To be so anxious about driving?

[Gretasmyname]

Or more specifically, parking and manoeuvring.
Passed my test last May
First time pass and took my time learning
Never hugely confident and looking back,?I feel I was eased into the test a bit too much and not fully prepared for 'real 'driving.
Didn't drive at all after passing as no access to a car.
Stupidly went out a bought a pretty much new car in Sept. Thinking id get straight out there all of a sudden. Wrong.
Crippling nerves.
Worried about not being able to park.
I dont have trouble with my left or right but big trouble visualising how I'm.actually going to manoeuvre into the space.
I'm also anxious that i may need to reverse on a busy street and i wont be able to do it or I will rev the car too much and hit something.
I know I need to practice but I live in a very very busy area and nowhere is quiet to try.
All car parks are busy.
Any advice off how to safely practice?
I haven't driven the car since Dec as I feel I don't know what the hell I'm doing .

I used to get nagged at by my oh for my parking, but you do get better at it and able to get into smaller and more challenging bays. Practice!!!

I haven't read all of the posts just the OPs.

Have you tried getting help with the anxiety? Maybe try a hypnotherapy CD in the car or CBT sessions. And also have you thought about maybe putting a P plate on your car to show others that you are a newly qualified driver. I found that this helped me when I first passed my test. Some drivers were still impatient twats but on the whole I found most people gave me a bit of space and were patient if I had stalled or was trying to park.

Try not to worry too much about other people, everyone has been a new driver once.
Is it quieter in your road at the weekend? Can you drive round the block and practice parking on your drive. It really is easier to reverse as then you're not reversing out into traffic. Have you got a reversing camera or could you have one fitted?

Do NOT listen to hypnotherapy cds in the car ! Very dangerous

I know I need to not let this become a thing, but sadly, it has a bit(a lot)
Driving as such,I'm not too worried about. It's when i have to bloody stop and manoevere or park.
Yesterday in the supermarket I parked ok but I drove in and out and it was a big row of empty spaces so I didn't have to do too much.
I most certainly will not be trying anything difficult or too stressful!!
I've got to get good at this first.
All in worried is I'm going to be in car park and forced to doing something because I'm blocked in.
namecharge the only day my road is quiet is a Sunday. Even then I wouldn't say it's empty. Otherwise I'd practice like mad.

Try car parks very early on Sunday morning. You could practice reversing into a space with no other cars about. Do you use a matchstick in your rear window. My driving instructor showed me that trick and I used it until confident I did not need it any more.

@Gretasmyname are you happy driving after dark? I passed my test end of November, so whenI first started driving I would go out in the evening when it was a bit quieter but it was dark. Inititally I would take the car for a spin just to get used to driving by myself. I then started driving myself to my evening course at the local adult education centre. The car park was small, had narrow aisles and was a bit difficult to manoeuvre in. I was always anxious that I wouldn't be able to park or would get stuck. My parking wasn't great but it did improve with practice.

Greta, I have a lot of sympathy and solidarity with this! I have passed 3 years ago and I drive most days BUT I overthink like crazy if I have to go somewhere unfamiliar.
The IAM thing that someone posted about in the thread actually sounds great, so thanks whoever that was!!
I totally get your point about you feel kind of embarrassed to ask for help now, as you’ve not that recently passed do the moment has gone, but I think if trusted people’s support will help then it’s worth taking them up on the offer to sit with you. Don’t feel silly, everyone struggles at times. What I’ve found helpful at times is when chatting and other people mention they struggle with similar things like they also wouldn’t paralel Park or feel worried driving in xyz area then I had the realisation that it’s not just me, lots of people (mostly seems like women) do struggle With confidence but it doesn’t mean you’re not a good enough driver, especially with more practise as time goes on.
In a way, getting into those stressful situations wil help, because then you have no choice and somehow figure it out, and may not be as bad as you imagined. When you go to a tight car park, feel really stressed, but somehow manage it - you will feel a huge achievement! And you will definitely get there eventually. Don’t listen to the couple of extremely rude people on the thread

Firawla
Yes that's it exactly
The moment has gone.
If only I'd have done this the week I had my car. Gone out with DH or whoever.
Had a drive around
Put in petrol
Gone to Tesco car park etc etc.i suppose I'd have been ok and quite confident now. But it's gone on too long.
People are supportive but also almost gloating a bit. Not gloating but commenting.
"Do you use the car much?"
"Have you driven to work?"
It's annoying me
And I'm super angry at the mo:
Dh has yet again commented on where the car is parked. And said surely I can 'just' reverse onto the pavement a bit

Yeah thanks for making me feel even more shit.

Firawla has some good points.

Remind your husband the road is for cars and the pavement's for people - that includes wheelchairs and double buggies that don't need the pavement blocked by incosiderate drivers, which you are not!

Relieve the anger and use a photo of DH for knife throwing target practice.

