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Original poster

What Children’s toy still traumatises you?

249 replies

Soubriquet · 12/01/2020 08:23

Was discussing toys from when my oldest was a baby, when I suddenly remembered that stupid singing v-tech bear my mum bought my dd.

Nearly 7 years later, and I still remember the fucking song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
I’ll teach you 1-2-3
A sleepy hungry happy bear
Hey come and hug me”

AngryAngry

Then it would randomly go off in the evening with things like “I’m a happy bear!”

No bear...you were lucky to be in one piece

OP posts:
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23
LolalolaLola · 12/01/2020 14:03

Clown Jack-in-the-Box.

What kind of absolute bastard would think it was a good idea to have a CLOWN jumping out of a box at kids.

SinkGirl · 12/01/2020 14:08

I've heard some modern children have been traumatised by the sarcastic Bop-It. "That was fantastic!.... Not."

I do love Bop It

That VTech fire engine is the worst - did they even write a song or just get the guy to sing stream of consciousness making up a tune as he went along.

And the bloody garage. Grr.

Vanillaradio · 12/01/2020 14:31

Our house was like blinking V-Tech central when ds was little-most of which now I come to think about it was donated second hand from friend- now I can see why! Not one but two Alfie bears. ( I thought for a while it was anouncing it was a friendly liker bear,)Puppy calling walker "Let's Play Puppy Says....". Toot toot Garage "Need a Wash??" and millions of cars which ds liked to set off all at once! Quite often I'd be vacuuming or tidying up and suddenly hear a voice to find I'd hit one of the damn things and it was singing at me.

Archaea · 12/01/2020 14:50

My dad used to terrify my brother with an “emu” hand puppet (Rod Hull and emu)

Lordfrontpaw · 12/01/2020 15:00

My sister ‘rescued’ an old fox fur from a neighbours bin (rabid looking thing, glass eyes that looked in different directions, false fangs 6 legs and a touch of the mange). She used the chase the kids in the street with it.

florriepeck · 12/01/2020 17:27

DSis was terrified of our cousin's ventriloquist doll.
It was called Mr Parlequin.
Of course, cousin and I took advantage of her terror.

Toddlerteaplease · 12/01/2020 17:59

@orangeblossom. Cabbage patch kids are amazing. I had a huge collection! Still got many of them!

amusedbush · 12/01/2020 18:10

I had one of these, which lit up and played tinkly lullaby music when you pressed it. Except the bastard thing started playing by itself in the middle of the night.

I was really young and it gave me (and my dad!) the fear Shock

What Children’s toy still traumatises you?
Original poster
Soubriquet · 12/01/2020 18:19

I had one of those amused!!!

It was one of my favourite toys as a kid

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Lordfrontpaw · 12/01/2020 18:35

florriepeck - my sister had one of those too... I see a theme here with her!

toomuchtooold · 12/01/2020 18:45

The only good thing about having fuck all sleep in the first 6 months of twin motherhood was that I'd forgotten that little bastard's song. It's all coming back to me now...

toomuchtooold · 12/01/2020 18:47

Hey does anyone have the wee vtech fascist police car? "It's my duty to maintain order!" it says, shortly before locking you all in the cellar where it can be sure you won't do anything unpatriotic.

GrandTheftWalrus · 12/01/2020 18:48

DD (3) has the singing picnic basket and the zhu zhu hamsters. The hamster is a terrifying beast.

ANiceLuxury · 12/01/2020 18:54

I ve just bought ds a luvabeau doll from facebook. He loves it but the woman's daughter who i bought it from was terrified of it.

When i went to collect it yesterday and pulled it out of the bag the little girls face was a picture and she kept saying “I don't like it! I don't like it!

EssentialHummus · 12/01/2020 19:03

Hey does anyone have the wee vtech fascist police car? "It's my duty to maintain order!

Yes! “ I’m a brave police car, on my to stop the crime... yeah!”

Fuck off.

I thought it couldn’t get worse, but a friend now has the full set in French.

Almostalive · 12/01/2020 19:07

I was born in '77. I remember having a handheld maze game, a bit like the ones with a bubble of water nowadays, containing Mercury! Ffs!

LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/01/2020 19:13

I find the really big 'beanie babies' soft toys really creepy. The massive mulitcolour unicorn with the huge eyes looking at you like its going to murder you in your sleep...

TheNoodlesIncident · 12/01/2020 19:14

Here's a friendly little fellow for you @KnucklesMcGinty!

I think he's quite cute really

Original poster
Soubriquet · 12/01/2020 19:15

I have the giant fox, leopard and dragon beanie boo babies BlushGrin

want to see a picture?

OP posts:
Original poster
Soubriquet · 12/01/2020 19:16

I was born in '77. I remember having a handheld maze game, a bit like the ones with a bubble of water nowadays, containing Mercury! Ffs!

OMG my nan had one of these!! I loved playing with it

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LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/01/2020 19:17

@Soubrique I want to see the dragon, because I really like dragons. However I think I'm going to be dissapointed :p

Original poster
Soubriquet · 12/01/2020 19:19

This is Darla! (It says that on her name tag)

What Children’s toy still traumatises you?
What Children’s toy still traumatises you?
OP posts:
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 12/01/2020 19:20

Little singing alfie was a total cunty twat. He was still shrieking "I love you, give me a kiss" in the wheelie bin two days after I lost the plot with the bastarding thing

BlueJava · 12/01/2020 19:23

My gran had a toy cat from the 1920's, it was windup and would open and close it's mouth. The pic is like it (not the actual one) but I was petrified of it!

What Children’s toy still traumatises you?
drspouse · 12/01/2020 19:26

My DD (5) has always been obsessed with eyes. Googly eyes, teddy eyes, she doesn't care. She made a really looooverly Christmas decoration with loads of glitter, paint... And googly eyes. It looks at you.