Dh thinks I should make his lunch

[williams345]

Name change for this because I'm fuming,
Dh keeps moaning that I don't make his lunch for work , I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house. Why doesn't he make my lunch ?
I keep saying to him we are not in the 19th century just because I'm a women doesn't mean I HAVE to make your lunch. He has hands why can't he make it himself and in the past when I did used to make his lunch if I ever missed a day he would rather spend money on McDonalds etc than to not be lazy and make his own lunch !

Before dh got ill, I made DH's lunch and iron his shirts 😱 but he does make me a coffee every morning and brings it to me in bed and then fills my travel mug. He also does a lot of house cleaning whilst I'm ironing on a Sunday, we pop on Alexa have a boogie and just get on with it 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd do it once and I'd do him exactly what your DC has. Little kids get their lunch made by mummy so make him a little kid's lunch: tiny yogurt pot, cut up apple pieces in foil with a drop of lemon juice, quartered peanut butter sandwich, mini pack of gummy bears or tiny teddy biscuits and Capri sun drink for his playtime. Put it in a Spiderman lunchbox.

He'll get the message!

Does he think you are his mum?

And that he is still six-years-old?

Just make his lunch, it won't take long. make him happy.and he might do something nice for you too.. All this fuming and annoyance is not good for you.

Why can't he make her lunch? It won't take long, it'll make her happy and it's nice for him to do something nice for her.

I'm on mat leave, I make DH lunch, but i do it because i dont need to get up and dressed so have more time of a morning, plus i do it while he gets DS (3) dressed (fair enough). But most importantly: i am not letting him slice my loaf all wonky. On weekends we have two loaves so i let him butcher one however he likes . The man just can't slice straight.

Is he asking that you give him a hand getting ready rather than sleeping? Does he get up early and leave early? Is he running around trying to get ready whilst you’re laying in be sleeping? Part of me gets why he might have asked if you’re in bed whilst he’s getting ready. Also if you’re making sandwiches for a lunch box already you could easily make some for him at the same time. However if he’s trying to makes you do it because he just wants you to do it then that’s not on.
Does he do all of the typical man things around the house taking bins out l, mowing lawn etc? Does he feel he’s already contributing to the house that way? However if his only contribution is to earn money he should make his own lunches or get a different wife!

Op the expectancy, ignorance and demand from you DH is horrific. You are not a slave or a maid and we are not in the early 1900’s!

Me and my OH make each others lunch equally, or at least prep it for the next day. we do not ask each other to do this. We do not expect it. He makes me a coffee for when I wake up as he sets off earlier than me. I’m grateful and I tell him this but I wouldn’t ever ask or expect it if he didn’t!

You should not be making this rude pig yours. Tell him you expect him to make yours and then when he says no ask him why he doesn’t think this is expected of him.

*his, not yours!

My ex husband used to go on about this too. He’d also fuss because he didn’t like bread or pasta. I don’t miss this sort of crap.

DH makes his own

This is a wakeup call @williams345

If you act like a 50s housewife in other ways like doing all the washing, childcare and housework then why wouldn't he think you are up for being 50s housewife for lunches? Start splitting all the other chores now. Kiss goodbye to your own mentality that gives him so many opt outs.

Make lunches the night before. You make him his lunch, while he get dinner ready

A marriage should be an agreed partnership in the framework of being kind and generous to each other.

Sounds like you need to talk together

Oh I am embarrassed for him.
Its pathetic that a grown man wont make his own lunch.
I am not sure I could look at DP the same way if he whined at me like that. Its pathetic.

I’d take the piss out of the colleague instead.

‘So and so’s wife always makes his butties’
‘Why? Has he got hooks for hands or something? Useless bastard!’

And refer to him as Captain Hook from hereon in.

Just treat the whole situation as being as ridiculous as it is. Far better than getting worked up over it. And hopefully your H will wind his neck in.

I've always made my husband's lunch. He takes it for granted. When I was ill and couldn't do it, he went ape shit. Don't do it, it will be something he expects, and you won't get a thank you.

I was discussing who makes lunches with my DS yesterday. He was saying two of his mates make their own, they are 11 years old!

I think your Fully grown adult husband can manage to make his own.

I make my husband his lunch whilst I do my own, after he's made tea

You need to divvy up the household jobs better, your DCs need to see you working as a team. By the way 'you' is both of you, he needs to start stepping up.

How long have you been married?
Who makes his lunch now?

I like the ‘hooks for hands’ idea tbh!

I make the packed lunches while DH washes up from dinner. I would not be making his if he was sat on his arse doing nothing. I make four packed lunches a day for me and the kids, so no real problem to add his. Our food budget spirals out of control if we’re all buying lunches, so there is a practical element to it. But I wouldn’t do it just because he (or his family) thought it was my duty. I feel free not to make it if the kids are all on hot dinners.

I love the picture frame idea, you should definitely do that.

I personally would make my husband lunch, just be nice to be honest.

It's nice to be kind to people.

I'd also go along with making him the same lunch as dd.
Pepper pig yoghurt. Billy Bear or Barbie sandwich cut into tiny triangles with the crusts cut off. A cheese string. A Frozen chocolate bar, and chopped up fruit out into the most girly, pink, sparkly bag you can find preferably a Frozen one of LOL one, or Dora the Explorer.
Let his workmates laugh at him, he'll soon get the message.

I'd then start making lots of comments about the fittest bloke you know, the one who appears to be a perfect husband.
"Oh Sue is soooooooo lucky. Imagine being married to Tom. He makes her breakfast in bed, sends her flowers to work, takes the dc to school, decorated the house. In top of that all the women fancy him. Imagine waking up with him beside you every morning! No wonder Sue always looks disshevelled! I bet she can't keep her hands off him."
Rinse and repeat every single time.

I take it you've pointed out the major difference between you and his mate's wife, i.e. that you work and she doesn't? What does he say about that?