning, keeping me at the top of my game and expertise.

Yes hubby 2kids. Can't wait to stop the school run..much that I love the primary school years. It provides a real limitation and from a poor background, I had no idea private schools with long day hours and wrap around care was a thing. I just opted into state but could have done with proper day boarding.

I'm financially well off, but milking my golden years career wise whilst I can. I don't get time to stop and think. I'm constantly in the gym, in music rehearsal room on my violin, or working. Im happy, positive but I'm not at peace as sometimes I just want to sit, watch TV, get fat and do absolutely nothing. So though I'm happy, I'm not content. And probably a product and suffering of my own making as I've found very few whose matched my accomplishments. I'm blessed with job opportunities that people think I'm mad to turn down. And those men I've met who are very accomplished...tend to personality traits that appear very difficult to be with or live with.

Job - surgeon
DP - of five years now
Kids - 1 now at Uni
Earn enough to pay the bills and holidays
Health - excellent ( to the best of my knowledge )

I'm a teacher, but part-time and mostly self-employed. I'm happily married with 2 dc, a dog and a cat. Not rich but not hard-up. Don't have much of a social life, nor do I really want to!
I reckon the reason I'm fairly happy is that me, my dh and dc and all our extended family have good relationships and get on really well. Also, both being teachers, we can live anywhere, so we chose somewhere we really like. No serious illnesses, bereavements or difficulties with the dc. Just lucky so far, I guess.

Happiness is not the presence of things - house, car, money, DH etc - but the absence of things: loneliness, stress, pain, lack of control, sarcasm, criticism.

• What job do you have?

Old fashioned secretary which I love

• Do you have a partner/DH/kids?

DH of 20 years. No DC. Wasn't meant to be. But life is still great.

• Are you financially very well off?

We do okay.

• Are you in good health?

I have a chronic condition but it doesn't affect me at all (for now...)

• Or is it just an attitude?

It's not just an attitude but I was also happy when I was single and broke and in a job I hated. So yes, I think it depends on your mindset.

What job do you have?
Full time SEN teacher, 18 years in, SLT.

Do you have a partner/DH/kids?
With DH 20 years, married 15. One child by choice. All three of us are introverts and happy as a small family.

Are you financially very well off?
Both teachers but mortgage free so have some spare cash and a lot of time.

Are you in good health?
Feel fine, although overweight and unfit.

PartiallyStars

Sorry to derail but how do you get into freelance writing? I've just quit my job and writing is the only other thing I'm good at - would love to do it!

I am generally quite happy with life.

I have a career I love and that I’ve put a lot of time and training into getting. I also work somewhere where I feel really supported and have great colleagues. I have a long commute though, which is the trade off for the good career.

I have a dh and a happy marriage, and 2 dc (who are mostly no trouble), most importantly, dh and I share things really equitably and my career and interests are just as important as his.

Health is mostly okay (hasn’t always been great and that was admittedly tough). We are financially comfortable and don’t really have to budget or think too much about spending. I just spend what I like (though nothing extravagant, but being able to buy food shopping and get a coffee and get a full tank of petrol without checking your balance removes a lot of stress from life).

It’s definitely not all attitude! Having life be the way you’d hoped it would be and having an easy time of things (whether that’s achieved through hard work or luck) makes a huge difference. I was definitely not as happy as I am now when I was single or stressed about money or job prospects or whatever.

University lecturer
DH and three DC (age 10 to 14)
Yes, DH's job is well paid. But not family wealth or anything like that
Yes

I do think it's partly a mindset though. I've always been happy even when these weren't the same as they are now. I'm a naturally positive person

• What job do you have?

Midwife - it’s probably not the ideal job for me. I have some difficulties with it, and, as with all public sector jobs I’m sure, the expectations with what little we receive in the way of funding and staffing are quite frankly hilarious. However I am passionate about what we are trying to do, so put what I can into it.

• Do you have a partner/DH/kids?

Husband and a toddler. DH is very hands on and takes on a lot of the household responsibilities. It’s very much an equal partnership (or maybe I do less?!).

• Are you financially very well off?

No. We have basically no savings (buying a house, having a wedding, and having a baby in the space of a year, and having very expensive hobbies, has basically crippled us) so if anything happens that will cost us more than a few hundred pounds in one go, we are essentially buggered. But we do have financially supportive parents who I know would bail us out in such an emergency so I guess we know we’ve got a safety net.

• Are you in good health?

Yes. We live a very active and outdoorsy lifestyle.

I pretty much have everything I’ve ever wanted. A cottage in a very tiny village, animals, a happy child, a loving husband, enough money to get by, and enough free time (because we prioritise it) to exercise and get outdoors. It’s a pretty simple life and that’s exactly how we’ve always wanted it.

Disquieted

Very true.

• What job do you have?

Senior level role in a great company

• Do you have a partner/DH/kids?

My DH died a few months ago but I have great kids

• Are you financially very well off?

Yes

• Are you in good health?

I think so

Despite my loss I’m not unhappy, I’m grateful to have a good life I just need to find my way a bit

I’m a nurse, not the most well paid but I love my job and have job satisfaction. My parter is an engineer so significantly better paid than me. Financially stable and able to treat ourselves, that’s lately due to living in Scotland so no where near the cost of living in the south east of England.
Both in good health but I know how quickly that can be taken away from you so very grateful for the life I have just now.