Hope you get out tomorrow if the weather conditions aren't too bad where you are. It was snowing here today.

password .Yes. quite. He's an idiot. Making comments when I'm already struggling

At work so no opportunity to really go out today although I may have to drop one dc somewhere later. Minor trip
Though petrol(lack of)worrying me

Don't really mind driving after it gets dark to be honest But supermarkets by me open 24/7 so still busy.

caringcarer
Is the matchstick in the window the same as the sticker tip?

One of the things my DF did when I was learning to drive was taking me to an industrial estate on a Sunday and have me drive round it in reverse and do lots of manoeuvres. I really recommend you do something similar. If you can learn the dimensions of your car you’ll feel a lot more confident. Even if it’s a long way away and you need your DH to drive you there, it could really help.

I’m so confident with reverse parking now that I have been known to back into a space that’s so small I can’t actually open the door to get out

I think the other thing is to work on your mental approach. Assuming you pay your car tax, have insurance etc, you have as much right to be on the road as the next person, and so what if some impatient people get pissed off. People like that are going to be pissed off whatever happens so who cares.

However, you need to build confidence so you can react appropriately to emergency vehicles as this can mean pulling into small spaces, and even reversing. Understanding the space your car takes up helps you judge the space other cars take up, and allows you to anticipate where an emergency vehicle might need to go to get through so you can react accordingly.

Yes
This is exactly What I'm worried about
I can avoid certain situations like parking etc But can't avoid if it's a situation that i find myself in and get stuck.

OP you mention Petrol and I right in assuming that you cannot get inot a petrol station or are fearfull of doing it as surely there must be a supermarket round your way that you just drive through to fill up all you have to do is get the back end of the car near to the pump?

Is that casuing a problem and id the petrol issue you speak of?

Justaboy
Yes that's it. I've never done it before.
Obviously I've been with DH a million times when hes done it.
Loads of supermarkets with petrol pumps but always so busy. Worried about driving in wrong bit and having to reverse back out or not lining car up. Lots of things.
Also I plan to try the self serve pumps where you out in your debit card but I'm not sure if all the pumps do this and won't find out till I'm there!!
As with all my my driving I'd be happy to go and practice so long as it's super quiet. But it hardly ever is.

Poor you! this is begining to sound like a phobia almost! Is there no one that can go with you for some assurance at all?.

The only worry i have when getting fuel, diesel actually, is how much its going to drain my debit card!

I don't live anywher near a really big city bit it seems to be pretty quiet at around 10 PM onwards i'd be quite willing the tag along with you but the old man may not like that!

Have you considered asking your ex driving instructor to have a couple of hours with you at all untill you get that bit of confidence you need at all?

Those new self service ones are very good just stick your card in enter PIN await the instuction to remove card and strat fueling stick the nozzle in and pull the trigger if its filling up it will stop itself when full just put it back in its holster and put the cap back on the car tank close the flap if it has that, and take a receipt if needed and drive off into the sunset LOL!

The only thing that can go wrong is make certian that you put the right fuel in Petrol from the Petrol pump not diesel and IIRC you might have a job doing that anyway as they are differing sizes!.

Why not try a dry practice run first you may get the odd look or so but who cares!?

Or park up near a petrol station and discretly see what others are doing and I promise you there will come a time when you'll just be concerned by how much it costs and wonder why you didnt find this as easy as it is!!

justaboy
Thanks
Yes I know. I suppose in the future this will just be a 'nothing'!!
I did think of doing a dry runbut as my petrol is low I don't want to waste what bit I've got now!!
I suspect my local supermarket petrol station will still be busy (ish) at 10pm round here.
I think my only option is wait until Sunday (again) and go as early as possible. If for any reason i cant Do it then I'm going to have to swallow my pride and ask DH to do it while I'm at work Monday as otherwise I won't be able to use the car during half term. A d tben face ut again when it gets empty again.
I've got to get over this new hurdle.
Positively (well almost) over the past couple if weeks I have actually used the car,albeit a little bit,more than before.
Except I have really been anywhere.

You really WON'T mess up at the petrol station. And you don't need it to be deserted, just quiet. Honestly, there really isn't much to it, and you can do it. Please don't wait til Sunday and build it up so much into a massive big deal. The longer you go, the worse it is.

Yep if you get inot a spot of bother I'm sure the person at the next pump will help you out!

I once had a few spanish students who didnt understand pounds per square inch when pumping their, (their car handbook was in Bars of pressure) tyres soon put them straight pleasure to do so!.

squirrels
Yes clearly I am already building it up to be a big deal.
I can't go before Sunday due to work and the time I'm at home will be way to busy.

The petrol station is easy! Don’t worry about that. Go tonight so it’s done. So pay at pump so you don’t have to talk to anyone. Simples.

@Gretasmyname how have you been getting on this week?