To not want the faff of changing my surname if we get married this year...

[SweetMarmalade]

Dp & I have been together for almost 25 years, have a dc.

Possibly going to tie the knot this year, no big event, we’ve decided we really should just go ahead and do it. Won’t change who we are, our relationship but it will make us both feel secure for the future.

My biggest issue is changing my name! I’m late 40’s, at this time in my life the thought of changing my name seems like a big pita! Bank, passport, GP, hospital, driving license etc etc

Dp would like me to change my name, I’d like to keep it! We’ve talked about if I possibly‘double-barrel’ it but it’s still a faff! I love my surname, it means a lot to me and my heritage.

I love him, want to marry him, aibu not wanting to change my name?

It's your name so keep it if you want to.

You do what you want OP! It doesn't matter.

it's very normal not to change your name in Norway. Children usually have one of the parents' surnames as a second name (they don't really do middle names) and the other parents' surname as a surname. So for example Hilde Killi Olsen where one parent is Mads Killi and the other is Mette Olsen.

I’ve always done a sort of halfway house - married name at eg school, dentist, social stuff with my DH, and maiden name for passport, bank accounts, profession etc. I’ve never formally changed my name but I think I’ve only had to produce a marriage certificate twice in 25 years - to bank cheques relatives have written in my married name.

I know lots of professional women who use their married name on an informal basis like this. It never occurred to me to change my legal surname.

I double barrelled my surname and regret it. Email address at work is so bloody long and complicated, call centres always miss spell over the phone and can't find me, log ins for work also long and pita. Two simple single syllable names have become a nightmare. Sorry DS, you can change it when your 18 though!!

I kept my name and our children were given both. Im over the moon I did as he turned out to be the biggest deadbeat dad and so both kids dropped his part. My ex in laws were horrified and refused to acknowledge it. A red flag if ever there was one as they are absent grandparents.

In this day and age where half of marriages end in divorce and its nearly always the mum who raises the children then it makes far more sense on a practical and indeed a moral level for women to keep their own names and to give it to the children instead of the father's.

Thankfully its the way its heading as women are wising up.

is the other thread on the subject the reverse?

name change is the ultimate in wife-work if you don't want to do it. If he's that bothered, he changes.

I changed my name to DH's because I didn't want my father's name any longer than I had to.

If that's the real reason why wait until marriage? You could have changed it the day you turned 18 to anything you wanted.

I have no clue why women ever change their name. Passing into new ownership from father to husband.... Tell your DH to fuck off and join the 21st century.

@mencken total it is ultimate wifework and boring

Do what you prefer! Personally I did change my name but despite the fact I'm getting divorced I'm not bothering to change it, it's a pita to do it! If I remarry though I will change it