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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so anxious about driving?

201 replies

Gretasmyname · 14/01/2020 14:16

Or more specifically, parking and manoeuvring.
Passed my test last May
First time pass and took my time learning
Never hugely confident and looking back,?I feel I was eased into the test a bit too much and not fully prepared for 'real 'driving.
Didn't drive at all after passing as no access to a car.
Stupidly went out a bought a pretty much new car in Sept. Thinking id get straight out there all of a sudden. Wrong.
Crippling nerves.
Worried about not being able to park.
I dont have trouble with my left or right but big trouble visualising how I'm.actually going to manoeuvre into the space.
I'm also anxious that i may need to reverse on a busy street and i wont be able to do it or I will rev the car too much and hit something.
I know I need to practice but I live in a very very busy area and nowhere is quiet to try.
All car parks are busy.
Any advice off how to safely practice?
I haven't driven the car since Dec as I feel I don't know what the hell I'm doing .

OP posts:
PickleMyPepper · 05/02/2020 14:04

I was nervous too OP but, as others have said, you only learn by doing it.

I drove at least once a day for 2 weeks once I passed my test.
Different distances, different places, different conditions (it was winter so fine one day, icy the next.)
By the end of the 2 weeks I didn't even think about it, just got in the car and went.

I hate parallel parking to this day though.
My DF takes me out to practice and get my confidence up even now as I once parked a 30 minute walk away from where we needed to be to avoid it Grin

You can do it. Drive at whatever opportunity you get, take boxes or cones with you to practice parking and look for industrial estates or supermarkets that you can practice in once the shops are shut.
Good luck.

Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 14:39

Thanks pickle
I know that you are right but every day I plan to go out there s an obstacle (literally sometimes!) In my way.
I cannot just spontaneously go put and drive
There's always something preventing it.
I've stupidly parked forwards onto the drive and now due to the sheer busyness of my street I can't seem to find an opportunity to get off again without massive stress.
There is absolutely no way that i am asking DH to move it again. I've got to figure this out

Of I could just have a 5 min gap in traffic I would do it.

OP posts:
PickleMyPepper · 05/02/2020 14:48

Is there anyway you could park on the street whilst your overcoming your nerves?
Just to prevent that particular obstacle until you've boosted your confidence?

One step at a time OP. You can do this!

FannyFifer · 05/02/2020 14:48

I passed my test last summer.
I was really rubbish at parking & reversing but I've kept at it & now I'm getting there. U need to just keep doing it to get ur confidence up. I still always prefer to drive into a space on the right if possible & I've never needed to reverse or parallel park.

FannyFifer · 05/02/2020 14:55

Also I've only just starting parking in my drive. Was parking on the street until last week, I can finally do it now.
Folk are pretty kind if u get stuck in a car park etc, I had a nice man reverse my car out for me once as I got totally stuck & had no idea how to get out of space, kept turning wheel wrong way & getting closer to car beside me.
I've also got stuck going up a hill, couldn't get up it & again a guy in a van rescued me.
You need to keep practicing I promise it will get easier.. x

Auridon4life · 05/02/2020 15:35

I would really recommend learning how to use an off road vehicle and all the ins and outs of a decent car. My nan drove jeeps during the war and so did the queen. My gran was amazing in the car she was great at it. There should be some courses for off roading and intense driving skills. Seize the day op!!! It's like going on the death slide the first time it's terrifying then it's gets easier and then you want to go because it's fun!

Auridon4life · 05/02/2020 15:42

I used to hate cars but I need a E type jaguar in powder blue.

Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 16:32

fanny
To be honest that's my biggest fear that some nice person will rescue me!!
I'd be mortified Shock
Think it's a major worry that i too,will end up turning the wheel wrong way and go in the wrong direction.
I think I definitely need to start parking on the road. It's just it's easier to drive onto the drive. But getting off is the issue now!
If I park on the street I'm worried car will get a knock. Also I'd have to park a bit away from house(not far at all but not the obvious places that the neighbours use) so not over our driveway. Lots of people park half on and half off kerb but ìm anxious about doing that too.
Also what dh does is park on the bit of grass outside, but I've tried that and can't get it in right position and end up on the pavement!!!!
I really need to try and move the car tonight but still busy outside and then it will be dark.
I really want to go shopping tomorrow as them I'm in work Friday.

