What Children’s toy still traumatises you?

[Soubriquet]

Was discussing toys from when my oldest was a baby, when I suddenly remembered that stupid singing v-tech bear my mum bought my dd.

Nearly 7 years later, and I still remember the fucking song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
I’ll teach you 1-2-3
A sleepy hungry happy bear
Hey come and hug me”

Then it would randomly go off in the evening with things like “I’m a happy bear!”

No bear...you were lucky to be in one piece

Every jack in the box, ever

Omg I am crying at this thread!

That bendy toy is going to give me actual nightmares...

The most long lasting, annoying toy was probably the full glitter pink My Little Pony which would say "I love you! I'm pretty! I love you! Comb my hair" on repeat in the most annoying voice. I loved the pony but got my mum to take the batteries out and 25 years later I can still hear the sodding thing in my head!

Also went through a stage of insisting my life size doll had breakfast with us each morning - I loved her so much but found a photo recently and my poor parents must have been a bit freaked out

Christmas 1979 my parents were obviously short of ideas, as they got me an Emu puppet like Rod Hull's. Except they didn't wrap it, they draped it over the end of my bed with the fucking thing's eyes staring straight at me as I slept. When I, in my great excitement, woke up at 5am all I could make out in the darkness were these two eyes and great big terrifying BEAK at the end of my bed. I was too terrified to move, turn a light on, call out or do anything except lie there breathing shallowly and hoping the monster wouldn't pounce. I have never been so relieved to see daylight... It was a hideous thing and I never wanted one anyway so God knows what they were thinking...

I have a whole collection of them! Giant ones, medium ones and little ones.

As well as tatty teddy bears and LOL dolls.

Biscuitsneeded sorry but I just snorted at your description

I am so glad to have discovered fellow “here comes my body” sufferers 🤣

We had a possessed furby too. Scared me to death when it randomly went off at 4am shrieking ‘Wakey wakey eggs and cakes’ I’m sure the bloody thing laughed at me too (shudder)

I also had the jack-in-the-box. Terrified and fascinated me in equal measure.

My friend had this doll called ‘Cricket’. You put a tape (I’m old) in its back and it walked and talked and read stories. Awful.

I used to want the game Ghost Castle but hated the thought of a glowing skull being anywhere in the house after dark.

Wahhh we had that book with the horrid fingernails, I'd completely forgotten about it

My daughter has a weird cuddly cat with a plastic face that has kittens, it's just weird .....

Cabbage Patch kids!

My mum used to try and persude me to get one every week when we went to the supermarket.

Still scare me now and make me think of chucky!

Soooo many vtech things, but Toot Toot fire engine already mentioned has not been out of my head since I bought one a year ago.

Pirate Pete I'm A New Big Brother book with the baby laughing button. I swear the exact same noise recording is used on everything. It was the sound of the baby laughing on Hey Duggee baby episode. Once you notice it, it's everywhere.

The absolute worst though is this big purple octopus you put a ball in and it gives you clues to which of its feet it's under. It never works properly, but says random phrases at night. "Want to play?" coming menacingly out of the spare room in the dark, like something out of a horror film.

My son absolutely hated this at age 2, as soon as the countdown began he would flee the room.

This horrid "lullaby bunny" by Tomy still gives me the shudders. My parents thought it was cute and bought it for me when I was 3 and it is the only object from that time period I remember vividly and with horror. It lights up red and sings what is supposed to be a lullaby but just sounded like distorted message from beyond this world

@makingmammaries I had that doll thing! "Here comes my body" . Loved it at the time but looking back it was bloody weird!!

@Soubriquet the dragon is quite cute actually :) Maybe its just the unicorn thats a bit stabby looking.

Well a unicorn would be, really ;)

For me it's Mr Pop (photo below). You had to assemble his face against a timer, he looked slightly like a clown which was creepy enough but when the timer finished he would LAUNCH HIS FACE OFF.

Had to hide under the dining table from him.

I had a toy horse that was covered in felt for its skin and had a mane and tail. So the mane and tail fell out I could cope with that but then it's felt skin started to peel off and obviously been a child i couldn't help but further this along until I was left with this horse shaped plastic shell....was a bit weird. I also had a soft toy dog that had a pouch in its belly where it's little puppies were and you could open the pouch up and it could give birth....for years i thought every birth happened like that

My friend had this doll called ‘Cricket’. You put a tape (I’m old) in its back and it walked and talked and read stories. Awful.

Oh I so wanted a Cricket doll. My friend had one. I was so jealous.

@amusedbush I had a Glo Worm. I've still got my Glo Worm pillowcases, and regularly use them for the DCs bottom pillows. They love them!

@Soubriquet DS1 has the pink and green version of that dragon, as well as a keyring green one. They're cute!

Elmo.
He told full stories. Danced. Moved. Ergh

This book. Put me off both boys names. That tomato looks scary and Oliver onion is odd.

@Biscuitsneeded I am laughing so much at your description, that is brilliant

@monkeytennis97 bloody hell I remember those books! For me it was Pam Parsnip and Lawrence Lemon that gave me the creeps, they look like a pair of wronguns:

This threads cracking me up! My son has Alfie bear in his cot and due to decorating is currently in my room....scares me half to death occasionally when it randomly talks in the night

As a kid my brother and the kids of a family friend used to have boglins, I was terrified of them. They used to put them on the door handles and shut the doors so I was trapped in the room balling my eyes out. Ahhh Brotherly love!!

I had a ladybird type book as a child that was scary short stories. The stories were fine but the cover had this little green monster thing sitting on a tree and the cover creates me out. I always had to make sure it was face down on the bookshelf.

When my brother was born my mum bought this fisher price musical bluebird cot toy thing for him, it was passed down to me and then passed along to my aunt for my cousins. When DD was born my aunt gave it back to me to put on her cot. It was nice as it has been in the family for so long. It was only once I got it back I seen the ‘child’s prayer’ on the back.

• When at night, I go to sleep

Fourteen angels watch do keep Two, to whom ‘tis given To guide my steps to heaven

I found that a bit creepy. I don’t want to think about my child dying every night when I put her in her cot. In the end I didn’t put it in her cot anyway as the pull string was a bit old and frayed and I wasn’t convince it wouldn’t fall apart with a small child pulling in it. The plastic strap to attach it to the cot as also a bit stretched out and worn so it would have fell down easily (that thing was old school solid plastic too). I will try to post a photo if I can find one online.

Just remembered another one. My friend that wall clock in her bedroom that was a black cat. It’s tail and eyes moved side to side when the clock ticked. I was convinced it was evil and was watching me.

For all those (quite rightly) terrified by Struwwelpeter - some evil person has animated it and put it on YouTube, I once discovered. It's way worse than the book.

I ran out screaming from Punch and Judy. Was also not keen on clowns, Father Christmas or anything involving audience participation (pantomime.) I maintain this view in adulthood.