To not want to compliment people who answer like this

[Shesacrazy]

Settle an argument between me and DP-

He thinks I’m being unreasonable as I refuse point blank to compliment someone after I’ve paid them a compliment and they have answered with “I know”

I.e
“Your looking fantastic”
“I know I do”

Or
“That outfits gorgeous on you”
“I know it is”

Or
“You suit that hairstyle so much”
“I know, that’s why it’s like it”

I’m all for people being confident and totally love giving compliments as I know it boosts peoples day, but this response to me is a conversation killer.
Why not answer “thanks” or make conversation about it, just had your hair done, nails done, found a new shop with nice styles then tell me about it!

AIBU to just not pay second compliments to people who have answered as such in the past? He thinks I shouldn’t change who I compliment based on reactions as self confidence is not arrogance. I’m not particularly saying it’s arrogant but it’s not something I’d like to repeat.

I do this if a man uses a line on me. It's a good way of instantly identifying a bad egg. Nice ones laugh and dickheads always look as though you've insulted them!

'I love you, Han!' 'I know'. Swoon.

As the saying goes, "no one likes a show off or smart arse".

Now so long as you know.its a joke, as I would if on the rate occasion, I'm complimemted. I'm.mot used to receiving, as I'm usually the one giving a compliment to someone.

I've said, in a jokey fashion... Oh I know, makes my arse look.good... then proceed to wiggle.my.arse! lol

I think of.you pay someone a compliment, they should ALWAYS, return with... Oh, thank you, are you sure?

I’ve never met anyone that does this.

I had no idea second compliments were even a thing?

I've certainly never complimented anyone and recieved the comments you have, where are you meeting these over confident people?

If someone compliments me I always say thanks and if I offer a compliment you get one and one only otherwise I think it sounds sycophantic.

YANBU.

I have just been on a parenting Puzzle course and I was advised just to say Thank you 😄💙 although in a role play situation I was complemented on my skirt, but it wasn’t a skirt it was jumper dress with a material frill. 😄😄 difficult but I had to explain, but I look like I have been dragged through a bush backwards anyway, so don’t get many compliments for years!! 😄

I think it’s great. I’d rather this than the usual self deprecating responses of ‘oh this old thing £2 from primarK’ or ‘I’ve only washed it’ after someone has blatantly spend hundreds on a new do!

I'm more bothered by the incorrect spelling or typos than the comments. Do you remember every compliment you've ever given and the responses ?

What's the problem with complimenting them again thought? Are you worried you're going to boost the ego of a narcissist?

Perhaps you should try a criticism instead of a compliment next time and see what the response is? Something like "That dress would look better in blue for your complexion" etc.

My daughter does it to me all the time. It’s purely banter with her, and I now do the same back 🤣

I don’t think I would mind if someone agreed with the compliment I gave them. Good for them for having strong self worth. I often say self deprecating things in return without thinking and I see it take the joy out of the compliment givers words. I am trying to work on that.

Honestly? I like it when people own it.

Wow. You dont like confidence do you. You want people women to be thankful of scraps of compliments but to not believe they could possibly be whatever your saying. Reminds me of controlling men saying shit like ‘she doesn't know how attractive she is, thats why i like her.’ AKA Wankers.

Nobody gets a haircut, buys an outfit, wears a particular lipstick, because they think it makes them look awful. They get it because they think they look nice in it.

@CalleighDoodle
That’s a leap, I’m certainly not aiming to bring women down. It’s predominantly men who have replied like this to me... like my DP.

Yanbu it's very smug unless said with a wink and an ironic giggle.

You must know a bunch of extremely cocky people!
I used to be pathetic about receiving compliments. Now if somebody says something nice I say, 'Oh! Thank you!' and smile.

If that's the case @Shesacrazy then I would take his response to you as a compliment! He's so comfortable with you that deep down inside he doesn't feel the need for the formalities of thanking you.

If they were neuro typical, that would come across a bit rude to me. But if they responded in the ilk of, ‘I know, right?!’ I’d respond in the ilk of you go girl/man! Woohoo!’ 🥳

I’d only really compliment a family member or close friend anyway and I know how they’d receive the compliment.

On the basis of the OP I am going to stop telling DS I love him or that he is my favourite son. Both always get the response of 'I know'. After all, all my DC are secure in the knowledge I love them and he is my only son!

It is a rude response to a compliment though. Lazy linguist has it right with this though... a, b & e - Perfectly fine, genuine responses (b acknowledges she looks good, but not arrogantly, c is modest but not falsely so)

c & d - twats

Have you ever thought people don't want your compliments to 'perk up their day'? Just compliment people if you genuinely think it and that way when they respond confirming what you've said you won't be so annoyed 🤷‍♀️

I love lazylinguist's response

You can't beat Mrs Elton in the film "Emma" for false modesty. My personal favourite is:
"These sandwiches are delicious, Mrs Elton! You really are a gourmet."
"Mmmmmhmmmhmmm...! Well, I never compliment myself, but my friends tell me I certainly know how to make a sandwich."

The response to a compliment is, 'You're so kind, thank you.'

I saw Sophie Turner being interviewed on an American TV show and she was saying 'i love myself, I've fallen in love with myself' etc.

So terribly un-British.

It's a cocky reply. I've never had anyone respond like that to a compliment. If they did, I'd assume they were saying it tongue in cheek.

I still don't understand the 'second compliment' part of this conundrum. How would he know you had been intending another comliment, then didn't say it? Do you announce it? 'Well, I was going to compliment you then but, since you're a cocky bastard, I shan't'.