What Children’s toy still traumatises you?

[Soubriquet]

Was discussing toys from when my oldest was a baby, when I suddenly remembered that stupid singing v-tech bear my mum bought my dd.

Nearly 7 years later, and I still remember the fucking song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
I’ll teach you 1-2-3
A sleepy hungry happy bear
Hey come and hug me”

Then it would randomly go off in the evening with things like “I’m a happy bear!”

No bear...you were lucky to be in one piece

My daughter was given one of those singing bears. One day, the wretched thing was downstairs in the same room as me, whilst my daughter was napping upstairs, and it just decided to randomly shout out "Peekaboo! I see you!". Brrrrrrrrrr...

I was looking a youtube videos on retro toys and I saw this clip of a Chatty Cathy doll from the 60s. Terrifying. How any child would want to play with that, I have no idea. it's demonic grin. It's inane horrible laugh.

Also not from my own childhood but from the "old days" again, maybe 60s or 50s, they had these monkeys playing cymbals. I think you would wind them up and they'd play their cymbals. They look terrifying! Stephen King wrote a short story about them which didn't help my fear.

Oh and I hate those feckin' Furby things. They look like how I'd imagine demons from hell to look. Ugly. and annoying. They give me a kind of mild tooth grinding rage when I see one

Not a toy but a tv show - The Flumps. I have no idea what they were supposed to be.

I've just remembered that somebody once gave my brother some slippers which were monster-shaped, which looked like they were biting his feet off. He loved them, but I didn't like seeing them. But recently, I was at someone's house, and she was wearing these shark monstrosities! The horror! Does nobody care about the safety of their feet any more?

Oh and I hate those feckin' Furby things

My sister's Furby was stuffed out of sight under her bad. We forgot it was even there till it started doing a sinister little laugh in the darkness. Kill it with fire, I tell you.

We have that bear. I read your post OP and could hear the song in my head

WareBears! Can still smell the plastic teeth 😳

My childhood nightmare toy was baby feckin boom, my little sister had one and it creeped me out, she recently got on for my 2yo DD - it’s still in its box in the cupboard 😂

Out of all the toys DD and DS have (twins) I agree the v-tech bears are bloody awful, especially when their batteries start running down so you get their giggle and “peekaboo I see you” in a weird deep slow motion voice shudder.... second to that it’s tickle me sodding Elmo 😩

When I was small there was a clown hanging from a shelf in my bedroom, so it was looking at me when I was in bed. I was terrified of it. It was strange crocheted clown - it's head was a tennis ball with a white and blue crocheted cover and facial features made of felt - creepy black felt the Xs for eyes. It had a pointy hat, a big frill around it's neck and no body but very long and twisty arms and legs that ended in a frill with a bell sewn it where a hand or foot would be. It was all blue and white, frilly crochet. It's difficult to describe the full horror.

Years later as an adult I told my mom how it used to terrify me and she was aghast that I'd never mentioned it to her. But how could I have told her? Obviously if I'd said anything it would have GOT ME!

Amazing how many people had that sodding bear.

V-tech have a lot to answer for

The little singing Alfie (and Alice, because PINK!) are on 2 for £15 in Argos and has been for years, so they’re a nice cheap gift to give to literally every new baby!

I bet they were reduced because the poor Argos workers are now suffering PTSD everytime they step into the stock room and here “hug me!” come from the corner

Hahaha. It’s toy shop workers I feel most sorry for. A busy Saturday with kids running about pressing ALL OF THE BUTTONS.

My daughter had one of those big fuck off head toys, you could do the hair for etc.

Swear it used to look at me in a funny way

@Namechangenugget - a styling head or a La La Loopsy? Both equally creepy!

@makingmammaries me and my cousin had one of those dolls. I think she still has hers ....... Actually are you my cousin

I had a build your own Godzilla plastic model. All was fine until the night. He had creepy glow up eyes and teeth and I used to make my mum take it out of my room !

I don't know what possessed my parents to buy this, but I had a game called Incy Wincy Spider. It had foam spiders that jumped. I hate spiders with a passion, as does my aunt who is only 12 years older than me. She was my babysitter and for some reason we played this game, when the spider jumped she screamed blue murder and went and hid under the stairs. I think I was about 4 and I remember it vividly. It took ages for her to come out.

I had a child sized talking doll that freaked me out 😬

Surely it has to be that creepy Fisher Price Jackinabox? From the mid 70's! It looked demonic!

Furby. Mine told me to 'be quiet' and kept talking after I'd taken the batteries out!

Are we all too old to be scared of the game "Don't wake dad"? I think that might have freaked me out as a child.

Kind of a toy: I remember a magician at the end-of-term party, who had a puppet of a grinning cartoon bunny, saying this bunny was very naughty. To this day, I remember the magician's patter: "Every night, I put him to bed, and I'm so tired I go to bed myself. And as soon as I'm asleep, he sneaks out, and he goes hoppity hoppity hop down the street, so I run after him, bring him back, smack his bottom, and he cries like this, (imitation)…". The magician then did some tricks, where the rabbit moved while his back was turned. That rabbit haunts me!

We had a Bertie the Bus (from Thomas the Tank Engine original series) which my Dad had found at a Boot Fair. It said about 5 different phrases from that original series, on a loop, my favourite being: "I can't stop. I've got to Weerk." But, and I cannot emphasise this enough, that was ALL it ever did.

Then one night, the thing was probably about 15 years old at this point, I was putting the toys away when it suddenly recited: "Thomas. Edward. Henry. Gordon. James. Oliver . . ." and all the rest of the engines in number order. All in Ringo Starr's lugubrious voice. It never did it before or since.

I can only imagine it was some sort of voice-check Our Kid did at some point which was accidentally loaded on to the microchip.
But by crikey, I nearly dumped some clinker on the track! (train metaphor).

Some years ago We bought a singing Christmas bear from a well known DIY store. The voice was supposed to be American/Cockney. Think of Bert the sweep in Mary Popins. He began singing ‘We wish you a merry Christmas ... but due to the accent then sang..We’ll all have some poison candy instead of pies n candy.