Dh thinks I should make his lunch

[williams345]

Name change for this because I'm fuming,
Dh keeps moaning that I don't make his lunch for work , I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house. Why doesn't he make my lunch ?
I keep saying to him we are not in the 19th century just because I'm a women doesn't mean I HAVE to make your lunch. He has hands why can't he make it himself and in the past when I did used to make his lunch if I ever missed a day he would rather spend money on McDonalds etc than to not be lazy and make his own lunch !

Give him the list of everything you do , write the list of everything he does ... ask him what jobs he will take of you to allow time for you to make him lunch and then you will happily do so.

I would also use it as an opportunity to ensure even distribution of jobs and thank him for raising the inequality ... make this back fire for the lazy sod 😉

He might just want a bit of fussing some men are babyish, even though they love their children. I think sometimes they get jealous of the amount of attention the children get. X

Tell him to piddle off.

Do people actually love their partners/spouses anymore?
It all seems more of a business arrangement on MN - I will only do something for them if I get something back in return.

'Do people actually love their partners/spouses anymore?
It all seems more of a business arrangement on MN - I will only do something for them if I get something back in return.'

I don't think it's that, so much as people don't want men taking the piss, as a lot of them have from the dawn of time.

You're not a 1950's housewife, so tell him he's a dick and make his own!

My mum is 78 every night she'd make my dad's pack up and she'd have to have his tea ready when he got home from work. She still thinks should happen now 😠

Your poor DH. He should never have fired his valet when he married you. Is there any way he would come back to work for him?

I love my partner, been together 34 years, and have never made a lunch in all that time. Both work full time and are capable of sorting ourselves out. As my mum would say "do they have rag arms" meaning incapable.

Partner diffinition 'either of a pair of people engaged together in the same activity.'

It's not a partnership if only one person is engaged in all the activities, and the other sits on his arse.

Sitting on your arse isn't reciprocal love, running yourself into the ground for someone else isn't love. Having to have an exact ticklist of tasks isnt love either.

Love DH to bits.

Happy to let him cross the road to the coop and stock up on tins of soup and red stickered baguettes, though, with red stickered pizza for weekend lunches when I'm usually out with one of the boys. I prepare him a delicious dinner, most nights.

My dd makes her partners packing up for work. It annoys the hell out of me. They both work full time, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t do it himself. This is after she’s made the evening meal and sorted the kids out.

I adore DH. We’ve been together since our teens, and we’re now mid-40s. It’s never once occurred to me to make his lunch.

What did his last slave die of?! Oh yeah, you have a vagina so it is your issue or so he thinks. I am sure he is capable of sticking some meat or cheese with some salad in some bread. It sounds like you have more than enough to do. As others have said you aren't his mother but to be fair l wouldn't do this for grown up children anyway.

I make dh sandwiches every night and he get's a love note to go with it. He's up at 5am, home around 6pm. I work 5 hours per day. If i'm feeling crappy/tired/can't be arsed, he'll make them no problem. I do it, cause I have a lot more time. We're a partnership, he does loads at home. The minute he expects it, would be the minute I stop. He is very grateful.
I also get a love note back
( 2 ch together 0ver 20 years )

Give him a cutted up pear.

I'm probably in the minority but I don't see the big deal.
If you make the children's lunch, what's an extra sandwich.

FWIW I work and do the lions share of the housework. My DH leaves at 5 am
often not returning home until 8ish pm.
I make him a packed lunch every day. It really isn't an issue.

SandyBanana - I think it is the expectation that is the problem.

Have you ever considered his refusal to make his own lunch is his issue, not yours? As you point out, he has his own hands, so surely if he choses not to use them that is his problem, not yours.
Slavery has been officially abolished. As much as he might love to have a slave, he is more than capable of making his own food. Perhaps offer to make him his food if he makes the food for you and the kids? Or to take it in turns?
The trouble a lot of the 'working' partners have is only valuing their work because it brings money. If you weren't doing childcare you could be out making money too and you would both be paying money to someonw else to look after the children. So maybe value yourself and your contribution to the relationship.

Dh works really long hours and I just make extra dinner and he has the leftovers for lunch. Saves a fortune.

Omg you are so not being unreasonable. What century does he think it is? I have never made my husband's lunch in the 12 years we have been together. We share housework, cooking etc fairly evenly but always do our own lunches.

It often comes as a surprise to women how many men think that having a wife is not significantly different from having a servant. We think we are forming a partnership and they think they have chosen staff.

If he would swap having his lunch made for doing breakfast club and childcare drop off I would. Only under those circumstances though. And I would tell him the swap needs to last a month, he can’t suddenly rediscover his opposable thumb and decide he could make a sandwich himself in desperate measures, he’s morning childcare parent now.

each and every time he brings up that friends wife makes his lunch, reply that friend must have a better earning job so his wife can stay home to make his lunch

And you are happily married to this man?

A ‘cutted up pear’ is the answer all life’s dilemmas.

If that doesn’t work, the quartered jam sandwich and half a dozen grapes should help him drag himself out of the 1950s.