To be so anxious about driving?

[Gretasmyname]

Or more specifically, parking and manoeuvring.
Passed my test last May
First time pass and took my time learning
Never hugely confident and looking back,?I feel I was eased into the test a bit too much and not fully prepared for 'real 'driving.
Didn't drive at all after passing as no access to a car.
Stupidly went out a bought a pretty much new car in Sept. Thinking id get straight out there all of a sudden. Wrong.
Crippling nerves.
Worried about not being able to park.
I dont have trouble with my left or right but big trouble visualising how I'm.actually going to manoeuvre into the space.
I'm also anxious that i may need to reverse on a busy street and i wont be able to do it or I will rev the car too much and hit something.
I know I need to practice but I live in a very very busy area and nowhere is quiet to try.
All car parks are busy.
Any advice off how to safely practice?
I haven't driven the car since Dec as I feel I don't know what the hell I'm doing .

Thanks overthinking
Yes,in one way I'd like someone with me for reassurance on other hand I'd be happy just trying along if I have a nice big empty space

I.wouldnt even attempt a difficult manoevere or park.

I've either got to come back and park on the drive with inevitable traffic behind me making me anxious

OP have you been behind anyone who’s trying to park? What were you thinking? We’re you annoyed or just waited patiently?

I told my daughter lots of times ‘you have every right to be on the road’ don’t get bullied or worry about other drivers. If you need to park take your time and don’t even think about those behind you.

OP have you been behind anyone who’s trying to park? What were you thinking? We’re you annoyed or just waited patiently?

hope she gets your message easier....

It takes some getting used to a new car. And parking takes practice.

My 2 pence, you need to be willing to parallel and bay park. But at the same time don't feel bad if you avoid the tight spaces and go for somewhere a bit bigger. I've been driving a few years and I'll still sometimes look at a parallel space, think maybe I might fit, but nah, I'll drive on and find something a bit easier.

I got an Easipark lens for my car. It goes in the rear window and provides a wide angle view, I've found it quite helpful for reversing. If you have deeper pockets a reversing camera would be even better.

A friend standing watching while you park may also help, they can call out how much space you've got, and you can get a feel for what that looks like from inside the car.

But overall just practice practice practice. I live somewhere where I've got no choice but to parallel park!

@andyjusthangingaround are you drunk? You seem to keep mistagging and misunderstanding people. From your attitude, I'd much rather be behind the OP on the road than you. Thankfully most drivers don't have this attitude, and I say this as someone who was a nervous driver at first.

OP, take baby steps. There's no reason why you can't learn to be a safe and confident driver if you take things at your own pace. There's no rule which says you have to go straight from passing your test to driving hundreds of miles on unfamiliar roads. You have your license which means you're capable of driving and have just as much right to be on the roads as someone who has been driving for 30 years.

Don't let people rush you or talk you into giving up before you've given yourself the chance to get to grips with driving. It's better to have a small amount of anxiety than to be overly confident. I would keep practising familiar roads until you think nothing of driving them, then go a little bit further out of your comfort zone each time.

Cocky drivers cause more problems than nervous ones in my experience. Cockiness, speeding, overtaking at any opertunity, talking to passengers and not paying attention to the road and misjudging spaces thinking they can defo squeeze into tight spaces.

Op ignore the negativity. Maybe get someone who can drives like a friend to go with you one night to empty car parks and have a practice doing manouvers. Then go out during the day not at peak times and practice again. An hour a day. Thats going to be my plan when i buy a car.

I am also a nervous driver OP (passed then stopped for many years and restarted). All I can say is the only way to get better is to actually drive. What I am finding helps with gaining confidence is doing a few regular short familiar journeys at quieter times then building on this. I like to scope out where I am going and what I might be faced with because I get flustered I have learned where the less busy areas are in the supermarket car park so I can park and then when confident gain I am happier to attempt more difficult spaces. Parking and doing small manoeuvres is about practice and getting to know your car. Sometimes I can parallel park no problem but sometimes I just can't get it. I have watched others try to parallel park on my street and see that they often have to attempt it a few times before they park so I take comfort that it's ok not to be perfect and get it right all the time.

