Dh thinks I should make his lunch

[williams345]

Name change for this because I'm fuming,
Dh keeps moaning that I don't make his lunch for work , I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house. Why doesn't he make my lunch ?
I keep saying to him we are not in the 19th century just because I'm a women doesn't mean I HAVE to make your lunch. He has hands why can't he make it himself and in the past when I did used to make his lunch if I ever missed a day he would rather spend money on McDonalds etc than to not be lazy and make his own lunch !

I do remember my boss when I was in my early twenties having a right old whinge because his wife had given him jam sandwiches “jam is for kids”
I was like “if you don’t like it then you know what you can do.” He refused to make his own sandwiches. I told him he had to put up with it then.

@Lsquiggles exactly that! I don't know how he's not embarrassed.

@ButterflyBitch jam sandwiches are for kids and having someone make your lunch for you is for kids

I make my husbands lunch every day. He has a really stressful job and if I make his lunch it's one less think for him to have to deal with during the day. He makes me a cup of tea every morning and has my breakfast set up and ready to go. To me it's just a kind thing to do.

That's obviously different if he's offering back kind gestures.

My own mum and dad work this way. She's a carer for her elderly ill parents. He's FT. She'll do his packed lunches and iron his shirts, he will cook tea some days, and make her cups of tea every day. He buys her little gifts quite a lot too.

I'll never forget dhs sister texting me once before her dh and mine went off fishing for the day "I'll make the lunches,what sort of sandwiches does dh like?"

I responded "I dunno why not text him? Or he can just make his own".

Op that's so the answer! Do him jam sandwiches, pom bears, iced gems and a fruit shoot

Context is the key. Yes he can make it himself just as you are capable of doing things for yourself. However in a partnership most end up doing things for each other so if he does nothing for you then yes tell him to do his own lunch and why but if he works more, does x y and z for you etc then it’s not a big deal to make an extra if making one anyway.

When my DP is here one of us will make lunches for both of us whilst the other does the dishes / clears up after dinner. If he's doing some other chore whilst you make lunch for you and your daughter I'd do his as well. But it sounds like its I am a man, therefore a woman must make my food, in which case he can fuck right off

My dp makes his own packed lunch, then he decides what goes in it. He also does his own washing and ironing, cos he does it the way he likes it done.

Op just for perspective, my dh makes my lunch, we are in our 30s. Although if he didn't want to one day I wouldn't bat an eyelid and would just do my own.

I make dinner most evenings because I'm home a bit earlier, but again if I didn't dh would just make something or we'd get takeaway.

What squatdowndiddly said with the turd wrap!

Bread+ham+mustard+bread=lunch. He can likely do that on his own.

DH often makes lunch for both of us. He also makes dinner most nights. Yours is a sexist wanker.

I honestly read MN and wonder how all these disgusting misogynistic pigs managed to find women to put up with them.

This. I don't even make my tween son's lunch and he has high-functioning autism and ADHD. We put together a list of shopping for things he wants for his lunch, we go together to the supermarket, he selects and puts it in the basket and he works the card to pay for it. He sets a reminder on his phone to prep it and gets up early enough to put it together. He has a GoHenry, too, and earns pocket money. Because the point of having kids is that they hopefully grow the fuck up to become adults who don't expect another person to wait on them. As I told him, 'Hopefully I will die before you, that is the natural order, and it is my job to teach you the best I can to look after yourself.'

Tell him to call his mate's wife then.

What a toe rag.

I often make a pack lunch for DH but I use it as way of reducing food waste and he gets some very odd combinations. He will occasionally say he doesn't like something but in general its a good way of clearing the fridge out. He will often get something like leftover pasta bake, which he has no means of reheating but doesn't mind, an odd combination would a some mash potato with salad and a boiled egg.
A lunch of his choice he'd have to make himself.

My husband makes his own lunch. He also buys all the ingredients. Wouldn’t even cross his mind to ask me. Sorry OP, you’ve got one of the useless ones.

I understand it's a kind thing to do and I have done it in the past but now he has expected me to do it makes me angry and never want to do it again
My guess is because he's turned up with no lunch his friend that always has his lunch made has made a comment to him about me not making his
It's the fact I've been made to feel like I'm not good enough because I haven't been his lunch. I just grab a cereal bar and apple or choc bar for my lunch

Your the second wife today I've seen on a thread where her dh has compared her to other dh wife's.

You are you, you are not another women. And I wouldn't have a second of this comparing shit.

Straight up tell him I bet you work Colleagues give their wife's better dick too.

If I was organised and made lunches the night before I would probably make DH same sandwiches as the kids. Or, more likely, I'd convince him to do them all! As it is I always forget about lunches until 8.25 Friday morning (they have school lunch every other day) and throw them together in a hurry long after DH has left. He'll happily have no lunch at all if he doesn't have time to make a sandwich.

When mil met fil she made his lunch as requested. Filled the box with sarnies and love notes.
He never asked again...
Worth a try op?!

"Dh, my friend's husband is earning 5 times what you are! Why aren't you earning 5 times as much dh? WHY AREN'T YOU EARNING WHAT MY FRIEND'S DH IS, DH? YOU SHOULD BE EARNING MORE BECAUSE SOME OTHER MAN IS, DH!!!"

I’m a SAHM and not only do I not make my DH’s lunch, But HE makes the packed lunches for the kids. And gives them breakfast. He’s even made me a packed lunch when I’ve been accompanying the kids on school trips.

Don't let him make you feel bad. He should feel bad for treating you like staff.

I honestly don't know how these men can actually believe the shit that comes out of their mouths

DP makes my lunches. I think I'm largely a fully functioning adult - but he works fewer hours than I do and it makes getting up at 5am that much more tolerable.

@Graciebutterfly I agree.

OP if he would like a wife who makes his lunch every day, there are many dating websites he can sign up to. I'd love to see how many replies he gets from women wanting to be his wife with 'must make daily packed lunch for me' in his profile

Whoever isn't doing bedtime does the washing up and makes lunch here. So I do make probably 50% of the lunches. It should be split equally, or if he really doesn't want to make lunch he do some other chore.