To not want to compliment people who answer like this

[Shesacrazy]

Settle an argument between me and DP-

He thinks I’m being unreasonable as I refuse point blank to compliment someone after I’ve paid them a compliment and they have answered with “I know”

I.e
“Your looking fantastic”
“I know I do”

Or
“That outfits gorgeous on you”
“I know it is”

Or
“You suit that hairstyle so much”
“I know, that’s why it’s like it”

I’m all for people being confident and totally love giving compliments as I know it boosts peoples day, but this response to me is a conversation killer.
Why not answer “thanks” or make conversation about it, just had your hair done, nails done, found a new shop with nice styles then tell me about it!

AIBU to just not pay second compliments to people who have answered as such in the past? He thinks I shouldn’t change who I compliment based on reactions as self confidence is not arrogance. I’m not particularly saying it’s arrogant but it’s not something I’d like to repeat.

Has she said she won't compliment him? If not, how has anyone noticed?

This is odd. I've never heard people respond to a compliment like this ever

it just seems a bit petty tbh OP-why do you feel you must police it and administer compliments in such contrived ways to the deserving/only in situations you deem your rules to be adhered to? Bit odd, it isn't a point scoring exercise!

I tend to just compliment people anytime that there is something to compliment- you can hardly tell someone you like something and then be disapproving that they agree. Equally, i have never heard anyone say " i know" when receiving one. Rationing positivity with yourself as the moral compass doesn't reflect that well.

Sounds a bit Nessa!

Responses like that sound smug and twatty. I don't know why someone wouldn't just respond "thank you," or "thanks, I'm really pleased with it," or something along those lines - those would be polite responses

My answer would be 'Self praise is no praise.'

The appropriate response when someone compliments you, is ",Thank you."
Not "I know"
Not "You're wrong"
"Thank you"
And if you can sincerely return the compliment, so much the better.
Some people have no social skills
I wouldn't pay a second compliment either in that situation

Isn't it just good manners if someone pays you a compliment like "you look lovely," to say "thank you" and then try and find something nice to say back like "you're looking really well," or "your dress is gorgeous," as long as what you are saying is fairly genuine/plausible?

You’re not being unreasonable if anyone actually responded to a compliment arrogantly with ‘I know’, to not give any more compliments, but I’ve never met anyone that has responded that way, unless tongue was firmly planted in cheek.

How boring if everyone answered Thank you and then sincerely returned the compliment. Is this according to The Official Rules of Ladies' etiquette?

I'd much rather a witty reply or a funny self deprecating remark, even a sarcastic "I know" and a hair toss will do.
OP, it's likely they were being sarcastic or falsely smug just for a laugh and you've missed the undertone.

If people compliment what I'm wearing, I'll agree with them that it's great/pretty/gorgeous colour, etc because it's not like I made or designed it.It's not a personal compliment to me. I bought it because I agree it looks nice. It's not arrogance.

It's not a compliment personal to me.

I have never heard anyone do this

Your compliments are probably coming over as ingenuous or creepy.

Someone could compliment something of mine (outfit, hairstyle, my makeup) and if I agree then I will usually say 'I know right' not in an arrogant way, just in a way that says 'yeah my makeup never usually turns out this well' or 'yeah I think this dress is really beautiful'

I don't say it at every compliment obviously but sometimes, and people know I'm not an arrogant person!

How boring if everyone answered Thank you and then sincerely returned the compliment. Is this according to The Official Rules of Ladies' etiquette?

I love the I know right and hair toss mentality, and the tongue in cheek one, that’s different it’s more the serious “I know” I’m iffy with

@FreedomfromPE I never considered my compliments were coming off as insincere.. hmm maybe they do that’s actually something to ponder!

I do know a few people who answer like this and they tend to not be jokey at all about it, I’m all for them responding how they like, but I’m equally allowed to not pay them a compliment again.

I don't know anyone who knew ale a compliment in this way!

If someone said it to me I would say "Rude!" And I wouldn't want to continue speaking to them.

Don't see the problem. They more than likely wore it because they knew it looked good. I'm not being fake modest just to make someone else feel useful.

I agree that 'thank you' is the most appropriate response.

I also think people are thrown when they encounter a confident woman. Women are “supposed” to be so modest - so we’re expected to say oh no, this is wrong and that is wrong or oh thank you so much, blah blah blah. So if someone says “yeah, thanks, I know” people are taken aback.

There are quite a few examples online of men messaging women to give them a compliment and when the woman gives a confident, “Thanks, I know” reply, the man then gets nasty and insults her. It’s very misogynistic.

The ideal response to any compliment is just “thank you”. But a different response wouldn’t stop me from complimenting someone I genuinely thought deserved a compliment.

Meh.

I’d still compliment a person regardless as long as they didn’t say something rude after like talking negatively about someone else and “I know” as an answer doesn’t bother me. Often, people wear things that they know look good on them so.. not a big deal and definitely wouldn’t not compliment a person if they answered that way in the future. I’m usually asking questions afterwards about whatever thing I’ve complimenting them on.

Ur only complimenting people who disagree with u? U sound strange..ur compliments aren't sincere either if u care how they react?

How do you want them to respond? Are you looking for them to reciprocate with a compliment in return and are disappointed when they shut the conversation down?

"I like to compliment people to perk their day up a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️ A simple smile would suffice"

Or you could leave people to go about their day without physically critiquing them.

I hate compliments. I pick clothes that I like and suit me, I own a mirror. Why do I need you to tell me how I look?

If it's part of my working day, I consider my appearance irrelevant.