To not want to compliment people who answer like this

[Shesacrazy]

Settle an argument between me and DP-

He thinks I’m being unreasonable as I refuse point blank to compliment someone after I’ve paid them a compliment and they have answered with “I know”

I.e
“Your looking fantastic”
“I know I do”

Or
“That outfits gorgeous on you”
“I know it is”

Or
“You suit that hairstyle so much”
“I know, that’s why it’s like it”

I’m all for people being confident and totally love giving compliments as I know it boosts peoples day, but this response to me is a conversation killer.
Why not answer “thanks” or make conversation about it, just had your hair done, nails done, found a new shop with nice styles then tell me about it!

AIBU to just not pay second compliments to people who have answered as such in the past? He thinks I shouldn’t change who I compliment based on reactions as self confidence is not arrogance. I’m not particularly saying it’s arrogant but it’s not something I’d like to repeat.

My neice used to say I know thanks when i called her beautiful i love it haha. Sadly now shes 10 shes been bullied and tends to not like her appearance as much :(

I've never heard anyone accept a compliment with 'I know' in a smug voice.

However, an acknowledgement that someone is pleased with a new hair style or a dress that suits them if perfectly reasonable.

I get a lot of compliments on my dog. I certainly don't look at her and say 'oh, what this old thing'. I usually say something like yes, I think she's gorgeous/pretty/cute too.

That's a beautiful jumper!
I know. I was so lucky to find it in a charity shop!

Oh and different rules with DH of course. I've been known to chase DH into another room when we're getting read to go out going "Acknowledge how fucking cute my hair looks goddammit!"

I do this. I say, "I know I love it too". I dont think they're complementing me, they're saying they like the scarf/bag/perfume etc. However if someone complimented me I.e. my hair or body then I'd be like "really?! Thanks!".

The only person I’ve heard say that seriously is 3yo dn.
Me and dp say it jokingly to each other sometimes, as in ‘I know I do, your so lucky to have me’. I’m trying hard at the moment to just say thank you for compliments, rather than brushing them of, as I’ve always hated the way I’ve looked and found it hard to accept people saying I look nice.

I’ve never had anyone respond in this way,

Is it really happening so often?

I love your dress, its the perfect colour for you!"
"Oh really? I hate it, I think it makes me look like a hoover bag

'Oh yes, you are right, I see what you mean' would be appropriate as a response to that one.

Having read that Huff post article I think I might change my answer, as I think it’s completely fine to agree with a compliment from a prospective date like this. I was imagining a compliment from one female friend (or perhaps entirely platonic male friend).

Kind of seems like you're complimenting people for their thanks.
If you're genuinely complimenting them their answer shouldn't matter unless it's something offensive aimed towards you or someone else.

Are you going to carry a little notebook with you so that you can record who did and didn't respond appropriately, before you decide they are worthy enough to receive one of your compliments?

Oooooh , here comes Jenny, that's a nice frock she has on, shall I say something? Let me just check....hmmmmmm In October she responded with "I'm so pleased to have found it in the sale" but then on December 12th she said "I know" when I said her hair looked good. What a pickle!

Not complimenting people for their thanks, I like to compliment people to perk their day up a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️ A simple smile would suffice

Was genuinely just curious cause we were discussing a few people we know who answer compliments like that and I said I’ve not complimented them since.

I don’t like the “no I look like shite“ answers either but it wouldn’t put off as bad.

"Congratulations, I heard you got 3 As in your A levels."
"errr...no I got a C & 2 Ds"
"Really, you're mum said you got 3 As."
"Errr....I did, but I don't want to offend anyone by admitting it and appearing arrogant".

I suspect the target of your compliments is answering "I know" in an ironic way; a sort of dead pan humour.

I do this sometimes to diffuse the awkwardness of getting a compliment.
Boss; you're great at your job
Me; (dead pan) I know,

Jeeeez people on AIBU like to go all out don’t they.

No notebook recording them, they are few and far between I’m sure I’ll remember 😂

I get very awkward /embarrassed receiving compliments and have sometimes responded by saying 'I know' - but made it very clear its a joke and followed by making a funny face / laughing / winking /saying I'm kidding obvs. Facing my awkwardness with deflecting to black humour.

My old colleague was very dead pan in his humour also, he would probably say 'I know' and fluff his hair whilst posing. Again joking. A lot of people did not 'get' his humour and thought him stuck up, he was far from it.

Never met anyone who would SERIOUSLY say this and actually mean it though - do people do that?! Very narcissistic if serious.

If it was a compliment in your work or something you’ve worked hard on an I know I’m really pleased with it is totally different

@GeePipe that’s a shame! I bet she is beautiful too. Bullies are awful!

I refuse point blank to compliment someone after I’ve paid them a compliment and they have answered with “I know

You mean pay them another compliment?

How can you refuse to compliment someone when you have already complimented them.

Only person who does this is Nessa on Gavin and Stacy

@MyuMe I’ve refused point blank to compliment someone again after I have paid them a compliment and they have answered with “I know”

My bad.

I know right.

Depends on the situation, if you compliment someone hair color say, and they agree and say it suits them much more, nothing wrong with that, and it shows confidence which is great. However if you just call someone pretty and they say I know I would think that vain

@Lornacat1 yeah that’s it, it’s about context!

DP answered my sisters compliment with an I know before and she wasn’t happy, that was 3 years ago and she’s refused to compliment him since 😂

Anyone else hearing a Fawlty Towers 'I know'? 😂