AIBU to get DS a tattoo for 16th Birthday

[catsandwine]

Not just any tattoo. A Manchester bee.
DS was at the Manchester Arena 22.05.17 as a young teen.
She has suffered with PTSD following this and a number of associated effects, including on grades due to time off.
Despite being in my late twenties I’ve never felt compelled to tattoo my body but I certainly consider this worthy.
AIBU to get her this for her birthday?
If I, as an indirect victim, feel no differently almost three years later, I sincerely doubt she will ever feel differently.
I will also have the tattoo in solidarity (indirect but heartbroken nonetheless) and make a donation to the fund equal to the tattoo cost. I’m thinking just above my right elbow and will restrict the location of hers to one that won’t cause issues in a professional environment (she wants to be a teacher, I am and always will be, office based).
I should say I will ensure it is a reputable tattoo artist. She looks a lot older than she is, but if challenged I will have a suitable (illegitimate) ID available.
Part of me thinks that I just want to get a gift that she will appreciate forever, but the other part of me thinks that this is the right time as she is developing her independence and she has had enough time to consider.
She already has a life plan and a boyfriend etc (?precociousness associated with trauma).
If IABU due to the illegitimate ID, please let me know that this is the reason. The means are a different issue for me. I would always ensure there were zero repercussions on the establishment and owner of the ID.

I worked in tattoo studios for 17 years. I was - and still am - very good at spotting fake ID. There are obvious signs of legitimacy you look for, and some not so obvious, but no matter how good the customer thinks it is, fake IDs stick out like a sore thumb.

You already know tattooing under 18 is illegal, regardless of parental consent. A lot of people don't realise the enormous amount of trouble a tattooist or body piercer can find themselves in if the law is broken, up to and including prison time and signing the sex offenders register (although the latter applies more to piercers).

As a PP says, she can wait for another 2 years.

My dgs has a necklace with a bee pendant. Nothing to do with Manchester - he just liked it and bought it for himself on a school trip.

Why don't you get her something like that? At least she can choose when to wear it instead of having something that will possibly be a trigger for her PTSD permanently etched into her skin.

I think what you are planning to do is outrageous, for all the reasons pps have given. YABVVU.

I would get her a necklace of the bee and pay for the tattoo on the five year anniversary when she's 18

@Newbie1981 I didn’t call her a moron, I said tattooing a 16 year old illegally was moronic. And Mumsnet must be quite challenging for you when it comes to the swearing.

The whole tattoo culture is coming to an end, it's been predicted early 2020s like most thinks it's a fashion and I would inflict this on a child

Very bad idea

@user1473878824 not challenging at all. Confused as to why the need in SOME instances. Some people get off on being cruel tho I guess.

think you can get a tattoo over 16 with parental consent and presence as already pointed out this is an urban myth. Glad you saw sense OP.

Two years is not long to wait for a tattoo that would be there for a lifetime.

Wow. I can't believe you're even thinking of doing this.

What is wrong with you? Bloodyhell. You're not even her parent.

No reputable tattooist would tattoo an under 18.

It's s terrible idea anyway , why would they want a reminder if traumatic times

Don’t be ridiculous. How on earth would a tattoo make her feel better about anything anyway?

We were at the arena, as were thousands of others. We've bought a few bee things since then, but never felt the need for a permanent tattoo. We'd rather forget than have a permanent reminder every time you see it and having to explain it when others see it. It feels kind of childish saying it would have a deeper meaning. It wasnt something to be proud of, being there.

There are some lovely Manchester Bee pendants for necklaces or bracelets, and probably earrings too, op. It's only while googling that I learned that the worker bee has long been a symbol of Manchester which is featured on its coat of arms, in case there's anyone else who was totally unaware of the significance

pay for the tattoo on the five year anniversary when she's 18

Anniversaries are to celebrate happy times or to remember the life of family and friends no longer with is.

Anniversaries are to remember whatever significant event you want to remember.

What if it gets inflected and has to go to gp for antibiotics? They will see she is under 18, will the tattooist will get fined anyway, fake Id or not?

The OP has got the message...

Don't you legally need to be 18 ?
I know it was when I got mine

No definitely not.

My DD's close friends were there as well. They haven't tattooed themselves.

No. There is a reason that the legal age is 18! DD wanted a tattoo at 16, we didn't allow it.
She waited till she was 18 and got a well thought out tattoo which is lovely. She is glad she waited.

You sound very immature OP. And also like you’re trying to have some of the attention for her trauma for yourself. You’re “big gesturing”.

If she is serious about a tattoo she’ll Still be serious about it at 18.

16y is too young for a tattoo. Regardless of meaning. It's illegal for a reason. Wait til she 18y and let her be the one to suggest it first.

For her 16th why not buy her a nice piece of jewellery featuring the Manchester bee instead? Something she can keep and not a permanent mark on her body.

I love tattoos but it's illegal under 18 so yabu. Any tattooist willing to tattoo a 16 year old isn't reputable at all. And risks losing their licence.

No tattooist will do this to an under 18, and any that do should be avoided tbh.