Is using disabled toilets to avoid awkward interactions in gendered toilets U?

[Crazyoldmaurice]

Yanbu - no
Yabu - yes

Just seen something online where someone who is 'non binary' has said they have bought a radar key so they can use disabled toilets to avoid awkward interactions and dont feel safe in using either the ladies or gents toilets. Whats the stance on this?

I personally feel that disabled and accessible toilets are there for those who need them due to accessibility reasons only and shouldn't be used by anyone else. I can equally see how using the gents might not feel safe but feel like the awkwardness of using the ladies should be endured considering how awkward someone needing the disabled toilets might feel if they didnt make it in time due to an orherwise able bodied person using their toilet.

Thoughts?

VU. the nonbinary person should just scuttle straight in & out of a cubicle, avoiding any possibilities for eye contact, in whichever of M/F toilets they feel less uncomfortable in. Disabled toilets are for people whose difficulties go well beyond "awkward interactions".

They are being unreasonable. Being uncomfortable is not the same as having a disability.

Though, in their defence, plenty of places stick 'gender inclusive' signage onto disabled loos to keep the mob quiet. Bugger the actual people with disabilities who need to use them.

Tricky, but I think ultimately they're being unreasonable.

Sadly, being at risk of aggression or violence in the toilet is not a disability. It happens to loads of people. Men get beaten up by other men, usually, but women can be awful too, and you occasionally hear of men going into the women's loos in order to scare or hurt women there.

FWIW my DP, who isn't at all non-binary, has been mistaken for a man in the women's loos and treated to some quite nasty comments.

I think we need to work to make toilets nicer and safer (and having individual lockable cubicles would solve 99% of things). But I don't think this is a fair solution really.

Disabled toilets are for those who have disabilities. They are there as a convenience to others.

Sorry they aren't there as a convenience to others!

maybe the snowflake gender brigade should campaign for a fourth category of toilet, if they’re uncomfortable using male/female and are not disabled.

They are being very unreasonable. Disabled toilets are for people with disabilities... and are usually unisex anyway.

I can equally see how using the gents might not feel safe but feel like the awkwardness of using the ladies should be endured

*Using the women’s toilet should be endured if the person using them is female.

People who call themselves the utterly meaningless term 'non binary' are not disabled on the basis of their identity, and should use the provision provided for their sex. Male NBs should use the male provision and female NBs should use female provision.

A person calling themselves NB who also has an actual disability can use the disabled facilities on the basis of their disability, not their NB label.

This is not difficult.

Disabled loos are in general for disabled people, but I think it's ok if transwomen or transmen use them in order to avoid upsetting people by using the toilets of the opposite sex. However, non-binary is bullshit - I have never met a single person who conforms to every gender stereotype/trope associated with either their birth sex or assumed gender. Therefore "non-binary" attention seekers folk should use the loo of their biological sex and stop using facilities intended for genuinely disabled folk.

Bugger pressed the wrong one!

YANBU.

Being NB is not a disability.
Use the toilet relating to your sex. Leave your feeling as the door as you dont pee with your feelz.

They are being U - those toilets already often double up as baby change. Tbh I think a lot of this is about theoretical ‘uncomfortable’ encounters rather than ‘lived experience’. Sounds like victim top trumps.

I don't understand how anyone would know that the person is non binary? Just by seeing them in a toilet? Surely just go into the cubicle and use the toilet.

They are being unreasonable.

I’m not really sure which way I should be voting on the poll though!

I think I would have to ask the individual if they consider their gender to be a disability or not.....and then take them into a hospital or school with special needs students so that they develop a real understanding of what a disability actual is. To be honest the very fact that an individual has gone to the trouble of purchasing a RADAR key epitomizes what is wrong in society with its self centred attitude. I dont think anyone should be able to buy a RADAR key, I think you should only be eligible for one either via the GP with certain medical conditions or linked to disability benefits. Everywhere that has a RADAR toilet also has someone with a key that can be requested in the case of short term disability that makes standard sized cubicles difficult such as broken legs.

Maybe instead of the male/female picture depicting male and female toilets we should have a penis or vaginas image and you go in whichever one is anotomically correct t for you?

VU. As pp said disabled toilets are often doubled up already, the queue doesn’t need to be made any longer by someone just because they feel uncomfortable. As for a man using the women’s and vice versa because they’ve deemed themselves whatever gender and don’t feel comfortable using the other, how is this fair on everyone else using the toilet? Why should they make other people feel uncomfortable just to satisfy themselves? They should use whichever toilet matches their private parts.

Perhaps we could change toilet labels to urinals and cubicles rather than gents and ladies.
Doubling up on disabled toilet/baby changing just means not enough of either as both these groups are likely to spend more time doing what they need to do than able bodied adults and older children.

Toilets are segregated by sex. Non-binary people are either male or female and should use the appropriate toilet for their sex. Accessible toilets are for people who cannot use the general male or female toilets because of a disability or health issue.

If NB people are not happy with the options provided they should campaign for third spaces, just like disabled people campaigned for accessible toilets.

Disabled loos are in general for disabled people, but I think it's ok if transwomen or transmen use them in order to avoid upsetting people by using the toilets of the opposite sex.

Are you disabled?

Maybe instead of the male/female picture depicting male and female toilets we should have a penis or vaginas image and you go in whichever one is anotomically correct t for you?

Not uncommon in parts of the USA.

As a disabled person, the toilets being used by someone for "convenience" is completely unacceptable to me.

I am aware of hidden disabilities, but what you are describing is not that situation!

Also, "parent and child" sharing a disabled toilet wind's me up... Changing a child, while it can sometimes need extra room, often takes quite a while to get in, changed and out with a pram, however, I've been told that in "normal" public toilets which have a pull down changing table, these are only provided in the "female" toilets, which is absolutely wrong!

No they shouldn’t be using the disabled. But I think this obsession with toilets in the UK has got out of hand to be honest. Where I live it’s highly unusual to have gendered toilets. Most cubicles have both a male and female sign on the door and can be used by either. Much more sensible!

I feel guilty using a disabled loo somewhere like a small Starbucks with only one toilet for everyone. This person is being unreasonable.