AIBU to get DS a tattoo for 16th Birthday

[catsandwine]

Not just any tattoo. A Manchester bee.
DS was at the Manchester Arena 22.05.17 as a young teen.
She has suffered with PTSD following this and a number of associated effects, including on grades due to time off.
Despite being in my late twenties I’ve never felt compelled to tattoo my body but I certainly consider this worthy.
AIBU to get her this for her birthday?
If I, as an indirect victim, feel no differently almost three years later, I sincerely doubt she will ever feel differently.
I will also have the tattoo in solidarity (indirect but heartbroken nonetheless) and make a donation to the fund equal to the tattoo cost. I’m thinking just above my right elbow and will restrict the location of hers to one that won’t cause issues in a professional environment (she wants to be a teacher, I am and always will be, office based).
I should say I will ensure it is a reputable tattoo artist. She looks a lot older than she is, but if challenged I will have a suitable (illegitimate) ID available.
Part of me thinks that I just want to get a gift that she will appreciate forever, but the other part of me thinks that this is the right time as she is developing her independence and she has had enough time to consider.
She already has a life plan and a boyfriend etc (?precociousness associated with trauma).
If IABU due to the illegitimate ID, please let me know that this is the reason. The means are a different issue for me. I would always ensure there were zero repercussions on the establishment and owner of the ID.

One of the worst ideas I have heard . Permanent etching on a 16 year old re: a horribly traumatic and deeply sad event, permanently labelling themselves as a victim of that event even though there are existing mental health traumas. What is the logic?

I sincerely hope this is run past any therapist/MH professional she sees. OP you don't have the power to ensure the law does not pursue something not legal but legality aside I think morally it is poor to encourage this by way of turning it into something you do together or any conversation that encourages it. She can get it when she is older if she wants, or pay her respects in ways that are removable and do not risk MH issues in the meantime. Let her grow up and move forward and enter into it legally and of her own initiative if and when she so wishes.

I’m pretty sure it is against the law until he is 18.

I'd wait 2 more years. I think it's a lovely idea but she's too young.

Completely unreasonable.
Shes mot old enough. You arent her parent and dont have parental responsibility for her.
Uou font know what the psychological repercussions of having a permanent reminder etched on to her body to look st every day as a continuing 'in her face " reminder will be. Just no. Let her wait a few years until she is older and decides to buy it for herself and foesnt grab the opportunity as a gift and until the event is further away in the past. I'd seriously caution against it.

Can you get her a bee necklace instead?

I love tattoos but she's too young and the idea is too tied to recent trauma. If she really wants it then she will wait another two years until it's legal. Then she'll be more removed from her experience and better able to rationally decide. I love tattoos but you have to be so careful with consideration and meaning. I would advise against tattooing as a response to trauma in general.

Obviously you were being unreasonable OP and I'm glad this thread has brought you to your senses, but I just had to pick up on one poster.. Sit yourself down, have a cup of tea and work out what handbag/makeup/hairdryer she'd like and get this ridiculous idea out of your head. gender stereotyping much? My daughters would have preferred new football boots or artists materials.

It's actually against the law for anyone to tattoo a person under 18, even with parental consent, so even if you manage to get a tattooist to do it, it'll probably be a shit tattoo anyway.

Tattooing is a fashion which will die out eventually (hopefully).

@Bluerussian Tattoos have been around for thousands of years,so i dont think they are dying out anytime soon.

Im glad op you have decided not to get her the tattoo.Because tattooing is very personal.In 2 years,if she wants to still get it done,get it done somewhere reputable.