OP posts:
Naa29 · 05/02/2020 16:37

It just takes practise! I get how you feel. I have been driving for 10 years. I feel I’m a good driver but my parking is still rubbish. I get really anxious about going anywhere if I know parking will be a struggle.

Tattooedmama · 05/02/2020 16:47

I passed my test almost 2 years ago and i still get nervous driving mainly at night, i hate unlit roads when cars come towards me with super bright lights.
Hate using motorway and dual carriageway when its busy.
But i am so much more confident, can pass tighter roads without worrying, big roundabouts used to make me nervous but i am fine now and if i get in the wrong lane, i either change if its clear or exit and try again. I used to get in such a faff.
I can finally parallel park first time (most of the time) and most of the time i reverse into a bay rather than forward into a bay.
The more you drive, the easier it gets.

Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 18:11

Right I've either got to go and move car tonight(if and when traffic dies down ) or I won't be able to do it tomorrow so yet another day of not using car,or get up at 5am to do it?? Thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 19:05

Bump*

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 05/02/2020 19:10

I wasn't mortified, I just stood looking pathetic & got rescued, was a new driver, folk understand.
Can ur husband move car out for you tonight?

Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 19:20

I'm absolutely not going to let him move it for me again
Its soul destroying for me. He's not home yet either so if i move it ive got to do it like now!!
I need to reverse off and to the right
Talk me through it !!
Keep

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 05/02/2020 19:23

So do u need to reverse off to the left, then drive forward so u are the on the right of drive on main road?

Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 19:26

I need to reverse off so my passenger door is Next to kerb

OP posts:
Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 19:27

Yes I guess it's what you just said?

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 05/02/2020 19:31

Reverse straight back, then once u clear drive so u won't hit sides, turn steering wheel completely left, u will then be on road then drive forward and straighten up so u end up on right of drive.

To be so anxious about driving?
FannyFifer · 05/02/2020 19:32

My wee picture is rubbish. 😂

FannyFifer · 05/02/2020 19:33

U can do it!

Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 19:36

ThanksGrin
In my mind I needed to steer to the right

OP posts:
username58788 · 05/02/2020 19:49

I know someone like you passed his test at 17 and now 25 years later still doesn't drive . The mistake he makes is he doesn't regularly drive and has booked refresher lessons about 3 times but doesn't drive and will sometimes go years without driving . When I passed my test as well as driving to and from work I drove on my lunch break . You are overthinking the driving and that is making you anxious and to be honest dangerous.
Book refresher lessons or get a friend to sit with you to build some confidence and drive every single day until you are confident.
Learning to drive is honestly one of the best things don't let all that hard work go to waste.

Puddingnpie · 05/02/2020 20:20

Hi Greta, don't be so hard on yourself. I find driving nerve wracking (passed test a year ago) and am still building my confidence.
While you are still at the stage of getting used to manoeuvres, do you have to park in your driveway? I would also be put off by having to reverse out into traffic. I live on a really busy road (city) so deliberately park away on a quieter street, even if it means I have to walk a bit to my door, as I know the anxiety of trying to get out of a tricky spot will be enough to stop me getting in the car at all. I plan to get more confident and then start parking on my street.

Original poster
Gretasmyname · 05/02/2020 20:40

Absolute disaster
Went out to try
Street still busy but I took my time
Visabilty crap due to parked cars and slope of drive. But I got off ok in straight line. Problem came when I steered to turn. I was like stuck in road.
(Same thing happened last time I tried reversing off).
I realised after that i had handbrake on again(was this the issue?)
I couldnt seem to get it into gear.
Luckily cars could still get around me.
When it was finally clear I managed to get it back into gear and drive back on the drive.
I could weep.

OP posts:
username58788 · 05/02/2020 20:54

Next time deep breaths, check mirrors , remove hand-break, reverse slowly keep checking mirrors .
And remember everyone has parking issues it's just how you deal with them .

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