Oh Clair, what a time you are having. I've read your entire thread! It took me back to those dark days when my dd was little, fuck me I could not do it again. I also had a birth that went wrong very quickly and ended in trauma, it is so unfair that the one time we really should be healing we can't cos the tiny babies need every last breath we have inside us. So I get it, and I think you are doing a really great job. Ignore all the dicks on here, some people just have absolutely NO idea how real life can be.
I wanted to pick up on something as I am so triggered by some of the descriptions of your babies behaviour, I too thought I was going insane SHE NEVER STOPPED CRYING OR SLEPT.
It turns out my baby did have serious reflux, caused by a milk allergy, I mean, I knew that, she was vomiting 50 times a day, could I get the GP to take me seriously? No chance, it was only when we ended up in hospital when she was 8 weeks as she had sicked so much by this point she was bringing up bile! I'd asked for gavisgon etc, maybe seen the gp 10 times they just sent me way every time. It was horrendous.
You mentioned 'projectile vomiting' how often does he do it>? When you say your clothes smell of sick, is the sick acidic smelling? Like adult sick? If so this is acid reflux. When babies do normal milk spit up it does not have that rancid smell, it is just milky and then if dries smells a bit 'off' after time. So if it is acidic, this is certainly something to mention.
You mention poo explosions, my dd's were constant. Her poo had a strange consistency, almost hair gel like and sometimes smelled like vinegar. She also went to toilet really often. I used to change maybe 10+ dirty nappies a day. I only learned over 5 years later when looking after niece and other friends babies (I had mine young like you and was the only one I knew at the time) that this is not usual! Another thing to keep an eye on.
She would not be put down, ever.
She would not lie on her back, ever, I had to let her sleep on her front and bath her in a sit up tub.
Motion was the only thing that calmed her, so in a sling on my chest moving or being walked very fast in the pram, again, lying on her front on the mattress.
Between week 1-4 she didn't sleep for longer than 21 minutes, usually only on my naked chest.
It was such an extreme time, pure survival really. I was a mess.
Blasting out white noise extremely loud did help sometimes.
I'm sure there is more I have blocked out, I feel the early weeks were just as traumatic as the birth was, so do not neglect these feelings too. See if yur hospital has a birth reflections service where you can have a bit of a debrief with midwives/doctors, when you are ready.
Keep typing to us all, we're listening, duck.