What Children’s toy still traumatises you?

[Soubriquet]

Was discussing toys from when my oldest was a baby, when I suddenly remembered that stupid singing v-tech bear my mum bought my dd.

Nearly 7 years later, and I still remember the fucking song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
I’ll teach you 1-2-3
A sleepy hungry happy bear
Hey come and hug me”

Then it would randomly go off in the evening with things like “I’m a happy bear!”

No bear...you were lucky to be in one piece

Ok apologies for getting a bit heavy here and not QUITE on topic but need some advice....
In the loft I have a golliwog
Much loved, knackered, filthy....passed from my sister to me. We adored it (1970’s) Wtf do I do with it? Bin seems obvious but.. disrespectful somehow. Mortified to even have the thing
WWYD?

A set of Happy Families playing cards with really ugly caricatures of the family members. Stuff of nightmares but we still kept playing with them.

@notso I was going to say that jack in the box, the horrible sound it made and I also once trapped my finger in it, hated it!
Eldest ds had one of those weird shaped balls that vibrate and jump around, he was only crawling and the sight of it used to make him crawl away top speed and cry his eyes out. Younger ds just used to pick it up, put it in his mouth while it was vibrating and drool all over it!

@Notso - oh my god, I didn’t think anyone else had that terrifying jack-in-the-box. It wasn’t just the appearance, which is pure homicidal damned soul trapped in a small plastic clown, it was the dying “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhh” noise it made when it jumped out.

And you know the worst part? My mum appeared when I had my toddler DD1 - “I saved some of your favourite toys [where??? Why???]. I thought DD would like them”. Yep, you guessed it. Weeeeeeeeeeeehhhhh...

@Notso I had that Jack in the Box!!! It never bothered me as a child, but I can see now that it was horrifying!

I had a plastic doll with an oversized head on a string. If you pulled the head away from the body, it made various high-pitched exclamations:

• I’ve lost my head over you!
• My feet are getting closer!
• I’m falling apart, ha-ha!

Did anyone else have that nightmarish monstrosity?

Notso I LOVED ours.

@makingmammaries Yes! A friend had that doll. "Here comes my body!" What would possess any company to make it, let alone someone buy it for a child?!

My 8 year old is terrified of the tickle me Elmo I got my toddler for Christmas. Proper tears

Alfie Bear! My daughter had one, adored the wretched thing, eventually buttons were sticking and it was getting nasty. Finally it gos so icky I threw it in the bin, and on the way to bring the bag to the big bin I heard 'I love you'. I am on ly sligtly ashamed to admit I may have put heave stones on the bin lid and kept an eye on it until collection. Horrible horrible toy.

My own - I was given a lifesized ragdoll when about six, it sat on a chair in the corner watching me for years. Probably it's in some creepy junkshop now just waiting.....

In the middle of a prayer it said boring and then started to snore.

That's hilarious. I love a facetious Furby.

We had a haunted brio train tunnel that used to spookily chuff to itself in the back of a cupboard.

As a child I had a book with a picture on the cover that genuinely terrified me. I had to keep the book face down and couldn't touch it. Why I didn't ask my parents to take it out of my room, I don't know.

Not a toy so much but them horrid clowns in a box on the pier seaside front that laugh and shout as you pass them . They scared me as a kid and I still dont like clowns now am I am in my mid 40s

My neighbour had a collection of Pierrot dolls she had a couple in her window she swapped them round every now and then so I never knew which evil one was going to be watching for me coming home from school

I love the critical Furby!

We had a jack in the box with a delay. So you pressed the button it would wait a bit before popping up. Do they all do that? Anyway I was always on edge waiting for it to happen and when it did I got frightened. Every time. I liked order and predictability as a child - still do - and this was quite at odds with my worldview.

Buckaroo.

Fucking buckaroo.

Yes @RubaiyatOfAnyone the noise, sounds like the life is being drained out of it!

DS2 used have a cow book with a button that made a mooing sound. When he was about 10/11 months he would press the button, immediately wail in the most heartbreaking way and throw the book, then he'd regain his composure crawl after it and repeat. It would occupy him for ages but was awful to watch.

Yes! Buckaroo was frightening for the same reason as the jack in the box delay. How can you be content when you don't know when it's going to happen? It could happen any time!!!

There was a dentist barbie that made the brushing teeth noise, in the middle of the night, constantly!

It fell down the back of the wardrobe and we couldn't reach it and it freaked me out for 3 or 4 days until the battery run out!

Bloody Furby. Ours went feral when the batteries started to go flat - it would make the most awful groany noises at random intervals. I don't know what happened to it - it's probably in the garage somewhere...

My cousins had that book, Knuckles- I used to hide it in the hall whenever I had to sleep over

Oh that’s horrific that your furby melted I melted my own when I was about 12 now I’m 14 and pregnant 😃

Am I missing something here? Are furbys actually ancient fertility dolls trapped in 21st century casings, when melted their potent fertility powers infect the nearest person?

My son was terrified of Action Man - no idea why. He's a grown man now and we still have a laugh about it.

Hello puppy's calling you.

That vetch toy song will be imprinted in my brain forever.

@CreekIsRising

Yes! Buckaroo was frightening for the same reason as the jack in the box delay. How can you be content when you don't know when it's going to happen? It could happen any time!!!

I'm sure buckaroo is the cause of a few of my phobias. Damn thing. Weirdly I still played it though!