Andyis an idiot and unhelpful and I'm ignoring their comments
Thanks for the positive encouragement though to the rest of you.
back intime yes i really do need to get go know my car. It's very different to what I learned in which isnt helping.
I'm.at work today but I'm determined tomorrow im going to go for a drive
Maybe not somewhere too busy as its Friday

OK OP go for a walk and find somewhere near your house which isn't busy and where there's space to park, eg on the road or in an easily accessible bay. For example, where I live, there is a car park just off the main road which I could walk to in 5 minutes from my house.

Then, knowing that's there, you can take the car out for a drive and bring it home again. If you get back to your road and it's really busy and you are too worried about holding up the traffic while you drive into your drive, just go past and go to your scouted-out parking space instead. You can either leave the car there and go back for it when it will be quiet, or just stay for a few minutes and then come back. Knowing you have that place to take the car where it will be safe, will help you.

You don't have to park anywhere else eg in a busy shopping centre, that's for when you feel confident to stop on a road/turn into your drive with cars behind you. Honestly, people do not want to run into the back of you. As long as you indicate in plenty of time and slow down early, they will give you space. People only get annoyed if you don't indicate and then stop seemingly for no reason.

Once you are happy with that, you can tackle the town centre and find a car park with plenty of bays where you can go to the further reaches of the car park and park with nobody next to you.

(to be fair, I don't parallel park when someone is behind me, I go elsewhere as I know I will make a hash of it when someone is waiting for me)

@berlinbabylon good advice. It's always less scary if you have a plan B. My gym car park is really small but there is more parking around the corner. If I arrive and it looks busy and tricky to get in the remaining bay I will just go to there. I hope to be confident enough to do this at some point but for now this is what I do.

When I was learning my instructor told me his Mum has been driving for 50 years and she has never parallel parked or even reverse parked, she will only do forward bay. I have no idea how she’d survived driving for 50 years without doing either of those but there you go .

Practice really is the only way to boost your confidence I’m afraid. It may help to drive around at night time when it’s quiet on the roads.

The thing about learning to drive is that it's done under close supervision, you are being watched the whole time by your instructor. You are driving a car with some nice look at me I'm a learner driver L-plates... Probably displayed prominently on the roof. You feel like everything has to be absolutely perfect in order to pass the test, and all eyes are on you.

It's difficult to shake that feeling that you are being watched by everyone and judged every single second that you are in the car even once you've passed the test and are out on your own (and IMHO it's worse with a passenger who is experienced driver... You'll still feel like you're under the microscope!).
The thing is that nobody really cares what you're doing so long as it isn't dangerous or illegal.
I have to reverse my van into the yard at work, that involves blocking the narrow (but still busy) road while I complete the manoeuvre... Nobody is ever angry at the wait, they can see what I'm up to and they sit patiently until it is safe for them to go.
If I have to turn the van round on a road to go back the way I came (road closure/roadworks etc) it doesn't matter if my 'three point turn' has a few extra wriggles to get turned round, if that's what it takes to do so safely. I don't have to be perfect, I'm not being assessed.
You don't have to be perfect, you're not being assessed.

Your parking might take a couple of goes to get straight. Fine. Take your time, and if it's not happening, just pick another space. The world doesn't point and laugh if you have to park a little further away and walk the last bit.

Turn in the road needs a bit of a wiggle sometimes instead of a neat 3-points. Fine. Watch others, you'll see some of them do it too.

You passed the test, so you can do this.
Let go of the nerves, you don't need them anymore!

Get out there, drive safe, don't worry about the rest.

