To not want the faff of changing my surname if we get married this year...

[SweetMarmalade]

Dp & I have been together for almost 25 years, have a dc.

Possibly going to tie the knot this year, no big event, we’ve decided we really should just go ahead and do it. Won’t change who we are, our relationship but it will make us both feel secure for the future.

My biggest issue is changing my name! I’m late 40’s, at this time in my life the thought of changing my name seems like a big pita! Bank, passport, GP, hospital, driving license etc etc

Dp would like me to change my name, I’d like to keep it! We’ve talked about if I possibly‘double-barrel’ it but it’s still a faff! I love my surname, it means a lot to me and my heritage.

I love him, want to marry him, aibu not wanting to change my name?

There is no reason for you to change your name. YANBU.

How does he he feel about changing his surname to yours?

I wish I hadn’t changed my name. I have been married for 17 years and still don’t really like having a name that isn’t me. I wish I’d stayed with my maiden name: I was all dewy-eyed about marriage so I agreed to change my name even though dh said he’d never change his.

Why would you change your name?

Your name, you decide. If he feels strongly about changing names, he can change his.

No need to change! I didn't.

Ask him why it's so important. If it's that you have the same name, he could always change to yours. If it's 'it's traditional' well, if you were that bothered about tradition you'd have got married long ago, so you can't be!

It's your name, your decision. If your DP feels so strongly about you both having the same name, then he is free to change his

I finally got round to changing my name after nearly 20 years of marriage. It was really very easy so not a big faff. It made very little difference so do it because you want to, there is no need to do it.

Socksey, there’d be no chance.

keep your name on all legal documents. you could use Mrs HisName socially (Christmas cards, school etc) but it is definitely a big faff to change things officially. especially if you work and need to inform lots and lots of people of the change.

I've been married almost 20 years and haven't changed my name, my husband didn't change his either. No regrets.

After 25 years he should be sed to your name by now!

He didn't mind living with a woman with a different name up to now, did he? Didn't mind having a kid with someone with a different name!

It's totally hypocritical bollocks.

If I don’t change my name do I become Mrs (maiden name)?.

Don’t see why you should change your name. If he is keen on you both having the same surname maybe he can change his and deal with the faff rather than expecting you to.
I didn’t change, nor did he. His parents also kept their own names and they were married back in the 1950’s!

I have been married twice and didn't change my name either time. I both cases it was because I really couldn't be bothered with all of the faff andd paperwork and s because I felt like.my name.was mine and I had no desire to take anone else's. So from my point of view YADNBU

We got married in 2017 after 34 years together. DS has DH's surname. I haven't changed mine. Not a problem.

I worked out how much it would cost to change my surname with every company/service provider and how many copies of our wedding certificate - at several £ a copy - I would have to provide. Decided it wasn't worth it. Hasn't made the slightest bit of difference.

Keel your name. No need to change and you, most importantly, dont want to.

Ask dp to change his to yours if it means that much to him.

You can tick Ms or Mrs on any form you have to fill in, regardless of surname. It's only up to you, nobody else.

None of the women in my husband's immediate h family have changed their surnames on marriage, three sisters and sil and they all married 20/25 years ago. My daughter hasn't either. It's becoming fairly common now. I changed mine but I probably wouldn't nowadays.

Not in the slightest.

You'll become Mrs if you want to but not otherwise. Which is the same as it is if you're not married. You use whichever title you prefer regardless of marital status.

Got married in my early 30's, I did not change my name. I have never seen the point in doing it, it's my name, plus the expectation never falls on the man

My DH never minded but the amount of comments I got was surprising given our modern times. Don't do it if it's not what you want, and if you DP has a issue with it ask him to change his - I expect like most men he'd take exception to him doing it but not you.

You can just be Ms maiden name. No need to change it if you don't want to. It isn't your DP's decision to make.

Why bother. 25 years, a name doesn't matter.

I really regret changing mine.