I adore driving. Never been anxious. But I still only park in extra large parking spaces and only do easy driving, don't even bother parallel parking. No tricky stuff, sod that! I just wizz around all over the place very happily.
I agree with pp, maybe just 20 minutes every day of just driving around, just easy stuff?

You sound like me OP. I passed two years ago and have avoided driving pretty much ever since!

However I now need to drive a short distance to work and have been ok so far, despite it being dark and stormy, infact one (probably experienced driver) was trying to do a u-turn on a busy 7 lane road the other day and scared the life out of me! Not ideal, but the driver did eventually do it safely. It just scared me as they were waiting in the centre for me to pass and I thought I had run a red light (I didn't)

I used to over analyse my driving, but you forget people make small mistakes every day, just like you would with another skill. It's about how dangerous they are.

I'm still really scared, but driving to work is a huge start for me. Please don't give up like I did for a while! It gets harder the longer you leave it.

I'm confused by all of the drivers who say you shouldn't drive. I know tons of people who struggled with nerves initially and every single one of them drives fine now - no honking from other drivers. I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect every new driver to not be nervous.

oddsocksthat's so true all what you said about being under the microscope!that's why think i prefer to go alone

berlin excellent advice and I have,on session driven past my house a couple if times till i can face pulling up.
However I was planning to go to a shopping centre tomorrow!Ihve done it before. It's a huge shopping centre and last time I went there w ere loads if spaces. Not sure whether too.ambitious now and to stick with the local stuff?
It involves about a 15/20 min straight ish drive and in a dual carriageway which doesn't massively bother me. What bothers me more is that i cant remember how to enter the car park!also in case tomorrow I get into a reversing situation!

OP if it's a huge car park there will always be a space you can drive into and through to the other side. It may be further from the entrance to the shops but there will be one. And in a supermarket car park it's not obvious that you're driving round looking for an easy space. Go for it. What's the worst that can happen. If there's no space just come home again

My new car is a lot bigger than the old one, I can almost always find a space that's drive through so I can drive off offer or to be fair I'm managing to reverse park these days (very much aided by having DS and parent and child spaces. I think a big car park will be easier, park as far away as you like to get nice easy spaces.

Hello. My advice Is always reverse into parking spaces, so much easier. You just need to get your confidence up and you will be fine. Don’t worry it will come. Good luck.

Well OP, did you get out in the car today?

backintime
Not quite no.
Something came up Friday giving me an excuse not to go out (doesnt take much).
I had a little practice yesterday but local familiar roads so not pushing myself.
Today I made a huge effort to get up and go out early to a big car park. That was ok I suppose, though i should have stayed there for longer. It was easy as empty but still wasn't easy for me!!
Problem was coming back and parking at home. Tried various options and couldnt park how i wanted to. Got anxious.
Parked on drive but now,but I won't be able to reverse back off it as tomorrow traffic on my street back to dead busy, so I'm going to have to get DH to do it which isnt helping is it.
Found the whole thing stressful.

It's a start OP and the more you can do it the easier it will become. Is the issue that you have to reverse onto your drive in a busy road? Would it be possible to move the car later in the evening at a quieter time? Maybe just practice this with your DH?

Resurrecting my thread to post that i have made NO progress whatsoever.
I haven't driven since last week. A whole week.

I got up early last weekend to go supermarket shopping but bottled it totally as even early morning my road was busy(for me). So felt way too anxious to reverse off the drive And risk making a total fuck up or having cars wait and being flustered.
I have had no no easy opportunity to drive since then.
This morning I set alarm to get up and try and move car. Again, no good. Road still got traffic every minute or so. Plus added stress that a neighbour had parked close by so another stumbling block.
Now traffic has built up and will be same all day. There's a retail park on my street so constant traffic.
I hate myself.
I've got some propanalol and I've just taken one. Not that it will help as I can't get out today now.
This is plain stupid having to plan days ahead to go in car.
Next chance will be Sunday when I can only hope for quietest my street will be.

Any one else sympathise with me please